All Comments on 'Hot Coffee'

Not bad for a first effort. You shoud really read over your writing more critically before posting, though. You changed tense twice in the story (from past to present and then back to past). It was before going to the the club: past, At the club: present, and at her apartment: back to the past. It's confusing and makes one think that they have missed something along the way. It's also not good storytelling.

Further- most girls don't describe themselves as 'virile'. That's a guy thing.

Overall.. good premise for a story. Look forward to reading more of your work.

An okay effort but you're in bad need of an editor. Find one before you post any more.

I loved it, even though there were some mistakes in it.

I would prefer beign able to give you a 90% rate for that. Please continue this story!!! Mew

Wow, thanks for sharing this with us!