by frisky-leo
Unlike the other readers I caught on quickly that you were alternating between the two views and for me I found NO PROBLEM with that at all. If others do maybe. A spacer for them . I loved it! Thank you for your talent and time.
Good for Jared and Kayla. She has waited for several years as a camper to see Jared "in the flesh," He doesn't disappoint. He is a real sex machine of a man. He has all the trappings of a very sexy, well-built, muscular, manly man. Give that sexy young man some chest hair (he is 27), and hair for his abs, thighs, forearms, and cock. What a treat for Kayla! She will really enjoy this camp counselor experience.
The switching view was a little confusing, but the story overall was great. Can't wait to read more!
the switching from first person threw me off at times. I had to reread certain sections to see if I missed something. Your descriptions were nice and realistic. Keep up the good work.
The way Kayla executed her seduction of Jared--sort of planned, but also nervous and thrilled at her own power--was interesting and felt very realistic. Not to mention hot! However, the switching back and forth between Jared's and Kayla's points of view made things difficult to follow at times. I'd either stick to third person for the whole story, or perhaps use dividers to separate the different sections.