Harri: Face the Slut Within Ch. 02

"No. We should ask each other hard questions." She took a long moment before answering. "I'm five years older than you, but I still loved you. We were like sisters and all I had at home were boys. And when you felt good? It was better than that. But then I went to college and I was young and horny and confused and ... I didn't know what I wanted out of the people in my life, the people I loved."

All this, in front of my face, and I never saw the people in front of me. "Are - are you telling me you're gay?"

"No." Jess shook her head quickly, maybe a little sharply. "No. I'll admit to ... curiosity," and she stared right at me, "but I prefer to lodge my affections in unobtainable places, in people who don't really notice I'm alive. It's ... safer."

"Thank you."

"Night, Harri," she said with a bit of a sigh.

I closed the door behind her, then lay in bed on my back, thinking over everything she'd said. I was so confused, but the one thing I was sure of was that Jess didn't think any differently of me now than she did before. To her I was still Harriet. Or Harri. I just had no idea what that particular person had meant to her over the years.

Falling asleep was almost impossible for me on any night. Everything was wrong. I couldn't lie on my stomach, because my breasts were in the way. On my back my ass pushed my hips up, reminding me even more what was wrong. On my side my thighs were too far apart. It was this fucking new body. Anger gave me something to focus on.

I got up to get a drink of water, but stopped at the bedroom's closed door. Was that moaning I heard on the other side? I leaned closer, straining to hear ... just heavy breathing. Jess was asleep. That was all.

The faint cry of, "Oh God, oh fuck," sent me scurrying back to bed, cheeks burning, to bury my head under the pillow. Too close. Only sluts cared what other people did alone at night.

I awoke hours later in a tangle of sheets and blankets. It was a dream that woke me ... what was it. Hands, everywhere, just touching me. Soft hands, strong hands, girl hands ... boy hands. I ground my hips into the pillow between my legs. Fuck. I wasn't breathing hard because of the dream, I was breathing hard because I was on fire. Fuck!

I had woken on the edge of an orgasm and I couldn't stop it. I didn't ... want to. I had one hand clutched at the center of my chest. It flattened out until my fingers found and lightly pinched my thick slut nipple. A soft, animal, grunt broke the silence. Above all else, I had to keep silent. Rule number one: if a tree falls in the forest and it doesn't make a sound, did it really fall?

My thighs were squeezing around the pillow. I kept grinding my ... my ... fuck I couldn't even think of the medical term now. I was so wet. I could feel it everywhere. I could feel the cold damp on my asshole. I pinched my nipple again, harder. I couldn't stop. I whispered, "Fuuuuuck," quite aloud. I don't know if it was a curse or a plea.

I snaked my other arm down and forced it between my thighs. I shivered at the touch of my own skin. It wasn't just ... down there. Anywhere I touched left me aching for more. I imagined hands around my waist pulling me down to - to what I couldn't visualize. I squeezed my whole breast, my other hand worming closer to my center. My shoulders shrugged the blanket back. It smelled like jungle under the covers, like horny teen slut pussy.

This had been happening more frequently, maybe once a week for the last two months. I was in control during the day, but at night? In my dreams? I couldn't stop, but I had to have something. My hand was almost there. I had this - this devil's bargain with myself. I always made it in these occasions, always promised myself that it was the last time, that next time I'd be stronger. If I stayed on the outside of my panties, it wouldn't really be like I was touching myself. I wasn't really touching ... skin. I could've been just readjusting my panties. That's all I was doing. Readjusting. I grasped that thought like a life preserver as my traitorous hand found home.

The entire crotch of my panties was soaked. I palmed my whole mound and my middle finger sunk into the cleft, started pushing into ... somewhere. My entire body clenched. A little higher ... almost ... the bone of my knuckle finally pressed into ... fireworks behind my eyes. Thighs, arms, ass - I froze on the outside. I couldn't breath, but inside, spasms, over and over, trying to grab onto something and hold it in me. Then ...

It was finished. I could breathe again. I rolled onto my back, covered in sweat, legs splayed, nightgown pooled around my waist. I slept for real.

Until I awoke in the exact same position, unsure where I was. Was I supposed to be going to the hospital today? Dad would kill me if I missed another appointment. I cracked my eyes open. Aunt Cathy's room. I jerked upright.

Jess was in the doorway like a deer in headlights. "I - I thought I'd wake you. I made breakfast."

She had on the shorts I'd left in the bathroom. They were looser on her, like she said, but no longer. I could see the curved back of her panties under the fringe.

I looked down past my flat stomach. My legs were split wide open and the crotch of my own panties was pressed in enough to outline a very clear, dainty slit. I snapped my legs shut and slid them under the covers.

"I -", but Jess was already gone.

She must know what I'd done. Maybe she didn't. I'd tossed and turned all night. Who's to say I didn't end up like that in my sleep? I knew she hadn't done any better last night. My stomach rumbled. "Screw it."

I hopped out of bed and tugged the nightgown over my hips. I was sticky with dried sweat, with dried - Last night wasn't my proudest moment, but I could admit I needed a shower. Out in the kitchen, Jess bustled around never quite looking at me.

"Pancakes, eh?" My stomach grumbled again.

Finally, she stopped fussing about. "You do like them, don't you? I thought -"

"Oh it'll be the perfect breakfast for a long day at work." I glanced at the clock. "Damn, is that the time? I can't believe I slept that long."

She slid a steaming plate onto the bar. I perched on the nearest stool. She glanced over at me and her eyes darted for an instant down to my chest. Mine did the same. I was in front of the window, in direct morning sunlight. The nightgown might as well have been transparent.

"I would have woken you earlier," she said, "but I got an email from the estate sale people in town. There's a downed tree and they can't make the pickup and delivery today."

I slumped. "We're stuck here?"

"No-no, we can still get to town. I need to go to town, actually. For," and she gestured down at herself and yesterday's clothes, "things."

This is why she'd been so nervous, not because she'd been staring at me. "It wasn't your fault. Obviously."

"I still feel bad. It'll push us back a day, it'll mean a long hard couple of days to finish on time. I know this isn't exactly what you signed up for."

"Maybe not. But I'm still up for it. It's a bump, but we can get back up to speed. What're sisters for?"

That cheered her up. "I'm so glad. And ... I have to jump in the shower. You, too, I'd ... uh ... recommend. And if you don't want to stay here all day, you can come down to town with me. There's really nothing to do up here, but, I mean, I don't want to make you do anything."

I must have looked nervous.

"It's no pressure. It's just that you can. If you want to. I'd be right next to you the whole time."

"Maybe. You get into the shower and I'll seriously psych myself up for townies." I idly scratched myself and caught her staring. Fuck. My crotch. "Err, stubble." Fucking stubble.

"Don't forget to eat breakfast." Jess scampered off.

Pancakes did look good, but, four bites of the stack and I was stuffed. I was secretly relieved I no longer felt like I had to pack my face with anything in front of me. Don't tell my nutritionist! I looked around the room - Jess was being generous. There really was nothing to do up here than work, and without new boxes ...

Jess popped out of Aunt Cathy's hallway with a towel around her torso and another around her hair. "How was breakfast?"

"Good," I said. "Really good."

"Good!" She walked a few steps closer. "So, you want to come down to town with me?"

"Yeah. Yeah I think I do."

"Um ... since we can't do anything up here until they deliver tomorrow's boxes, would you mind if we planned to spend the night down there? I can drop you off back here instead, if you'd rather. No trouble."

I thought this was the plan - nights down in town. Did she think I didn't want to stay with her? What was she nervous about now? Who cared. I was riding high. "Sure, we can stay in town. Why not."

"Great! I'll get dressed and straighten up out here. You take a shower."

I padded over to Aunt Cathy's bathroom and was just about to pull off the nightgown when Jess swept past me.

"Just a sec." She scooped the dirty clothes of the floor.

I saw her hand touch the thong I wore yesterday. "I -"

"No-no." Her nose wrinkled, like she caught a whiff of - "I'll be out of your hair."