by DreamMaker12
The characters are so raw and brutal. It's really a savage world you built and I'm loving every word of it. Hope much more is in the making. Thank you! DW
But this is just plain abuse and rape. Its completely unbelievable how someone so determined to escape they try committing suicide, the next minute is "forgiving" and thinking her abuser needs "compassion" after another brutal beating and rape. Thought the whole thing was distasteful and that's saying something cause it takes a lot to turn me off. Not that other stories haven't as well but never before have I been compelled to comment. Anyway this is just my opinion and I realize to each his own but I'm just sayin...didn't like it at all!
Some awkward grammar is present (dangling participles and ending sentences with propositions), and the character development isn't believable. As another poster said; she was determined to escape, lots of bit words about being her own person--and then a flip 180-degrees after one beating where he even *told* her it would only bruise, not cut or leave welts. Too much fantasy in this fantasy.
The co-dependent attitude isn't to my taste for a fantasy of sexual release, but that's just me. However, you're describing Battered Woman Syndrome, but far too soon--she hasn't been through nearly enough to make it believable.
It's just like innocent pawn except Greywolfe is wayyy meaner and just plain abusive but I love Innocent pawn and will keep reading in hopes you shake it up.
Love it! The right mix of savagery, passion and emotions. I love how conflicted Greywolfe is about his feelings toward Andrea. I can not wait to read more!
I dislike this man. I want him to suffer just as bad as what he's been doing to his slave. Sadly, I may never know i my wish will come true. Great story, though!
It amazes me how many stories are started and just left. I know that we have busy periods occur in people's live, but there are a number of writers, like yourself, who start and then just disappear for months and years. There is more to this story, obviously. You should come back to this.
This story is disgusting. Imprisoning a woman and forcing her to do thinks against her will and then having her apologize for not wanting it is rape and this story is vile.
A horrible story! You are ruthless and the story is horrible- there is no hope for heroine! I feel sorry for you as a writer 0*/5. Not worthy of reader's time and emotions!
I disagree with the previous comment and whoever wrote it needs to find more constructive ways of expressing unnecessary anger. I hope the story continues, I want to know what happens next!