All Comments on 'Give it a Try, Don't Be Shy'

by alexcarr

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AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
More Work Needed

The author needs to ponder what makes an erotic story interesting. What was David's role in this tale (other than being a distraction in the sex scenes)?

The editing and proofreading was so bad that it detracted significantly from the flow. What WAS Ursula wearing in the first scene? Why did Jason's name change in the middle? And on and on...

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