All Comments on 'Girls are Prettier at Closing Time'

This author is rapidly becoming one of my all around favorites. The plot twists and turns are just enight to keep thge reader "honest" with it being too much "out there".

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When the wife reacted to the husbands concern with "Oh you are a man you are jealous of my success" I thought this story was going to go in a different direction. Instead he remind her that he has always been there for her and that he is a stand up guy.

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One comment about the wife's attitude. The wife's reason for NOT telling her husband about the suppose sexual harassment from her boss... Not sure if that adds up.

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If nothing else the wife's reasoning for NOT saying anything... " I wnated to do things on my own" is seriously fucking childish to the Nth degree. Its shows someone who seems to

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1)have a distorted view of the world/ reality

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2) someone obessed with one-UP-man-ship instead of working together as a husband/ wife team .

no consistency with wife's behavior or attitude.Any mother who shows such little concern for son would be crap full out,(unless on narcotics).And even in fantasy do things work out so well?Pistolpackinpete

Nice feel good story, good triumphs over evil and they live happily ever after.

Loved the Story will Agree the Reason given for not talking to Husband was a Little Lame but it was an exceptiable excuse and Ended in Good Fashion with Her Smashing Bosses Face.

would be great to Hear him tell his wife about 2 beatings and why He did not Report Either.

Curt

And like you I do like happy endings. Keep writing.

Cute story line. Predictable, but quirky enough to be interesting. But, please, get an editor. They are free on this site. Or just have a friend read it before you release it to the public. If you spend that much time writing it, a little last minute polishing should be part of the process. Wrong words, missing or misplaced punctuation (an extra " really screws things up for the reader's understanding), and some senseless sentences detract from the story.

I loved it. You are doing some fine pieces of positive work in this category. Have to admit that getting married without even knowing the other person used to be done, but it could be highly dangerous. The fact that once her inhibitions were down she went sexually wild might be related to her ovulation. The problem of being independent is that you have to be isolated from those you love which in not a good idea.

<p>A couple of spelling errors here and there =), but nothing to detract from the story.</p>

<p>A couple of twist worked out great. You used most of the classic signs of cheating to provide plausible proof that not only was the wife innocent, but she was using the classic signs as a way to fix her own problem. That was good, and "not" something that is normally seen in stories like this. That was a "new" twist I've not seen in a while and only helped your story.</p>

<p>Thanks for taking time to post one really good story in a long time here</p>

-Risq

would catch. But the story like is very good. I have a few friends that fall into this category of what used to be called forced marriage. Now adays guys just walk and girls dont complain. Shame how people have grown to have no standards, another victim of the Democrats eh?

Keep or writing like this but get an editor. As Harry said I wanted to do it by myself changes the marriage into nothing instead of a joint venture.

Let's get the unpleasantries out of the way: There are some writing flaws, mostly word errors (quite/quiet, there/their, here/hear, etc); and a few other problems which some good editing would catch. Basically, though, this is an excellent story. All the pieces of the standard fare of a cheating slut wife, as was adroitly pointed out, but with the happy ending of a wife who was indeed faithful and had reasonable motivations to want desperately to accomplish something all "on her own". The bit with getting her parents to embrace reality was a nice touch. Good work!

-- KK in Texas

"Cardinal knowledge" did me in. Archie Bunker actually said that on an episode of "All in the Family". I think you meant "Carnal Knowledge". BNice tale, though.

as an equal full partner in a marriage with the same rights responsibilities and consideration the husband gets.

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With Angie -squeak Men / husband are stupid knuckle dragging neanderthals who are meant to be lied to and easily manipulated as long as you give them some pussy.

as happy as a dog eating shit. Today I have read two stories that has a woman wanting and being faithful to their husbands. I have also read your stories where the husband treats his wife like an equal partner. That is so refreshing after story after story about wimps and whores. Keep it up..NYMINUS

Could have been better and even sparkle with editing.

which direction it was going. The ending doesn't match the wife's bahavoir and attitude. You made the wife get defensive and attach her husband when he confronted her... but if she was not hiding an affair this is NOT how she would react. She new this crap was going on at work, and would have answered her husband's questions and talked about it when confronted. Instead you made the story match your desire's as a writer to create mystery, which doens't fly. Especially since you made it carry on for months. You also forgot that you had the wife dressing extra sexy, dropping buttons for this new guy at work... then you did a 180 and had her not want this guy's attention, and surprise, she's a loving wife. You can't have it both ways. Doesn't work.

A frat boy wanted to have CARDINAL KNOWLEDGE' of a co-ed?? CARDINAL KNOWLEDGE??? I stopped reading after that idiocy.

that delivered a realistic story line. You developed that characters very well and had them fit the story line. Bobbie was a devoted Christian, and with her background, would probably not cheat. Charley is a grown up frat boy who could logically expect cheating given the signs. They failed to communicate well, but neither party let go of the other.

Overall, I'd say it was a great story. There's a couple of mispellings, but it doesn't really detract from the story. I've seen worse spelling on CNN's website or in their news crawl. I liked the happy ending. If I were going to criticize something, it would be that it's a bit too much of a coincidence that the husband happened to appear at the office at just the perfect time. OTOH, that kind of thing happens a lot in fiction books and stories. Well Done. I look forward to more of your stories. --Jim

I'm really enjoying your stories. You are becoming my favorite author. Don't worry about the haters. You'll get thorns along with roses. Keep writing & entertaining us. Thank you for the story.

This story reminded me a bit of a DGH story. Very realistic, appropriate length, moved along, adequate character development, etc. Not bad. Regarding writing technique, I think an editor would be helpful in terms of the frequent spelling and syntax errors. But all-in-all, I liked this story. Thanks for writing.

I liked the story a lot. Pacing and plot were good and dialog believable. I was annoyed that you do not know "hear" from "here", but an editor or just reading your own story aloud would help.

one specific thing.

right at the beginning of the story you have your lead character talking about cardinal knowledge. the word you were intending is carnal.

There are surprises at the beginning of the story with the couple slowly falling in lover with each other. One thing that's different from other "Loving Wives" stories is that the couple were not in love at first but, rather, became lovers after their son was born. The impression I got of them at the beginning of the story is that they were something of an odd couple. But everything came together. She was a tough gal and took self defense to ward off her boss at the real state agency. All in all this is a wonderful loving wife story and quite consistent with other stories by Woodmanone. One negative is that, like me with my preparation of scientific papers, the author needs to edit his stories carefully or better yet, have someone else do so for him. RAG

another fine story

Hey its baseball season now, so if the story was set in St Louis he could have been trying to impress the ladies by showing how much he knew about Albert Puljos career batting average 8-)

Seriously though another great story, with the hubby taking responsibility for his actions instead of running away after knocking up Roberta.

Although the incident with the asshole Jack could have been handled better meaning the wife should have been more upfront with her hubby about the sexual harassment.

I am glad it worked out for the best, and that he really loved and cared for his wife under difficult circumstances proves that there are some good people in the world.

Really good story.

The husband DID have the right to be suspisious, and did get to see that his wife was faithful. You have crafted a very good ending to the start of an awkward start of a marriage. Thank You.

However, there was no cause for him to hit jack and commit the criminal acts of assault and battery so I deducted 2** and rated it 3***.

Other then the crimes of unprovoked assault and battery, I loved the story.

Your choice to give him the chance to say goodbye properly - legal or otherwise is not something to reduced the score for your quality of work - at worst the choices the character made not the writing style or quality.

It always fascinates me what causes people to score the stories - I star with the style and execution, then grammar and context - the outcome is not part of it - if I disagree it is a source of thought or challenge for me not a point of contention with the author??

At worst it is a difference in opinion about how I would do it which is not grounds for changing the author grade - just stimulus to do it myself if I do not like how they did it LOL

And well deserved one.

From DWidiot. He/she is here twice . A 3* and a 1*. I don't know how you authors stand it. For me another great story. I truly believe that you dont need love to start a marriage. As a lot of arranged marriages show, love can develope over time. Commitment is the first requirement. The rest comes. Thanks for the read. Jim

I always love a happy ending. A great story. Thanks.

In todays sexually driven society your stories are a breath of fresh air. But I'm still waiting for a good action comedy, filled with mistakes and just total flat fuck ups by your characters. Thanks.

a nice story! The author needs an editor. The recurring errors = you vs. your, I vs. me, and numerous verb tense mistakes.

Why should someone call you names about this very good story? In the world are happy endings, as bad ones...You wrote very well about a happy ending..And I didn't even notice the errors...

You hit that one out of the ball park. A 5 star tale.

and then remember who and why, and then its hope and pray. TK U MLJ LV NV

The story? Readable3***.

mediocre writing

I see there is a guy or gal signed on as Anonymous who said story is crap. My first question is if you didn't like it why did you read it?

I had a commander who would work his butt off if you signed the complaints I received for him. One of the first things he said was "If they don't have the courage to sign their complaint, I don't have time to deal with it"

I say the same to those who do not "person up" and identify yourself when being petty

Very nice story,well written

5***** and thx for sharing

Another enjoyable story with believable characters. Did spot one spelling error you have cardinal instead of carnal.

Another fine tale. It is so pleasing to read a story when cheating is not involved. (I did think that she might be cheating when she began her changes). It is nice to see love win and read about people who know what love really is. However, I must say again, don't these people communicate? A marriage is not made up of 2 individual people, THEY ARE a pair and 2 heads are better than one. A marriage is when 2 individual people become one. They must have each others back, front and sides. When one has a problem, they both have a problem. She may want to solve the problem on her own, but she must let her husband know what she is doing, especially when it changes the family dynamics. As I step off my soapbox, I want to thank you for another fantastic story.

Good job.

Very well written. Some comments about the story and commenters. Yes, there are a few spelling errors. Big deal. Everyone pretty much knew what the author meant, but paying a little better attention and/or an editor would be a benefit. As far as punching the guy on his way out of town, that was necessary as a matter of pride and as a teaching lesson. Just a reminder not to mess with a married woman. If he didn't do this, the guy figured he could continue with his old ways in a new place. Anyway, a punch may have saved his life from a future husband who owns a gun and is not so forgiving. Besides, if he reports it he figures the entire episode would be brought to light. The only thing is that his wife should have trusted him more and let him know what was happening rather than just listening to her boss. Didn't she think that he saw her change in dress, additional makeup, etc.? And his not telling her how much he loved her over their entire marriage? It may have started a little (or a lot) rough, but he admitted in the story that he had come to love her. Tell her, stupid!

Of course if the communication was good in all these stories, they wouldn't be as interesting and there wouldn't be as many wife preditors. At least as many left alive. Like I told my son-in-law, 'I have a gun, I know where to hide a body, and I have no problem going back to prison.' He still to this day wonders how serious I am. That's a good thing.

I like the authors who block anonymous comments. If you can't take credit for your comments, don't leave them.

Still five stars. A wonderful ending.

I do like for a change a happy ending or reconciliation. As not all wife's are evil, selfish cheating, size queens, slut motivated woman.

I think thst covers most characters of wifes portrayed in the Loving Wifes section, lol

A good story and a good read.

More please

5 for a good read and effort.

Again fun enjoyable read. In regards to those of us who spotted Cardinal Knowledge and commented about it; it does prove one thing, and that is we actually read the story and didn't just skim through it. I really think Woody threw it in to get our attention.

Excellent story. I enjoyed that way that you built the story. It had a beginning, a middle, but the ending, I would have loved to know Bobbie's reaction to having her parents back in her life.

I've seen this plot before but don't pick too much on that first comment... In this world very few hasn't already been done once. You told that story in a unique and believable way (twisted the intro and second baby scene in a Tarantino's time loop... Dive into the past). Yet you successfully made it smoothly and acurately. It was refreshing with "the tone" you character tells the story : without too much struggling with words... Like the vocabulary of a friend would tell you. "Truth doesn't need nor see the need to bother itseft with too much dressing or makeup !"

What make it stand amongst other stories, is yes, originality ! What makes it original is differences from the common... Those who seem to despise happy endings, probably forgot why they did at first.... Some call it "Un film a l'américaine" pour dire cheesy When you see a Hero with a Capital H alone against the world and triumph with the flag clacking in the wind behing... You know what I meanm we all have seen this too much... because it is too much in the pink... That's not the case here and not just because there were no mention of a flag ;). No you made that a believable human experience, because the narator/husbnd made it sound all about what's is going on in its couple and family. We feel that he believe than even it surely happens everyday in other people's lives, but that doesn't paint it any less than gifted life.

At last, I agree with the previous comment that it would have been great to extend the story a little to see the reaction of the wife seing her parents there!

Sorry to be Anonymous and for the rambling... but I don't have an account here, though I might get one some day. Good work !

Full marks and nice.

Very well written, with something for everyone. "I'll beat you so bad your father will hurt" is my favorite line.

A story where nobody cheated, and a happy ending. I loved it. Five Stars.

Thank you. What more needs to be said.

A story.no one should be able to complain about. Bobbie reminds me of my wife with the language skills and martial arts training. Great story.

I liked this one, it felt very laid back and drifted along very pleasantly until the denoument. Way to go.

Thank you, sir

Bobbies parents didn't hesitate to kick their daughter out of their life the INSTANT she told them she was pregnant! She was immediately accepted by Charleys family, and they married right away. Charleys father reached out to the soon to be in-laws to open the lines of communication, and was shut down. I'm sorry, but at that point, the in-laws are done! You'll have to beg to EVER talk, let alone see your daughter ever again, and I wouldn't allow you to meet your grandchildren, period! Forgiveness has a time limit, and Charley dropped the ball going to those ASSHOLES to drag them into the grandkids' life. The whole family would be better off without that self-righteous negative energy. And I'm not talking about meeting negative energy with more negative energy, you simply cut negative energy and people out of your life, you WILL NOT miss them!

Bobbies parents didn't hesitate to kick their daughter out of their life the INSTANT she told them she was pregnant! She was immediately accepted by Charleys family, and they married right away. Charleys father reached out to the soon to be in-laws to open the lines of communication, and was shut down. I'm sorry, but at that point, the in-laws are done! You'll have to beg to EVER talk, let alone see your daughter ever again, and I wouldn't allow you to meet your grandchildren, period! Forgiveness has a time limit, and Charley dropped the ball going to those ASSHOLES to drag them into the grandkids' life. The whole family would be better off without that self-righteous negative energy. And I'm not talking about meeting negative energy with more negative energy, you simply cut negative energy and people out of your life, you WILL NOT miss them!

but I took the "cardinal knowledge" as the joke it was intended to be. When I was in HS, back in the stone ages, all in the family was still on the air. The phrase "cardinal knowledge" became a euphemism for sex. Sure it didn't last bu5 a few years and was probably very regional but it made me chuckle. I guess those who didn't get it were just too young to have seen it.🤷🏼‍♂️. Enjoyed the story and gave it 5*.

For the life of me, I can’t understand why an author who goes to all of the trouble to write a story can’t be bothered to proofread it. This thing is absolutely rife with word errors which greatly reduce readability. This is a good story which deserves better treatment.

Wish Charley let Bobbie work it with Jack. She did a good job by kicking his ass so let her finish it.

Damn good.

This was a nice little story, definitely a worthy 4. I'm glad that Wolf_Man_1962 pointed (see his comment below) that "cardinal knowledge" was a thing, since I did assume it was one of many typos (e.g. "here" instead of "hear"). Those sort of mistakes are very common on this site, and I've said this umpteen times, so now make it umpteen plus one, but this is all because writers (and, shockingly, their editors!) rely exclusively on computer editing programs. Which miss things like "here" and "hear" - there is no substitute for printing out the story and going over it with eyeballs. Anyway, although the LW category usually concerns marital irregularity (i.e., cheating wives), the nomenclature should (and does) allow for actual Loving Wives to be featured once in a while. This author has done do very nicely here. Or should I say "hear."

Just a suggestion. Get a good editor, to make a great story even better. 5*s.

Good story

Not my usual reading material, but I really liked this story. 5/5

That’s a great love story!!!!⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

If Bobbie's parents are fucked up enough to abandon their daughter when she needed them most, they are certainly not appropriate influence for grandchildren. That Bobbie's husband had to make the effort and they STILL did nothing, is evidence they are entitled, narcissistic, self righteous douchbags who will always seek to impose their will upon others. There are so many people exactly like that in the world. The last thing anyone needs is apologists excusing their bullshit.

I can understand Bobbie acting aloof with her husband but not with her kid.

I like it! 5*****! We all need an honest love story every now and then.

Surprise! A love story in LW. Who would have thought? Thank you.

Hooked

So the reason for her terrible behaviour towards her husband and - worse - her son was because her boss was making moves on her and she wanted to handle the situation herself. Sorry but that's dumb as fuck. She could still handle it herself while confiding in her husband. Not the first story I've seen where this happens but it does follow the same pattern sadly and is equally asinine in that regard.

Bobbie's parents seem like closed-minded idiots from a long-lost century. Who the hell treats their daughter like that simply because she got drunk and had sex with someone? I mean at least in the end they were made to see sense, but I doubt they've changed their core personality much. Despicable really. They should have been left out of her life. If they wanted to be a part of it they should have come grovelling back on their own; not because someone asked them to.

There was a missed opportunity to say, "hit the road, Jack, and don't you come back." :)

Also at the end he says Bobbie had turned herself into a beautiful woman (and more). I argue that she always was; it just took him some time and growth to see that.

Overall, a good read and a nice happy ending. Always nice to see actual loving wives (and husbands) in the LW category.

Apart from some spelling mistakes you write fantastic realistic stories thank you

Not bad. Not bad at all.