All Comments on 'He-wolf'

Possibilities are endless. Best of luck creating. Let us know when next chapter is available. Definitely could see them going on to college in main stream together.

The characters are story are all good. Very basic and could work in many ways, I like the pacing of the story and the interactions and look forward to reading more. As to ideas, it's a bit early for that and I hesitate to make plot suggestions to authors.

I did catch a few minor errors, mostly in the beginning, where Jagger goes to Bruce's room. The sixth paragraph begins "I said..." but Jagger doesn't say anything. Then you write "Bruce was like his older brother" when the story is being told in first person. There might be others.

Do you have an outline of where you want to take the characters & plot? I like stories where the people in it make sense & have a purpose. On the otherhand, this is a gay werewolf story. This is your baby, go for it! Enjoyed the start. Look forward to your new chapters.

great start, a little character development, which i hope is in the next few chapters, i hate when characters are presented to us on a platter, i want a build up, but i love the wolf laying a claim on whats his.

'Cause really, does it get any more fun than a gay werewolf love story? Perhaps more info on the wolf community, who they are, how they came to be there, social structure. Maybe flesh out the humans beyond the couple of gay guys vs a school of meathead jocks. ( as the mom of a well adjusted, friendly, accepting football player I do cringe at them always or only being the bad guys.) And what is up with Jagger's mom? Looking forward to where ever you take this.

Its a very good start and looking forward to the next chapter. I hope it has a very sexy erotic & romantic ending!

I felt like it has great potential, but some parts seemed really rushed and a little non senseical....

I don't know about you, but if I saw a wolf in the park, no matter how friendly I would not bring it home, no less into my bed. It seemed a bit odd how he almost automatically trusted the wolf.

The part of him getting chocked was really rushed. It almost passed in a whir, not to say that every event needs to be detailed, but you managed to have a fight scene, a rescue, and taking him home in one sentence.

Besides those two, I think it is excellent, sometimes it rushes but it has great potential :D

It wasn't perfect but I really liked it. I love werewolves so I knew I would like this story.

Good start. I think that putting the boy's name underlined when it switches their POV would be good if you continue to write it in the first person. I love the purple and blue stripes...didn't he think that was strange though? How would a wolf have that? This poor kid is getting kicked from all around so I hope his wolf can protect him. I only thought you should have mentioned his birthday b/c you had said in the beg. that he was 18 the next day and no one said happy b'day. I also understand him running to Alex after he saved him and after such a horrible thing. But, I have to wonder if he'd be a bit freaked that all of a sudden this kid is saying he belongs to him, etc. i hope he keeps him at his home. I hope you'll put some sense of Jagger being a bit blown away or react to

I gave you a four out of five stars. :) I really enjoyed your story. I felt that it was a bit rushed on some parts, though. I understand the need to get everything that is in your head out and onto paper before it disappears, but take your time. You have amazing potential as a writer, but remember to take a deep breath and slow down. :) If I may, what helps me is to make a rough, but understandable, outline of your story. That way, you have a plan and you know what you want to do but you are able to take your time without feeling like you have to hurry to write everything before you forget it all. One more thing, I agree with cannd in that I'm not sure Jagger should be so quick to let someone he barely knows claim him in such a fashion. Don't get me wrong, I want to see these two together; they have great chemistry. I'm only worried that they may be moving too fast. I apologize if this offends you. It is your story and, therefore, it is your right as the author to write it however you see fit. Like I said, I really, really liked your story and I can't wait for the next chapter. I even bookmarked you so that I can check back regularly! Good luck and have fun.

Nina

I really appreciate that you all have been so nice to me about my story there will be more chapter one is pending right now as a matter of fact there will be one new chapter at least every one or two weeks so no worries. ALSO cannd thank you for the advice i will talk to my editor about that thank you for the comment and also i will take emails about the 3rd or 4 chapter im still writing the 4th so i really need help with it if you have any comments please tell me my email is lucasboyhunter99@yahoo.com please help a bit ^,^

much love,

Luca wolf.

l

The paragraph that starts "After class ended" is hopelessly rushed. The flow of the story doesn't work, and various elements obviously need more explanation. Slow down, work for longer on each chapter before posting - make sure you get the flow right and know where you're going with the story before you put it out there.

Pretty good so far, although I agree slightly rushed in places.

And I approve of slower pace, too many werewolf stories are brief quick fixes, please keep it up.

Pun not intended.

Hey I thought that it was great but, I also am going to have to agree that it does seem a bit rushed in some places but, other than that one thing it is an amazing story to read and I can't wait for the next chapter

Loved it,can't. wait I need more now....much love steed

Good start. Looking forward for the next chapter.

HAPPY TO TELL YOU I MADE A FACE BOOK AND WILL BE POSTING DUE DATES ON THIS STORY ON THERE I WILL TALK TO ALL MY FANS AND TAKE IN THERE SUGGESTIONS WILL ASK FOR HELP AND WILL EVEN GIVE A FEW PEOPLE SNEAK PEEKS SO PLEASE ADD ME Luki Rhoads PLEASE DON'T BE AFRAID TO TALK TO ME I LOVE HAVING NEW FRIENDS PLEASE HELP ME WITH MY STORY IM BEGGING

I really liked your story except you kept switching pronouns around until I kept having to backtrack to find out who was saying what.

I thoroughly enjoyed it. It held my attention and that is sometimes hard to do. There might be a grammar error. But, that is of little consequence to me. We just STRONGLY need to encourage new authors who provide so much release for those of us out here who can only give our appreciation. Thanks for your time and effort.

LITTLE ONE, YOU HAVE A VERY GOOD STORY. PLEASE KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. ARE YOU REALLY LONELY ? I HOPE YOU FIND YOUR SPECIAL SOME ONE TOO. AS THE COUPLE IN YOUR STORY DID . GOOD LUCK !

I like the story line, the characters seemed OK, but its too touch and go,you need an editor and a pace needs to be set so its easy to follow.overall not too bad.

Loved it!!!!

Enjoying your story...Just one fault though, in my opinion...You are going too fast, you seem to be jumping from one guy to the other not letting us to get used to the HOT GUYS....In your favorites, you mention Robcub 32....Like you, I'm gay I have read his "TIMBER PACK CHRONICLES" many times...You notice he strings you along, teasing us about PARKER....SO FUCKING HOT. Don't know how many times i've nearly cum in my pants as I know whats coming...LOL...Please don't be offended, I'm not trying to put you off by what I have said...Did you use "PUP" from him as well, I like it....hope to get a reply from you, take care buddy and WRITE.......DEXTER......PS, the email is my late wife's address .

If you are just starting this series, please know that it is not finished. Very disappointing.