All Comments on 'Hard Work'

by young_n_hard

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SlickTonySlickTonyabout 20 years ago
Room for Growth

Nice hot little basic scenario here, but the story would work better if it stuck to one POV. To have it start out from Bill's POV and then switch to Timmy's, and then, on top of that, have it turn out to be his dream, is too confusing. But don't quit.

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