All Comments on 'Hot Summer Night Ch. 13'

Incredibly hot!

Maybe you could get someone to read this aloud to you so you could hear the missing words. Either that or wait a day or two after you write it, then read it aloud to yourself exactly as it is written.

Question: Why did you start this chapter with a scene of Mark and Carrie in the pizza joint that went nowhere? It made this chapter seem incomplete.

As I write these stories, based on old and new fantasies and some reality, thoughts come to mind. I jot them down at the beginning of the story I am working on. I implement the thoughts into the story or I copy the thoughts to the next one. I did not go back and reread this chapter like I usually do so the miscellaneous thoughts, misspelled words, incomplete sentences, etc did not get sanitized. I have been having trouble inserting .txt files. They come out as single sentence paragraphs so I went to downloading .doc files which you can't review before submitting. Again, my apologies for this subpar submittal.

Your stories are hot, but many are over the top with too many participants. This one was more believable.