tagTranssexuals & CrossdressersGrowing up Feminine

Growing up Feminine

byClintdear©

Chapter One

By the time I graduated, I was really beginning to appreciate the fact that I was attracting men now. I was interested in them too, but wary since not all of them were interested in me. Since I was only 5'4" and 110 lbs., they were much bigger than me, and there was always some odd urgency about them that warned me to be careful around them if they started displaying a sexual interest in me. I knew my size made me vulnerable. To what I wasn't sure, but I knew it had something to do with their fascination with my butt and them wanting to sticking their dicks in me.

All of my life I've only seen men as scary creatures that I was nervously aroused by and attracted, but really had nothing in common with except a sexual attraction. They were boastful and competitive and always showing off for me, yet one on one they were very nice and sweet and kind, even if they were a little "touchy-feeley".

I was quiet and shy, and aware of how vulnerable I was in their presence should they decide to force themselves on me. Not all of the guys scared me. Some made me feel warm inside when they would put an arm around me and call me things like honey and sweetheart. When a guy I liked wanted to pull me close for a hug, rather than feel repelled, I reacted passively and offered no resistance, and looked forward to the chance to furtively inhale their arousing masculine scents. I loved to put my head against their chests and listen to their strong heartbeats as I smiled inwardly at the feeling of their firm arms around me as I innocently pressed against their hardness so desperately seeking to plant it's seed. The pheromones given off by men as I was enveloped by their arms always seemed to get my heart racing and make me feel intensely sexual. I decided it was high time to find a boyfriend.

There was one special guy named Martin who treated me a little better than the rest, who touched me a little more, and who always had a little more time for me. He was different. He was always discrete and careful not to embarrass me. He was a little older than the others and I grew to feel safe as he gradually began to touch me more sexually. He didn't rush things, he just let me get used to his touches a little at a time. He always gave my girly little bottom a pat and a rub whenever he was within reach of me.

At first I didn't know how to take it but as time passed, I got used to it and began to look forward to his touch and would smile and unconsciously move my hips back into his caress in a welcoming gesture. The more he paid attention to me the more I began to get aroused, and the more comfortable I became letting him touch me. Soon, I found myself looking forward to his touches so much that when he was near, I would get all fidgety and giggly, and would start acting silly. I would swoon like a puppy as I felt my face flushing and my nipples hardening as his hand caressed my stomach as he came up from behind me and gave me a hug, pushing his hardness against my girly bottom as he made me shiver with a kiss on my neck.

I enjoyed letting him have the privilege of allowing his hands to wander up to the bottom of my breasts. I could not resist encouraging his interest by gently pushing my rear into his hardness, unconsciously presenting my boy pussy to him. Martin was definitely in touch with my feelings and was teaching me to be in touch with mine, too. Little did I know my lust for his attention was natures way of me letting him prepare my fields for planting when the time came. When I was in bed I'd close my eyes and rub my sensitive flesh and nipples, gasping to the eroticism of my selfish embrace as I dreamed of Martin touching and kissing me all over as I imagined us in the moonlight lying on some deserted tropical beach.

When he finally took me into his arms for my first kiss, I was excited to feel his hardness pressing into me as his hands found my bottom and glided up under my shirt to caress my bare flesh as he nibbled on my earlobes causing me to shiver with desire. Suddenly, for the first time in my life a man's lips were brought to mine, and as we kissed deeper I eagerly allowed his tongue to enter my mouth as if to foretell the surrender to come. It was incredibly erotic to swim in the lustful feelings of sexuality and hope! It wasn't long before we were letting our shirts ride up so we could feel each others bare flesh touching as he slipped his hands into my panties to caress my feminine buttocks, causing me to moan and gyrate my hips with encouragement.

I knew he was fighting the urge to feel my bra-less breasts against his chest, the silly boy. I wished I knew how to tell him it was OK. Everything Martin wanted to do was ok.

Finding places to make out soon became the order of the day since we both had roommates, but his house was the easiest. Each time we would make out I would get bolder and braver as my passion loosened up my inhibitions. One time on the couch he coached me up so I could straddle his lap so our hard cocks could rub together through our clothes as I rocked back and forth on his lap. Finally, I decided to make my move and lifted my top up just enough to aim a nipple into his mouth. Almost as if he had been doing it all of his life, he began sucking and licking my swollen nipples, first one then the other. I was in heaven. From then on, every time we found ourselves on the couch making out, I would move up to his lap and he would be right there sucking my nipples.

As we did it more and more often, my nipples began to get super sensitive, and more connected to a tingling tickle going on deep inside my body that each time became a little stronger than the last. Finally, one time as we rocked back and forth over each other while Martin was sucking on them, the tingling didn't level off – it kept increasing in intensity and my milk began to flow! I was afraid of what Martin would think, but he soon showed me he was loving it and was loving what it was doing to me! I kept rocking back and forth with more and more urgency, feeling the ecstasy within me build as Martin kept up his suckling as the tingling coursing though my body increased in intensity until finally I reached a sudden, unexpected climax and cried out in shameless ecstasy as my body began to spasm as if I was being vibrated and tickled by a thousand feathers. It was nothing like any orgasm I ever had. It stayed with me and continued in gentle waves like an electric current flowing from my toes to the top of my head and back again, tapering off to a lingering, ticklish throbbing deep inside my pelvis.

As my orgasmic glow slowly tapered off, Martin whispered sweetly to me to how much he needed me, and how sore is testicles were, but not being a nurse or knowing how to treat pain, I just kept kissing him as he gradually went back to being my normal loving Martin as I selfishly enjoyed my new special orgasm.

By then, I had fully accepted my feminine traits as part of my sexual identity as I found my trysts with Martin so enticingly natural. It was still confusing to me since I didn't visualize our relationship in terms of male and male, but rather female and male. I knew I was falling in love, but in my mind the future of our sexual escapades was murky at best. I had a pretty good idea that he wanted a blow job, and I was eager to find the courage to do that for him if I only knew how to begin. I knew about other things that could be done, but even though the idea of carrying his seed appealed to me and seemed quite natural, it seemed like too big of step even though I found myself warmly smiling when I thought about it, even though the mechanics of it were terrifying!



One day when Martin's roommate was gone for the week, we managed to be alone in his apartment and we began to make out on the couch. It was nervously exciting, yet scary knowing that we weren't going to be disturbed. As I glided back into the warm ecstasy of lust, I kissed and tongued my lover's mouth. He began to rub my clitty and tease the nipples on my girly breasts hidden under the teasingly thin t shirt I wore just for the occasion. As I got more excited, he guided my hand to his bulge and with his hand still on top of mine, began to show me how to rub his thick shaft as his soft hands glided back under my shirt to stroke my tender nipples gently with his fingertips.

As I got more confident rubbing the bulge in his pants, he put his hand over mine again and guided it to the top of his trousers. He manipulated my fingers to release the top button of his pants, and then slowly taught my fingers to grasp the zipper, and pull it downward never breaking our kiss. Keeping my hand in his, he brought it back up and slipped it under his boxers and rested it on his naked cock as he lifted me up and pulled his pants the rest of the way off, leaving him naked from the waist down. We had never gone this far before! His cock felt a lot like mine, but was much bigger. I didn't feel too scared, since I had one too - smaller, but one none the less. I began to stoke him up and down like I'd done to myself a few times, but then he kept steady downward pressure on my shoulders working me gently down to the floor, encouraging me to "Give it a little kiss".

Soon, I found my self in unfamiliar territory, but eager to obey his commands as he told me to lick up and down the shaft "Just a little, just for me, Honey.", as he lifted my shirt off exposing my entire upper body for the first time - I felt nearly naked, and enticingly vulnerable under his erotic spell. As I knelt between his legs I grew more excited feeling the sensuous tickling of my naked breasts against his hairy legs as he ran his fingers through my longish hair. I tentatively licked the shaft like he wanted, but soon my natural instincts took over and I found myself shivering with lust, eager to do what he was expecting of me!

As I began licking the underside of his cock I was intrigued by the silky texture as I dragged my tongue all around the head imagining it was my special ice cream cone. With a little more encouragement from Martin, I slowly took him partway into my mouth and began to savor my first cock. I had never felt such an affirmation of my sexuality as my absolute power over him became evident as his breathing got more and more ragged, and my thoughts spun with dreams of relationship and unselfish devotion to his every need. I instinctively varied my technique as I sensuously rubbed my hands over his legs and chest, and gently rolled his nipples between my fingers to let him know that I was an eager lover willing to give back. As I got more excited I took more and more of him in my mouth until I took all I could take, and then slowly began to withdraw and begin a rhythm as his hips thrust gently to meet me. The feeling of his cock dragging in and out of my mouth let me know with out a doubt what I had been missing all of my short life. All I wanted in return was for him to love me back. If he would do that, I would walk across hot coals to please him.

Instinctively knowing that I had this one chance to drive all of the competition away, leaving him wanting only me to love, I kept him on the edge until he could take no more and was begging me for release as I kept his body stimulated using gentle, ticklish stokes over his flesh and gently pinching his nipples. He was breathing deeply with his mouth open to an imaginary sky as his body began to get more rigid and his toes began to clench and unclench in rhythm to his "Ahh, ahh, ohh Honey..." cries for relief. Using my newly trained lips and tongue, I soon gently teased him past the point of no return as I finally experienced the wonderful feeling of his orgasm pulsing in my mouth. As his liquids pulsed into me, I washed them throughout my mouth, bonding with his special flavor as I continued to coax out the final twitching droplets with my lips and tongue as I allowed his nectar to begin it's passage down my throat. He continued his shallow thrusting as I milked him with my lips sending any remaining remnants from his body into mine. I held him in my mouth until the last tiny twitches were gone and he was fully satiated.

I scooted up to be close to him, to cuddle him, as I tingled with an overwhelming sense of sensuality and achievement that I didn't want to experience alone. I needed him to warm to my unselfish down payment on our relationship by holding me tightly and loving me as I experienced a unique and special feeling I had never before experienced. He did not disappoint me.

Chapter Two

My first sexual experience was a watershed moment for me. For the first time since I was a child, I felt free. I began to look forward to shopping again. I've found that women's shorts are the best for me because they fit nice and make my ass look nice. I became acutely aware of my body and how I looked to others, especially Martin. I have a really small cock and balls size of marbles, so a "bulge" isn't a problem. I wear the tops I want that still allow me to hide my overactive nipples without wearing a bra. I can completely fill out a "B" cup now, and am wondering if a "C" is on the horizon. When aroused or chilled, I really have to be discreet as my nipples grow to the size of olives and are nearly impossible to hide.

I've become aware of my femininity and the effect it has on guys. I enjoy having the ability to tease when I'm feeling flirty and a little dirty, and I get thoroughly aroused when I sense that a man is finding me attractive and desirable. I was selfishly aware that I was blessed with a shapely 36-24-34 body that other women would die for, and I knew I didn't need to pursue a man - they would come to me, seeking my attention.

At home in private and unknown to Martin, I began to learn to dress as a woman should I decide to move and start over some day. It always felt "right", and I loved the sensuous feel of the fabrics on my sensitive skin. I have toned feminine hips, with buttocks tastefully padded with soft feminine tissue that undulates in that uniquely feminine way as I walk. Without a doubt, my body is soft and pliable and cushioned for the comfort of a hard man's body.

The idea that men notice me has begun to really turn me on. I go out of my way to give them a little tease with a wiggle and a sexy smile that makes men melt. I want them to want what they know Martin is getting, and I want them to know that I'm a sexy and sexual person and maybe even available. It's all I can do to not lick my lips when my nipples have betrayed me and I'm caught looking at a cute guys crotch. I love to make sure I leave a handsome guy with the feeling that if maybe he wasn't so shy, he would have had a chance with me if he would only have had the courage to try! I selfishly hope he'll be thinking of me as his hands seek their dirty pleasures under the covers tonight! But soon my thoughts return to Martin and my real world responsibilities as I visualize that he is waiting impatiently for me with a restless load of busy sperm for his sweetie, jerking my sexual thoughts from fantasy to serious thoughts indeed as I smile knowing that I want to hurry to be there for him in case he desires relief. I smiled inwardly as I imagine the feel of him pulsing his seed into my mouth again, as I wickedly wonder if my shy cutie pie I passed in the mall would be as sweet as Martin if I gave him the chance.

The following Sunday, Martin asked me if I'd like to go to a matinee movie with him. When I accepted he asked me to wear something sexy for him! I was nervously wondering how far I dared to go. He never really took me out in public before. I understood and accepted it as the way it was to be. I just felt so powerless and intrigued at the same time as I smiled and accepted a "date" with him.

I wore a pair of thin white shorts with blue thong undies so that my pink nakedness underneath would radiate though a little, and a pale off-white pull over blouse that would allow my nipples to show. I wore a long sweater so I could just show off to Martin and not the whole world.

As we watched the movie in the darkened theater, he took my hand and kissed it gently. My heart was beating out of my chest with the delirious effects of sexual conditioning as he gathered me in his arms and kissed me as his other hand slipped down and rubbed my tiny erection through the thin fabric of my shorts. His purposeful fondling made me aware of how much I craved the caring touch of my lover as my hips rhythmically sought the comfort of his hand. Throwing all caution and propriety aside, I let myself become lost in the gentle caress of a thousand tickling feathers as I held him tightly, his lips sealed against mine as he led me slowly over the edge into the climbing vortex of the beginning of my orgasm. He kept his lips on mine and massaged my little cock as the familiar electric feeling enveloped my body until it slowly peaked leaving me breathless with emotion, and then gently begin to receded as my meager juices slowly trickled out into my panties. As I began to come back down to Earth, he gently broke our kiss and nuzzled my neck as he thanked me for being so sweet. I was in heaven!

We decided it was time to leave so I could get cleaned up. Even though I only let out a tiny bit of boy juice, I was still buzzing with sexuality and was too restless to watch a movie. It felt a little strange, but Martin seemed to not want to let go of me. There wasn't any time that he wasn't touching me, and I loved that. His hands seemed to be unable to leave my girly bottom as he kept me constantly aroused with his gentle caresses. He even seemed to sense that I wouldn't object to his hand slipping into my panties so his hand was on my bare butt cheek for everyone in the lobby to see. Even though I worried that things were moving to some murky crescendo, I invited him into my apartment so I could change.

I had never had Martin come home with me since we always were at his place. There were panties drying in the shower. There was makeup on the bathroom counter. I felt "busted" even though he had to know. I guess it's all part of "coming out" to your lover.

I felt awkward at first, but then he broke the ice by hugging me tightly again and kissing me. When I asked him if what he saw was bothering him, he asked me if he could tell me a secret. He shared with me that he was attracted to me because of my femininity, and that gay guys and regular girls just "didn't do it for him" and that I was the first person he'd met who had all the puzzle pieces that he had been looking for. He confessed that up until now he really didn't know what to do with his feelings toward me. The idea that "gay guys and regular girls" didn't do it for him opened up immense possibilities as I smiled inside.

"Come on, girlfriend, how about dressing up pretty for me?" he asked, answering my question as to where I fit in with him.

As I wondered if this was too big of a move, the words slipped out of my mouth as I replied, "What would you like me to wear? I don't think I want to go anywhere and get in trouble."

"How about a nice sexy outfit just for us, or maybe just surprise me?" He replied.

"I'll think of something you might like." I said as I reached down and rubbed the bulge in his pants, reminding him that maybe I would give him some relief, since he was so kind to me in the theater.

"I'll be back in a few minutes after I take a shower!" I replied.

I decided to be a delicious tease. I took a quick shower and re shaved my legs and underarms. Next, I started with a pair of lacy white boyshort panties that would keep me in, followed with a short white tennis skirt and a thin white see though blouse with a snug band below my boobs to lift them up and out and accentuate my nipples, but had buttons so I could leave the top undone to show some "jiggle". I wanted to juggle being physically attractive as well as accessible. For make up I used light eye shadow and shimmery pink lipstick finished off with a quick spray of perfume. I slipped on a pair of red sandals with little jewels on the straps to show off my freshly painted piggies. For accents I added a ankle chain with charms, and a pink scrunchy in my longish hair to highlight the natural femininity of my angular facial features. I couldn't believe I was doing this but I felt like I was in the right mood at the right time to go all out, as I steeled myself to make my grand entrance!

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byClintdear© 10 comments/ 125496 views/ 42 favorites

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