tagIncest/TabooGood Intentions

Good Intentions

byXarth©

Author's Note: Thanks once again to LizHaze for editing. Also, this story takes a while to get to any sexy times, so be ye warned.



****



Part One: A Safe Place



It was kind of funny how it was only after we both moved out of our parents' house and into our own apartments that my sister and I bothered to purposefully spend any time with each other. Then again, there had never really been any point to it when we lived in the same house, since we could hardly help seeing each other on a regular basis anyway. If we ended up hanging out some night when we had nothing better to do, that was all fine and good, but neither of us actively sought it out. It was only when we were separated for a while that it became clear to me how much I missed having Anya around sometimes, and as far as I could tell it was more or less the same for her.

We never explicitly talked about it of course, there were some things that we just didn't need to say. Living together the better part of our lives meant we knew each other well enough not to have to explain certain things. It also meant Anya felt comfortable stopping by my apartment pretty much whenever without always warning me first and assuming it was okay. She was usually right, too; if I was home it generally meant I wasn't up to anything anyway, and I liked to try and be a good big brother when I could. It was one of the few things in life I felt I could manage pretty well most of the time and also didn't require a lot of effort. Mostly it was nothing more than listening and occasionally offering advice from when I'd been through similar experiences to her already.

Recently, the way I heard it, most of her problems were class related, as she was in year four of her university career and really getting tired of the workload. It was bad enough that one evening when she came over it seemed it was all she wanted to talk about.

"I mean, it's like I've got another paper to write as soon as I'm done with the last one," Anya told me. "I think their plan is just to kill me now that they have all my money."

"Heh, yeah could be," I said. "I'm surprised sometimes that anyone makes it through the education system. Like, any level of it."

We were sitting on my bed, ostensibly watching some show that Anya liked, but mostly I was listening to her complain. I only had a small apartment and the bed doubled as a couch for me, which was part of the reason I didn't often have people over and usually went to the other person's place if I was hanging out with someone. My sister being the major exception.

"And it's not even just my classes either," she continued. "Like every part of my life just feels like a mess, like there's always something I'm doing wrong, or something I need to do that I don't want to, or someone who's going to give me more stuff to do...." She stopped as she ran out of things to list off, then looked at me. "Seriously, if I didn't have you I swear I'd have gone crazy. This is like the one place where I have absolutely nothing that I need to worry about. No responsibilities. Even my roommate drives me insane sometimes and she's the best one I've ever had."

"That's the one good thing about this place, other that it being cheap as hell, is that it's all mine. No one to bug me," I said. "I know you're too busy to consider it right now, but living on your own might be something to think about."

"Mm-hm, it's something I do think about. But like you say, not right now. Maybe this summer of something. Until then, I'm just gonna have to hope you keep letting me come over and bitch about my life."

"What are brothers for? Actually, don't answer that."

"Aw, but I had a really clever smart-ass comeback," Anya said, faking a pout for a second. "Really though, I do appreciate it. Everything. Makes up for a lot of the shit you pulled when we were kids."

"You pulled your fair share of annoying stunts," I reminded her. "Don't pretend like it was all me."

"If you say so." She stood up and stretched, then looked at her watch. "Shit, it's later than I thought. I should probably head back to my place."

"Okay. Good night."

"Night," she replied, tossing me a casual wave before leaving.

I checked the time and discovered it was indeed getting late, and I was just tired enough to debate calling it a night. My desire for sleep won the brief mental argument and I set about getting out of my clothes and into a pair of pyjama pants. They were the sort of thing I wouldn't really want anyone to see me wearing, but, as I'd discovered, they were very comfortable and no one was going to see me while I slept anyway. Or so I thought.

I'd only just gotten changed when I heard a knock on my door. I had no idea who it could be, unless perhaps it was Anya and she'd forgotten something, though I didn't remember her bringing anything. Before I could make it to the door, it opened from the other side and I found it was indeed my sister.

"Hey," she said, looking a little embarrassed.

"Uh, hey. Forget something?"

"Sort of. Not exactly. I, um, locked my keys in my car. Not that it's a huge surprise, that's pretty much how my life's been going these days."

"So I've heard. What are you gonna do?"

"Well, my roommate knows where my spare car key is, so I guess probably get her to bring it over. Thing is, I'd rather do it in the morning than drag her over here this time of night. I don't think she'd be super pissed about it or anything, but... you know."

"Yeah I get it. You know I don't have, like, a spare bedroom or anything, right?"

"I know. You don't even have a main bedroom, let alone a spare. I guess I could probably just sleep on the floor if you give me a blanket."

"I dunno, it's not a great floor for sleeping on, even as far as floors go." I glanced toward my bed. "If it's not too weird, we could maybe share the bed."

Anya half-smiled. "I was kinda hoping you'd offer. Honestly, I wasn't looking forward to trying to sleep on the floor. Promise I'll try to stay on my side. And if I steal the blankets just kick me 'til I give 'em back."

"Deal."

I wasn't going to tell her, but I wasn't entirely certain I was completely comfortable with sharing my bed. It could be a perfectly innocent event between siblings, but it could also end up being much more awkward than that. I was just going to have to risk it, though, because I wasn't about to send my little sister away when she needed somewhere to crash for the night. Nor did I intend to make her try to sleep on the floor, which was both far harder and colder than I'd ever want to try getting through the night on.

It didn't take long for some my concern to seem justified. I'd climbed under the covers on my side of the bed, not quite realizing until I turned back to Anya that she probably wasn't going to want to sleep fully dressed. I was just in time to watch her pants slide down her legs before she stepped out of them. She had panties on but... how was I supposed to treat the sight before me as innocent? More to the point, I suppose, the act itself was innocent, but the thoughts it provoked in me were anything but.

It had been one of the more confusing points in my life when I'd first noticed that Anya was, for lack of a more eloquent phrase, hot. For a good chunk of our lives she'd just been my sister, her gender more a formality than anything of significance in my life. But things changed, and one of those things was her body. There came a time when even her older brother couldn't help but occasionally see a girl instead of any of the other things she was to me. This was one of those times.

"You know, it's often considered polite to look away when your sister's taking off her clothes," Anya said, having caught me staring. "At least until I get under the blanket."

"Sorry," I mumbled, averting my gaze too late to do much good. "Didn't expect you to...."

"To not sleep with all my clothes on? Yeah, I'm a rebel to convention alright."

Anya remembered to go turn off the light before crawling into bed beside me, and as she did I snuck another peek. I didn't really want to, the brother part of me didn't anyway, but I couldn't help it. Despite recognizing a moment ago that my sister possessed more physical charm than I would have liked, I could mostly ignore that knowledge until it was shoved in my face. Watching my underwear-clad sister's butt as she walked to the light switch, I could no more ignore my male instincts to appreciate the view than I could have ignored a fire alarm while hung over.

As soon as the light went off and the room went dark, part of my problem disappeared. And not far behind that a new, potentially bigger problem arose as Anya settled in beside me. My bed had always seemed plenty big enough when it was just me, but with her in it as well suddenly I wished it was just a little bigger. There was no way to ignore her presence even if we could somehow manage not to make contact. Every slight shift of the mattress reminded me she was there and much closer to naked than I liked.

"Okay, this is a little weird, isn't it?" Anya said eventually.

"Yeah."

"Sorry."

"It's fine. I'm sure we'll get through it somehow, we've gotten through worse."

"Mm-hm."

Awkward as it was, sleep eventually did creep up on me and dragged me away from my circling, unhelpful thoughts.

****

Immediately upon waking the next morning I knew I was in trouble. Anya was still asleep, or so I presumed even though I was facing away from her. I suspected that if she was awake she wouldn't have been using me as an extra-large teddy bear.

Opening my eyes was enough to confirm that it was, in fact, her arm that I felt draped around me, which suggested that what felt like her breasts pressing against my back were probably just that. Great. I hadn't really wanted to start my day with figuring out how to untangle myself from my little sister.

I had a couple of options, one of which was ignoring the problem and hoping it went away; this was also the front-runner according to the various parts of my body that didn't feel like moving yet. Another, perhaps better, option was to lift her arm as gently as I could and try to slip away without waking her. It was doable, but required a certain amount of coordination and luck, and I wasn't too confident that I had either of those on my side so early in the day.

Before I could commit to a course of action, the problem actually did go away, in a manner of speaking. Mostly it was just my need to do something that was eliminated as Anya woke up and rendered my plans useless.

"Guess I didn't keep on my side very well," she mumbled sleepily.

"Not really," I agreed.

"Sorry. You're very comfy though. Really warm."

"Good to know."

Anya forced herself out of bed and I rolled onto my back now that she was no longer blocking such a maneuver. I neglected to clue in before I did that she was still only in her bra and panties, and her body did some interesting things as she stretched.

"You're staring again," she said, pointing out a fact rather than necessarily accusing me.

"You're in your underwear again," I replied.

"So I am. Probably should fix that."

She gathered her previously discarded clothes from the night before and went to the bathroom. I stayed where I was and tried not to think about my sister. Easier said than done.

Sooner than I expected Anya came back out, fully dressed now much to my relief.

"Gotta go," she said. "I texted my roommate last night and apparently she texted me back probably like right before we woke up. She's gonna be here soon, or maybe she's here already, and I don't wanna make her wait."

"Yeah, no, don't want to do that. See ya."

"Bye. Thanks again for letting me crash here."

"No problem," I said, though I was really only talking to myself since Anya was already gone.

All in all I decided her spending the night hadn't gone that badly. I had a few new memories to repress, but no real damage done. Maybe it didn't count as a win, but at least it wasn't much of a loss.

****

It was about a week later when Anya next came over. It wasn't to see me though, she was just stopping by to use my shower before going back out. She did that sometimes since my place was quicker to get to from where her classes were than her place was. I'd picked on her before about getting an apartment so far away from campus, not that it was actually all that far in reality, but I knew for a fact she and her roommate were getting a really good deal on it for what it was so I didn't make fun of her too much.

When she finished her shower and came out of the bathroom, I almost thought I must be seeing things for a second. She didn't have her shirt on and I was uncomfortably reminded of not too long ago when I'd been in a similar situation of trying not to look like I was staring.

"My shirt got wet," she said, sounding resigned and a little embarrassed. "I didn't pull the curtain across quite right, and I guess I left my clothes too close." She pointed to the skirt she had on and I noticed that there was a wet patch on the hip. "Remember when I was complaining about my life being a bit of a mess right now? Well... yeah. Anyway, can I borrow a shirt or something?"

"Uh, yeah. Definitely." I jolted into action and rummaged through my shirts. "I don't think I've really got anything that'll fit well."

"I know, I am aware that we're not the same size," she said. "I just need something that can cover me. I don't even know if I'm gonna go out anymore. Don't really feel up to it, and my mind's clearly not there."

"You do seem a little tired."

"Mm-hm, up too late last night so I could a paper done."

Anya wasn't really into any of my shirts, and instead grabbed one of my hoodies to put on. I didn't know why exactly, but she looked good in it. Sometimes girls in oversized sweaters worked for me, and I never really understood where the appeal came from. Usually it was a case of the fewer clothes the better.

"It's just like you," she told me, referring the hoodie.

"What?"

"It's so snuggly. I don't know why I never got something like this for when I don't want to go anywhere."

"Great, so I'm snuggly now."

"Yep. Just like I told you last time when I spent the night and... well you know. I just used different words, but I thought about it and you were definitely snuggly."

I rolled my eyes and Anya giggled.

"So are you going home, or are you sticking around for a bit?" I asked.

"If it's okay, maybe I could stay for a little while? I'm crashing hard here, I might fall asleep while I'm driving if I leave now."

****

Anya wasn't kidding about the possibility of her falling asleep. It wasn't immediate, but a little later while we were sitting side by side on my bed I was in the middle of a semi-funny story when I felt her head land on my shoulder. At first I assumed it was her way of telling me the story wasn't that great, but she was genuinely out. It was probably funnier than my story would have been actually.

Without disturbing her too much I got her lying down more or less in the right direction and put a pillow under her head. I was going to leave it at that and just see how long she'd be before waking up, but I started thinking maybe I should try to get her a little more comfortable in case she was in for more than a quick nap. My hoodie was fine, it was pretty much just a heavy pyjama top, but her skirt seemed tight on her and I didn't think it would be good for her to be sleeping in it. I didn't really want to try removing it, but at the same time I'd already seen her shirtless that day, not to mention pantless too the week before. It wouldn't be anything new.

My internal debate was eventually settled by my sister when she shifted slightly in her sleep. It was probably my imagination more than anything, but to me it looked like she was being caused some annoyance by the skirt and was trying to wiggle into a more comfortable position.

A little hesitantly I reached for the zipper on the side of the skirt and pulled it down, releasing the tension around my sister's waist. That probably was sufficient all on its own really, but as long as I had started I kept going and pulled gently on her skirt to try and get it down her legs. I could always throw the blanket over her afterward and leave her to sleep with some privacy so I wasn't too worried about the brief flash of her panties I'd get. Hopefully she wouldn't mind it either.

What I didn't count on, and to be fair I'm not sure how I could have guessed, was that Anya wasn't wearing any panties. Instead of uncovering some relatively innocent bit of material, I found a very naked pussy. My little sister's pussy. I stood frozen for a second, then threw the blanket over her and finished tugging her skirt down underneath it without being able to see what I was doing.

I was fucked now, there was no way around it. I shouldn't have been messing with her, I should have just left her alone. If she was really that uncomfortable she'd wake up on her own, she didn't need me fumbling around trying to help. There was absolutely nothing I could do though, no way to get her skirt back on without looking and somehow I was pretty sure leaving it partway down was worse than taking it off completely. She'd know what I'd seen either way.

After that there was nothing to do but wait. I didn't feel right about going out somewhere and leaving Anya to wake up alone, much as part of me would rather not be there, so I spent most of the time messing around on my computer, doing anything I could to distract myself from the image of her naked lower half that seemed to have imprinted itself on my brain like the afterimage you get from looking at a bright light. It didn't help that her pussy was about as beautiful as the rest of her, and practically begged me to take another peek.

Overall my anxiety and dread made everything pass much slower, and by the time she finally woke up I'd thought about waking her up more than once and chickened out just as many times.

"Mmph, sorry. I guess I fell asleep on you," she said.

"Um, yeah you kinda did."

I waited for her to discover about her skirt, and even flinched when it looked like she was going to notice where I'd folded it up at the end of the bed, but she didn't. All she did roll over and continue lying where she was.

"Probably should get up," she said. "Don't wanna though."

"Right, um, okay," I said. "But listen, there's something I, uh, well there's something I did that I shouldn't have."

"What's that?" she asked, completely unconcerned in what it could be.

"I swear I was only trying to make you more comfortable, that's all, but I kinda... took your skirt off."

Anya sat bolt upright as she clued in to what I was getting at, and I noted that she made sure to hold the blanket around her and keep herself covered.

"So you saw...."

"Yeah, I saw. Sorry."

I tried to look as apologetic as I could, and I meant it too.

"It's okay. I think," she said. "Maybe. I don't know. I don't usually go without panties you know, but I had an accident earlier today. Spilled coffee on them. On the pants I had on too before you ask, the skirt belongs to a friend."

"Ah," I said.

"You couldn't have known, I know you wouldn't... you wouldn't do anything like that on purpose."

She tried to convince me, but she wouldn't look directly at me and I knew it wasn't all quite as alright as she tried to tell me.

"M'sorry," I repeated.

"It's fine. I just... I should go. I'm not mad, I promise, but I need to think."

I nodded and tried to find somewhere else to look while Anya put her skirt back on under the covers. She smiled unconvincingly as she left, but finally she was gone and I could get to the serious business of calling myself an idiot repeatedly and worrying about just how bad the damage was. My apartment was supposed to be her safe place, and I might have permanently fucked that up for her. Even if nothing else changed, we'd both always have to deal with that one memory of how I'd accidentally betrayed her trust while she slept. There was no way I could blame her if she didn't feel completely safe with me after that.

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