- How To
- How to be the Perfect Wife
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How to Be the Perfect Wife
A Man’s Perspective
I am going to give you ladies a few pointers on how to be the perfect wife. I know I will probably get a bunch of hate mail but some things you just have to let slide.
Remember women we are men, Neanderthals to the core. We aren’t perfect like you, we are men and we are going to act like men most of the time.
First, and this is a hard one for a lot of ladies to understand but we are going to look at other women. So take it for what it is, a look. Don’t be smacking your guy just because a cute little tart or some sexy thing walks by and his eyes wander. It doesn’t mean he is going to run off with her and have a mad passionate affair. It is just a natural instinct to check out a member of the opposite sex.
Second, and this is a big one that has to be worked out between the couple but porn can bring a lot of trouble in a relationship. Men have been looking at porn since the first nude pictures were available. If you have a problem with it let him know about it. Another way to overcome this problem is to join him in watching or reading the material that turns him on. If the same thing doesn’t turn you on find something that does and then you can each treat each other to your fetishes.
Third, clothes on the floor. If your man is anything like me, then they have a real problem with leaving a trail of clothes after the workday throughout the house. Let me tell you ladies after a hard day we sometimes become retarded and don’t think that clearly. The first thought in my head is I have to get out of these fricking clothes. But when we do this don’t make an issue out of it like it is the end of the world. If you have a problem with it just hint or nicely say “Hey Hun you left your clothes on the floor.” Don’t be condescending and bitchy; be nice it will go a lot further.
Fourth, the dreaded toilet seat! You girls can’t even begin to understand what a pain in the ass it is to raise up the toilet seat time and time again. If he leaves it up then just put it down. You could just as easily put it up after you are done so your man doesn’t have too! And for you ladies that say you fell into the bowl and got wet ass, why the heck aren’t you looking before you sit down!
Fifth, sex, sex and more sex! Do you have a man that wants sex all the time? Do you have a man that doesn’t want sex as much as you? If you have a man that wants it all the time and you just aren’t in the mood don’t get pissed off if he wants relief. Let him jerk off right in front of you and don’t be put off about it (he could take his desires else where). If you have a man that doesn’t want it as much as you, then you can masturbate. I can assure you once a guy sees you masturbating it won’t take long before he is in the mood.
Sixth, if you are a homemaker and don’t have a job be just that. Take pride in your house and make it so your husband can bring over a guest at anytime and not be embarrassed at the state of the home. Keep it clean and he will appreciate your efforts. If you are a working woman then make a schedule between the two of you with duties each will do so that neither of you are feeling that you are doing more than the other. If you are not working it is always nice feeling for a man to come home to dinner on the stove. I know it sounds a bit Leave it to Beaver but trust me he will love ya for it!
Seventh, treat him with a nice unexpected gift from time to time. You know how much you like getting flowers or a card for no reason, well men like getting things too!
Eighth, dress up for him. You want to rock his world. Make a point when you know the kids are going to be out for a period of time to dress up extra sexy for him. Wear your sexiest out fit and serve him dinner. Go up to bed a little before him and have the candles lit and be on the bed in your favorite position waiting for him. We like surprises like that.
Remember we are only men. We are not mind readers. The blunter you are with us the more we will get what you are trying to say. So if you want a glass of water ask for the glass of water don’t sit there and play word games to see if we can figure it out!
I hope I didn’t insult any of you ladies these are just pointers to what this man and many more like me enjoy and want.
- COMMENTS
ham_sandwichover 9 years agoI'd add: Appreciate him. Smile and genuinely thank him every time he opens the door for you or helps you on with your coat. Also, we men don't talk about how much we love you as much as we should, because we believe our actions of going to work every day to provide for you should speak to that. We don't understand how insecure you are, or how much reassurance you need, so be patient with us! We're slow to learn, but we are teachable. Most of all, be committed to the relationship! Hang in there and make it work!
Anonymousover 10 years agoThat's common sense now not all women are like me... Bold blunt and beautiful. But all women are different (and I'm single) so I agree but it's my opinion
PTBzzzzabout 12 years agoIf he puts the seat up at least he will not be likely to pee on it. Ladies when you pee you splash too, lift the seat and see if there are drops all over the area where he has to put his hands to lift it.
I compromise, I throw the dirty clothes in a corner of the bedroom. That way they are not all over and I still get my way. Besides, if they are all over the house we guys can trip over them too.
Number 5 is so true. Try it.
heartofdixie1992about 12 years agoWhen I read this, as a married woman, the majority of the things you have said either aren't that big of a deal (toilet seat and looking at other women) or not too much to ask (dressing up, gifts, and cleaning). Women, be mature and understanding, and half of this stuff will fall into place. Don't sweat the small stuff. And good job at bringing this to women's attention. I know of TOO MANY wives that break many of these rules
Anonymousover 13 years agoI personally have no problems with the seat being left up in my house. My fiance and my kids no better than to leave it up, but I'm curious to know why it is that if it is soo hard and taxing to lift the seat, why don't Men try sitting down? leaves the seat down, the bladder is emptied, and the wife is happy. sounds like a plan to me. :)
Anonymousover 13 years agoI (a woman) don't take any issue with most of what you wrote, besides "you don't know how much of a pain it is." Actually, I can't see how it's a pain at all, and if it's really that difficult for you to lift the seat up before you pee, then you need to get yourself checked out. In my house we keep the toilet seat & lid closed at all times except when it's in use, therefore I have to lift up the lid before I pee...and I've never once felt it to be overly taxing in the slightest. It is simply routine. I really can't possibly fathom how lifting the seat could be so much worse.
Anonymousabout 15 years agoIt was a good one. Thanks buddy - women really do need to understand what men feel and what they think.
If some lady here could be kind enough to post something like "HOW TO BE A GOOD HUSBAND". I could surprize my lady my some changes in me.
Anonymousalmost 17 years agoI thought you did a good job of trying to explain to women how men think. The only thing I don't agree with is the toliet seat issue. Please don't groan at this. Both the seat and the lid should be closed after each use, no matter who is using it. Not for comfort, or ease or whatever, but because the lid is there for several reasons: (a)it makes the bathroom look neater; (b) toliets can be dirty and it contains germs, and (c) because it serves to protect young children and pets from accidently falling in.
Ike16948over 17 years agoWomen complain about being type-cast for generations. This may be true, I haven't been around for generations.
Regardless of the past, I get flack when I'm not me and I get flack when I'm not the me women expect.
I'm a man, a bear and I have a cave. If you want to hang out there, look after the toilet seat yourself, I do!
