Healing

Or so I thought.

When I get out of the shower, I throw on my clothes and blow dry my hair. I'm looking good, even though it's the dead of winter and my skin resembles skim milk. I go on back to my room, humming to myself, ready to put on make up. I hear things banging around downstairs, and go out and look over the railing. There it is. A huge ass new dining room table. I just roll my eyes and go back to my room. Mom and her ostentatious décor.

I finish my make up, and I'd already decided to take some money from my stash jar so I can buy things if I find anything at the flea market. I fish around in my closet and grab the jar. Last count, I had about twenty-five hundred dollars. More than enough to get out of here, but I was waiting to see what was going to happen with Wade. Sort of. If he was going to ask me to move in with him, this money wasn't quite so important. I smiled a little, thinking about him. I was pretty sure I was in love with him.

My arm pulled out that big pickle jar, and I unscrewed the lid, lost in thought, a smile on my face while I thought about Wade. He really was a sweetheart. I stuck my hand down in the jar, and came up with empty air.

Air. That's all that was in my stash. It was like it was in slow motion- me looking down and realizing for real that it was empty. My brain started turning, thinking if mom had had any workers in the house, but no.. that wasn't it.. The only people in the house were the men delivering the dining room table....

The table.

I sat there, stunned, in disbelief that I was even thinking what I was thinking. Surely my mom wasn't that bad of a person...? Or maybe it was justified. Who knows. All I knew was, I was on my knees on the floor holding an empty pickle jar, when my mom walked past my room. She stopped in the doorway.

"That ought to teach you. Damaging people's property." Mom crossed her arms over her chest.

"You stole my money?"

"I did not steal it. I took it to pay for the table you damaged in your psychotic fit."

I can't even believe what's happening. My mind reels, trying to come up with an explanation for it all, when mom speaks again.

"Looks like you're not going anywhere now, does it? Which is better. I need you to watch the kids."

Mom disappeared around the corner in a whiff of perfume. I drop my head to my hands and I cry.

Wade gets there a while later, and I'm still where I was, on my knees on the floor. I'm not crying anymore, but I definitely look like I had been. His face is full of concern as he sits next to me and pulls me into his arms. His hand cups my cheek and he turns my face to his.

I briefly explain what happened. His jaw tightens. I'd spent so many years fighting, I'm tired of it. I don't have the energy or the strength. I drop my head and close my eyes, pretending today hasn't happened. Wade stands, and all of a sudden its clear that he's leaving. He doesn't want anything to do with this mess, and I can't blame him.

He walks out of the room, but its more like a stomp. I made him mad, and didn't mean to. I finally stand up too, in a daze. I am stuck, and I'm not sure how to fix it. I hear yelling, and for once it's not my dad. My head tips as I listen, and finally some words ring clear. It's Wade. Yelling at my mom. No one does that...

He storms back into the room and grabs my hand.

"Come on."

I follow, mostly because I'm still shocked and I'm having trouble thinking for myself. In the drive, I can hear my mom yelling from the steps, and Wade turns to me, taking my face in his hands again.

"I love you, and I'm gonna marry you. You don't have to put up with people treating you like that. I'm going to give you the choice to come with me, or to stay here. I don't think many people have given you much choice in your life. So this one is up to you." Wade opened his truck door.

I swallow hard and look at him, then at his truck, then back to my mom. I love her, and as misguided as she is, she's still my mom. But she never did treat me quite right. My eyes lift to Wade's, and I see the sincerity and the love there.

I climbed in the truck and he shut the door after me.

A few days after the blow up, I got back to Wade's house after work, and he was waiting for me with a dozen roses. I'd never gotten flowers before. He officially proposed, and slipped a ring on my finger. It felt weird, wearing an engagement ring again. This time though, it didn't feel like a shackle.

Wade caught me around the waist and kissed me. He'd snuck a few in on me before, but this one was different. I think all the months of him pestering me wore me down. I loved him. So I told him so. I already knew he loved me, and it was a nice feeling. Like being cold and stepping into the sun.

Wade led me into the bathroom, and the tub was full of hot water and bubbles. After kissing me again, he pulled the door shut behind him so I could take my nightly ritual. Tonight, I hurried. Tonight was the night. I washed my hair and my body, getting rid of that diner smell. I put on lotion that smelled like coconut, and drew my nightgown over my body. Taking a deep breath, I went into the bedroom.

Wade was sitting on the edge of the bed, and he looked up when the door opened. That boy had more love in his eyes than anyone had the right to have. And for some reason, it was directed at me. I think there was something to his religion...God had surely given me a second chance. Having that first awful marriage, then to be given Wade...it was a miracle.

I stepped in front of Wade and he pulled me down on top of him. We kissed for a bit, then he finally stood up and took off his clothes. He pushed my nightgown up, and I helped him pull it over my head. My body was still warm and pink from my bath, and Wade started at my knees, kissing and tasting.

He moved up between my legs, and he held my thighs open, swiping his tongue over me. No one had ever done that to me before, and I didn't quite know how to act. I settled for urging him upwards. He smiled as he kissed his way up my belly and onto my chest. My nipples were hard, sensitive, and he was so gentle with me.

Wade crawled between my legs, and for a split second I froze. I had to remind myself he wasn't my ex, and that I wanted it. And I did. He pressed his lips to mine as he slid himself inside me, and I cried out. He felt so good, and good wasn't a word I'd used in relation to sex in a long time.

Wade moved on top of me, kissing me, his hands running along my sides and hips, urging me up to him. I clutched at his back, clinging to his muscles as I climbed that peak towards release. My hands shifted through his hair, and he tore his mouth from mine. We stared into each others eyes, and Wade moved his hand down between us and rubbed me, and I bucked underneath him.

He flashed a smile and encouraged me to let go...so I did. I shuddered around him, and my fingernails dug into his back. His tempo increased and a moment later he jerked, giving himself to me. My arms dropped to the bed, and Wade's head dropped to my shoulder. We both lay there panting, trying to get our hearts to stop pounding.

After several long minutes, Wade lifted his head and propped his elbows up, cupping my face in his hands.

"I love you."

"I love you too." I gave him a shy smile. I meant it. It occurred to me that I didn't mean it years ago with my ex. That wasn't love. But this was.

I kept working at the diner, and I hadn't talked to my mom for a long time. Eventually my dad called me, and I told him the story. He was pissed at my mom, and he said he'd deal with her. I don't believe he really would.

The funny thing was though, I was at work, about ten minutes before my shift was over, and my dad walked through the door.

"Your mom isn't the easiest woman to live with."

"You're not telling me anything I don't know."

"She really did you dirty, Jet. I can't imagine what possessed her. I'd glad you left with Wade. He seems like a fine man."

"He is." At this point, we'd been married for six months, and I was seven months pregnant.

Dad slid an envelope across the counter.

"What's this?" I wiped my hands on my apron.

"What's rightfully yours." Dad stood up with a smile and walked away.

I saw Wade walking up to the door, and he and my dad shook hands. Dad took off, and Wade came in.

"That was weird." I came around the counter and Wade gave me a kiss.

"What was?"

"This." I held up the envelope.

I grabbed a knife off the counter and slid it under the flap, tearing it open. Inside was a check. For five thousand dollars. I about passed out right then. I rocked my ass back and sat on a stool.

My dad had included a note.

"You deserve all the good things life has to offer. I believe Wade is one of them. That baby is another. I'm sorry for what your mother did. This check is from her 'allowance' money, which I cut off the day you left. Enjoy it, baby girl. Good luck, and I love you."

I looked up at Wade, a startled laugh escaping from my throat.

"Well, I'll be damned."