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"Come Suzie dear, let's take a walk, just out there upon the beach." He said, and kissed her again.
"Okay. Let's walk, then." She answered in a whisper, giving in.
- COMMENTS
LegallySaneabout 3 years agoNah....
This story is way too dark. Couldn't read half of the first page. I'll pass.
Anonymousover 5 years agoFirst, being a 'Nam Vet' I wondered how this thug would get to Mic. I am retired, but remember my combat training to this day. But, it's your story so I will let that go. Your story is well written, but get a Lit Volunteer Editor or beta reader, since I found errors that should not have been. It did slow the story down a littke for me but not enough to quit reading a very good story. You pieced it together well and I think that you know family or someone who has lost to tragedies like this.
Anonymousalmost 9 years agoThank you for writing. What a great story, and as another reader said, Im wondering what white hallway means. Keep up the good work, keep on writing.
Anonymousabout 9 years agoAnd because it was so well written and had me questioning what on earth "white hallway" was, it gets a 5/5.
rightbankover 10 years agojust the relationship and his/their recovery. It is obviously linked to his repressed love for her and will only get better as she accepts her role in his life (and hers).
I am looking forward to learning the significance of the white hall.
ansdguyover 10 years agoI can't wait for chapter 2., in a couple of minutes now. I find the story line to be quite original and very entertaining. As far as the people complaining about the origins of Mickey, the violence and the one person asking if "White hall" will be explained in a future chapter? (Apparently they have never read a book). I don't know where these idiots come from, but I wish that they would stay there. There should be an intelligence test to pass in order to post comments. You just can't cure stupid, unfortunately.
Oleguyalmost 11 years agoAin't it weird that most of the negative commentators can only focus on a siblings loving name.
This story is outa sight.
