by drowninginreality
I almost liked this story but I found the way it jumped back and forth between three or more time lines very annoying and disjointed. I will admit to not being terribly find of flashbacks, in general, so it could be me. You did make sure we knew which timeline we were in, which was nice, but by the middle, I was skipping passages dealing with the past and only reading the 2012 sections.
Flashback style worked great for me. Impressed by the way you worked the settled relationship problems that can happen, not many stories go there. A bit more sex would have been nice, but a good debut all in all. Congratulations.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? That was EXCELLENT!! I don’t get how others would find it disjointing, I think you did a great job moving between timelines. This isn’t a stroke story, it’s a love story and you did very well in showing us that loving, long term relationships take work. Looking forward to seeing what you’ll have for us next!
Ok, first off, the flashback thing was totally awesome, though some may not find it appealing. In this story it worked. Also, your underlying idea, hopefully, will make all of us take a second glance at the person across the table and remember why they are there. Each day is a gift just ask some of us who one day just forgot to say I love you because they were late for work, only never to have that opportunity ever again.. fate and destiny can be cruel bedfellows for many, many years.
I enjoyed reading your story. It was engaging and I found the flashback technique worked really well. It especially helped give more depth to your characters, and made their love story even more poignant. It eminded me of that song, you never know what you've got til it's gone..., and fortunately Aaron and Andrew got it back. Thank you!
That was honestly the only quality story I have ever found here. It was truly an opus. It was gripping and romantic and very well composed. You are a superb author and I thank you for such a heart-warming story in a very long time.
Quality without over-dramatism, a realistic relationship, warts and all.
This belongs in a book. I'm not even fond of this type of story and I loved it, the way it was written. It had meaning that applies to every kind of couple, heterosexual, gay, lesbian, whatever. This happens to every kind of couple, and the moral of the story is beautiful.
i love the way the story goes from present to past and back to present again. you were really playing with my emotions! in a good way, i mean :)) the characters are really well-developed and the pace is just right. i'd never felt the need to skip any part (like i do with so many other stories) and i marvel at how your ideas just flow so smoothly without any hint of exaggeration. and very importantly, there are no grammar and spelling errors (at least i think there wasn't :p) to detract me from the joy of reading!
Just amazing this story. I loved every word. Can't wait for your next anything!!
This IS a short play. A short film. A movie.
Seriously dude,you should write a screenplay!
I was apprehensive to begin reading, I tend to read the same authors all the time. But...after finishing this im so glad I did read on it was beautiful and real. Hope you write and submit more, your writing is a pleasure to read.
This story was very nice. I really really really enjoyed it. I like how you were showing us different times or "Glimpses"(LOL) of their relationship. Showing us the current drama while building the background that got them there. Drama was very realistic, a lot of people fall into those ruts after years and a lot of divorces stem from that.
The characters were well developed and realistic. I like how Aaron slowly became a romantic,lol
Also, showing us the future where they are happy and are going to be parents, was just an added bonus.
I hope you keep writing. You have a great talent.
:)
I cannot even tell you how many times I have read this story. It just gets better every time. I love it.
This is one of the best 'relationship' stories on Lit. A complete guide on how to lose your partner and get him back in 5 pages.
Beautifully written and stylised. Look forward to more.
I really, really, really hope that you write some more stories. I love this story so much. It is amazing! I would really love to read more of your writing.
You've infused just the right amount of romance, heartbreak, sarcasm and realism to make a perfect concoction of a story. Bravo !
Sounds way too much like reality and that makes it exceptional. It's a wonderful story and I love it.
Best story I have ever read on Lit. Just beautiful. Would love to read more of your writing.
this story, oh my.. I absolutely have no words for.I laughed, I cried, I fell in love.. and there has never been such perfect timing in my entire life (she called today for the first time in over a year coz I of course am too proud to admit any feelings whasoever).
I've read so many stories here from so many different and talented authors but this, this just cut right through.might I add I have never once commented but now? I feel I have no choice but to raise a glass to you because you literally put into words my love life (being a queer African girl who's 'in love' with the most amazing gorgeous woman but she just can't be held down as well).and so am hopeful that its possible if I just try even a little bit *shrug* plus you thawed this heart a little bit more :)
The telling was absolutely perfect too, concentrating on the love and not the sex.you should publish because I'd rather be broke after buying your book than not have it all.please come back?!
PS: I had a soundtrack to it if you ever think of making a movie, just saying :D SAFE by Britt Nicole worked perfectly for me.
Regards,
CC™
The fact that this story is so realistic makes it very different from most of the other ones on literotica. It's a nice read with a good message. I wouldn't recommend it though if you just wanna get off, since it has no detailed sex scene in it.
I can't even....its too great....my heart....omg, I loved it and my fucking tears are here to prove it. You're an amazing writer, this is an amazing story, that was an amazing way to show true love and the conflicts of relationships, I'm an idiot and I can barely snap back into reality because my mind is stuck with this story. All I can really say while still ending this with some sort of sense is Thank You and I may have found my inspiration for my first story on Literotica. Ah, its so solid in a way its hurts me emotionally. Go ahead, say what you want. :)
Why do you have only one story?? This was just wow!! Passionate, funny, realistic and well written.
You need to write more stories you are so good at it.
... is this your only story? It's so so great! Please let us know if you are a published author now and where to get your books. Or if you aren't, you really should think about publishing e-books... I'd buy every single story of yours!
Hope you'll come back to Literotica at some point. Either with a story, an updated profile to let us know how to read more of your works... or just a message here in the comments... :)
Thank you!
Thanks to the person who wrote a comment..decided to check it out and was very pleasantly surprised. It was a great story. Sweet and well-written. The changes from past to present were done really well and it flowed smoothly. That's something many authors fail at when trying to do it. So great job.
I love everything about this story, from the way it's told to the romance to the passion. It's wonderful and heartwarming; it's funny and heartrending; it's painful and wonderful! Well done!
I really liked this. Long term relationships are like this, the first spark, full flames, quiet embers. It takes work to keep love going, through the spectacular moments to the everyday.
I like this quote from your story " For them to have the everyday – the ordinary. He could live with that – he could live with routine because, for the first time, he wasn't looking at it as a routine.
Good job
I keep coming back to this story. Your voice in this makes me wonder if the story is true or partly true, especially as this is your only one. Even if it isn't true, bravo for making your readers care so much for Aaron and Andrew.
in all seriousness, do you have any idea of what a gifted writer you are? Whether or not your work is yet perfect, you definitely possess a gift for producing gay romantic literature of class. Your writing holds greats concepts... A strong foundation, great chemistry that doesn't have to contain filth,and lastly 'on the edge' of your seat suspense relationship drama. Super Ending. VERY impressed!! PLEASE KEEP contributing.
To me, the best thing is that you made me care. Each time, I was rooting for them. To get me to do that, you had to write well about characters that interested me. Thank you.
Absolutely beautiful I could truly feel their struggles and pain.
With the world being what it is....... Thanks for this beautiful story!!!!! Thanks for the hope. This was just lovely, it had alot of suspense, and u just made me care, for both of them. Awesome!!!!!
Can u write more stories? I literally re-read this every week. It's so beautiful, apt and lovely. No crazy threesomes or weird forging crap. Just normal crazy relationship stuff.
Your love story is engrossing and beautiful. It was made all the more so by the proper English used. Poor English will kill the best of plots. I pray you are well.
I love this story, and wish you would consider sharing another one with us.
This was truly a great story! True to life. So happy to see HEA and I’d love to read more stuff from you!
What a well written story. I enjoyed every minute of it. Andrew is so sweet and deserves all the love. Glad Aaron finally recognized what he came so close to losing.
Best story I've read on this site in the 7 years I've been reading. So well written with all the "concrete details" of life to make it feel real. Keep writing. Excellent work
I loved this so much. I still think Andrew should've left Aaron btw, especially when I go back and read his letter to Aaron. Andrew never felt secure in the relationship, feeling like Aaron would leave him inevitably. Also I got the feeling Aaron just wanted someone to worship him and he got that from Andrew while it wasn't reciprocated. I guess he realised reciprocity matters in the end but it feels hollow to me, like they're both settling.
WoW, that was fantastic. Absolutely loved it , felt it. All the emotions from happiness to sadness, tears and frustration but in the end, Aaron learned that you have to love your person one day at a time,
Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
I adore this story. It is written beautifully in a more realistic way in which relationships actually work. Andrew is such a sweetheart. Aaron’s clueless harshness came off as cruel. . But he truly loved Andrew and I’m glad he finally gained an insight into his actions before he lost him forever.
You are a skilled writer. I love stories that aren’t just about sex but have a romantic twist. I hated Aaron’s treatment of Andrew, a very sweet guy. However, your writing made it believable that Andrew truly loved Aaron and would forgive him. Aaron also came to see how deeply he loved Andrew. Kudos.
Had me sobbing from the beginning, so glad it was a happy ending, lovely work
A superb romantic story generating smiles and tears in this reader all the way through.
The situations and characters came across as real and believable making for a satisfying read.
Thank you for creating and sharing for our enjoyment
This amazing short story has been written in flashbacks. It starts with farewell note and continue with life chapters, since the moment Aaron and Andrew met. A lesson this story is teaching us is that often we take the people we love for granted. We let other, less important things become our priorities. We allow everyday routine to take the lead in our lives. This is the first story that outlines the negative effects of modern technology – mobile phones, ipods, iphones…social networks, massaging etc. which brings to alienation of the people. It was only in empty house, without presence of the love of his life, that Aaron understood mistake and neglect he made. And again, it was huge Andrew’s heart that took Aaron back after redemption.
It is sad that this is the only story author has published on this site. With such a talent, we could enjoy in more masterpieces.