I Am Jack's Life Ch. 04

Near the end of the first term, just a couple of weeks out from finals, I was over at Kimmy's house late on a Friday evening. Her parents and long since gotten used to my coming and going, and frankly, they loved me. After three months, I was actually the longest boyfriend she'd ever had. I was polite, I was a good student, I treated Kimmy well, and I was helping her with her school work. Thanks to me, Kimmy was probably going to make a high C average for the first time in her life, maybe even score a few B's.

I'm going to pause again a second. It may seem like I was down on Kim for only being a C+/B student, a C- student really, before I started helping her out, but I wasn't. I was damn proud of her in fact. She wasn't dumb, but her reading level wasn't quite up to par, and she'd get confused if the teacher would go too fast, then she'd get lost when they moved on without her, and be too embarrassed to ask them to repeat anything. When this goes on for eleven years of school, you just sort of accept that you are stupid I guess, and give up until you're just putting out the minimum effort to get by. That was Kimmy. She kept her grades up just high enough to stay on the cheerleading squad, and then didn't care about anything else.

This year, she was really trying. Maybe because she thought it was important to me, maybe because it was an excuse to spend more time together, maybe because she really did want too. I dunno. Maybe all of them. I was really proud of her. I didn't think less of her at all because she wasn't a perfect student like me. That's just another kind of elitism, the kind Beth and Anna, Abby and Kimmy had helped me overcome socially. Now I was helping Kimmy academically.

Anyway, back to where we were.

I was over late on a Friday near the end of the term, helping Kimmy study for finals. It had to have been after midnight, and her parents had been in bed for a few hours. Like I said, they loved me and trusted me. Most parents did.

My brain was somewhere between trying to understand my own material that I was studying for chemistry, and helping her with her upcoming history exam. At the moment, we were both reading quietly, but we had notes spread out all over her room. She was laying on her stomach on her bed, feet kicking up in the air. I was sitting on her floor with my back up against her wall with my book between my legs and my notes fanned out around me, I had a page in each hand, and I was trying to complete chemical bonds with mental pictures.

I missed whatever she said first, as my brain was not in the room with my girlfriend, but trying to hold equations in my head.

"Jack," she said, in the tone that said I'd missed the first thing.

"Hmm." I replied without looking up.

"My brain is mush," she flopped her head forward over the edge of the bed until her hair flopped even farther forward onto the floor.

I chuckled. I looked up and she was oozing her way off the bed. She was going to land in a heap on my carpet of notes. "Uh, Kimmy, baby..." I said as she oozed forward with increasing speed.

"Muuush," she whined and slid off the bed in a slow motion somersault that ended up with her laying face up and spread eagle over all my notes.

I was torn between laughter and exasperation, I'd spent the last hour organizing those. "You fell off the bed." I said with wry amusement.

"Mush," she said again, her lips pursed in that oh-so-sexy pout I loved.

I sighed. Break time I guess.

"Had enough?"

She nodded.

"Fine," I said with a sigh and closed my Chem book.

She rolled over on her side, crinkling my notes beneath her and propped herself up on her elbow. I let my head fall back against the wall with a dull thunk. She picked up a page of my notes and looked at my scribbled notes for equations regarding the forming of chemical bonds between high energy protons.

"How can you understand this stuff?" she said, turning the page upside down and giving it a mock frown.

I smirked, "Who says I do? Why do you think I'm studying?" I chuckled a little.

She smirked and turned her eyes back to the paper. She put it down and picked up a different one, then said, "Well, you understand enough of it to figure out the stuff you don't."

"Well that's true I guess." I was a little brain dead myself, so a witty reply was not in the cards.

She pulled herself up to her hands and knees. She carefully crawled over to me, avoiding further paper crumpling. I could see directly down her top, which was always worth the look. She didn't have a sexy expression or anything, just an amused smile, maybe even a little smug. She pulled herself up between my legs and kissed me. Just a soft brush of the lips, but she had a way of making even that simple touch feel charged with electricity

"How can one guy be so damn smart?" she said softly after she pulled back.

I opened my eyes and looked at her bright blue eyes.

She blinked her long lashes slightly as she looked back down at my lips, then went back in for another kiss. This time our mouths opened and our tongues played their now familiar game of gentle tag. We'd gotten pretty good at this dance since our first one. We kissed for several long minutes before she pulled back again.

God I loved kissing her. The whole world would fall away and it would just be the slow motion of our lips and tongues. She loved kissing, I think that was her favorite thing we did together. She'd mentioned several times that she loved kissing me because unlike other guys, I'd "let her do some of the kissing" rather than her just being on the receiving end of their slobbering. I may have taught Kimmy math and grammar, but she sure as hell taught me the best of everything I know about kissing.

We broke apart after a few minutes and she straightened up and scooted up all the way between my legs. I put ran my hands up her bare thighs and cupped her perfect ass. She was wearing just a thin pair of cotton shorts and they did nothing to disguise the equally thin pair of panties she had on underneath. Her lips were far out of my reach now, as she'd straightened up and was now running her fingers through my hair with a thoughtful expression. She looked down at me as if considering something.

"What is it?" I asked, feeling a tiny bit self-conscious.

"I was just thinking," she said as she played with the ends of my hair.

"I thought you said your brain was mush."

"Only when it comes to thinking about school work," she said with a cute little smirk.

"Oh-ho," I said with a knowing chuckle.

She leaned down again and brushed her lips against mine, her hair fell around us like a tent.

"I'm always able to think about you," she said after the kiss.

That made me blush, luckily it was pretty dark in the hair tent.

"So what were you thinking about?" I asked.

She straightened up again and considered me once more. After a moment she said, "Remember on our first date how I said you've gotten pretty cute?"

"Yeah."

"I changed my mind I think," she ran a finger along the outer lobe of my ear. Chills ran up my spine. Damn that felt good.

"Oh yeah?" I said, my voice softer than I intended.

She nodded. "I think you're pretty damn sexy."

Okay, full blush now.

She grinned, "I like it when you blush."

More blood to the face and I looked away.

She pulled my face back up with a finger under my chin. Her other hand brushed my bangs out of my eyes, and she said, "I'm serious though. I guess I didn't realize how much smart turned me on until I got to watch you in action."

I laughed a little (still blushing like a fiend though).

"In action?" I asked.

She nodded, "I was always sort of in awe of the way you could make me understand stuff, even after teachers had given up trying, and I thought that made you pretty smart. But now I watch you do your own work, all this stuff," she reached down and picked up one of my pages of notes, "This stuff isn't even in language I recognize, I mean, it kinda looks like math, but it's like, weird symbols and letters and numbers with funny lines, and you just look at it and make other numbers out of it. And I just know you're right, because you're that damn smart."

Okay, I was seriously blushing now. I'd never heard of intelligence turning a girl on before. Muscles, sure. Athleticism, obviously. Good looks, charm, wit, even humor. But 'smarts'? No way. Not in a girl that looked like Kimmy.

"Yeah, Jack, it makes you fucking sexy as hell," she said, maybe even reading my thoughts, "Because I know that even as cute, funny, and nice as you are, that's not even the best thing about you. Its this." she gentle tapped my forehead. She leaned down again and kissed me. It was a turned on kiss, she was seriously turned on. After making out with someone for a few months, you learn the signals.

Holy shit batman. She was turned on.

"God, and you don't even know how great you are, that's even hotter," she breathed against me.

I gulped. Fuck me, I was actually getting emotional.

My whole life, I've known I was smart. I mean, you figure this shit out pretty quick actually; one of the benefits of being smart. Teachers tell your parents at conferences, you begin to notice you figure things out way easier than your peers, and pretty soon, it dawns on you that you are, "Smart." At first this is pretty awesome. Figuring stuff out is kind of a rush really. That moment of comprehension when everything clicks, and that happens a lot when you're smart. So you start finding more stuff to figure out, and wonderfully, this makes you even smarter as you learn more stuff.

But then other people - your peers - start figuring out you're smart, and figuring out that you are smarter than them. Sometimes this is a good thing; you get attention as they ask you to help them figure things out. Sometimes - most times - they get annoyed when you figure things out before them, because it makes them feel lesser. When you are very smart, you become an ape with a stick among so many chattering monkeys, and you begin to resent them back. Why the fuck can't they figure even the easiest things out? For fuck's sake, a monkey could get this people! You start treating your intellectual inferiors as just that, and elevating yourself above them, and suddenly they aren't your peers anymore.

And now you're the kid getting thrown in a dumpster full of rotten cottage cheese.

So after a decade of the roller coaster of the high that comes with the joy of discovery and learning, and the anger and resentment that forms between you and your former peers, to be told by a girl that you really, honestly care about, and is so far your intellectual inferior that you're helping teach a class she's barely passing, that the sexiest thing about you is the source of all of the above.

Well fuck, my friend, you'd get emotional too.

I looked away before she could see the first tear fall.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she asked, suddenly concerned. She lifted my face back up, her blue eyes full of worry.

I sniffled. In what I hoped, was a manly kind of sniffle, which is probably an impossibility.

"Nothing, come here." I pulled her down and kissed her pretty hard. This wasn't me letting her kiss me, or slow sensual exploration. This was me kissing her. Trying to block out a sudden flood of years of torment and confusion, of resentment and rejection. Of feeling alone in a crowded hallway. She kissed me back, surprised, but just as hard. I wanted to make the world go away with our kissing again. I wanted to lose myself in her lips, and her tongue, and her breath. I wanted to lose myself in her.

We broke apart long enough to pant a few times, then we were both helping her pull her top off. Her small naked breasts sprang free and I covered them with my hands. Her nipples were hard against my hands and fingers. We kissed again, breathing hard into each other. She wrapped her arms tight around me and I moved to hug tight around her waist. For a few moments we just clung to each other. She opened my mouth with hers and our tongues danced feverishly. She moaned against my lips and I tried to pull her even closer. I was overwhelmed with desire for her. Her tall but slender body, her tiny breasts and her long blond hair, I wanted to pull her inside of me.

She pulled far enough apart to tug at the bottom of my shirt, and we broke kissing once again, long enough to pull it off, then we mashed our bodies together again. For the first time in three months, our naked flesh pressed together, and it was even sexier this time. She was warm and dry; smooth and soft. Her mouth sought mine out again and we frantically kissed. Her hands alternated between pulling on the back of my head or running up and down my chest. Mine wandered just the same, clinging with one to the back of her head, afraid to let her pull away; the other cupping her breasts or clenching her naked waist.

We fell forward onto the floor, crushing my notes, though I didn't notice. I was a little busy. We pulled and pawed each other. This was so far beyond our curious explorations, this was need; this was passion. We let it consume us.

I'm not sure when her shorts came off, or when my pants had come down, but I noticed when I felt her hand on my rock hard cock and she guided me between her legs. Reality began to crash against the waves of my desire and need, and I realized what was about to happen.

I could feel her wetness against the tip of me and her fingers fumbling to help me find her entrance. Distantly I was aware that she was on the pill, and that she was a virgin, but I still panicked.

"Are you sure?" I managed to whisper hoarsely against her.

She nodded vigorously, "Yes, oh God yes!" she panted, and her fingers pushed me forward.

I slipped into her.

Warmth and wetness engulfed me.

Nothing else existed. I was only dimly aware that she'd gasped out in shock herself, or that her wet mouth was sucking against mine as we both attempted to keep her moans quiet.

Nothing else mattered. Warmth and wetness were my whole world. My existence was buried in her. Again and again. It was unbelievable

I tried to hold on, to slow down and make it good for her, but she was just as eager as I was. I'm pretty sure that she managed to come with me, but I'm not positive. I didn't think to ask. She didn't seem disappointed when it was over.

We lay there for a while, sweating, breathing, and just - being. I rolled off her and we lay next to each other and feathered each other's bodies with light touches.

"Thank you," she said softly after a while. She was petting my hair gently, running it through her fingers in the way she liked to do.

Of all the things she could have said, I was not expecting that.

"What for?" I asked softly.

"For being my first. For making it amazing," she said. Her eyes locked on to mine and held my gaze.

"My first time too," I said.

"That made it even better. I was afraid it was going to be like Anna's. Drunk, not able to even remember the guy or anything about it. Or stupid awkward and embarrassing, so it wouldn't be any fun."

I swallowed, I hadn't known that about Anna. "I'm glad it was with you. You're amazing, Kim."

She smiled and lightly kissed me. "I didn't want to wait until I was married or anything, but I wanted the first time to be special. I'm glad it was with someone I really care about. Someone I'll want to remember."

I could only nod. Kimmy, for all of her academic struggles could be the Zen fucking master of wisdom sometimes. This was one of those moments.

We lay there for a while longer, and then the crumpled papers began to get uncomfortable.

"We're crushing your notes." she said apologetically.

I laughed, "So worth it."

She bit her lip and smiled. We sat up and began pulling crumpled and ripped chemistry notes off each other with chuckles and giggles.

I passed that chemistry final with an A, barely; and only I think because my instructor liked me a lot. I got more credit on the essay question than maybe I should have. Kimmy passed her history exam with a B- and was elated, she'd come running out of her class room and leapt into my arms with a whooping cheer.

We spent most of winter break figuring out that once the first time is out of the way, the second, third, and fourth times can be more fun oriented, and less emotionally intense. The fifth, sixth and seventh times can start to be about our normal exploratory relationship, and by the time the second term began, we were old hats at fucking each other blind every chance we got. She was an amazing lover, willing and eager for anything I dared to suggest, with quite a few ideas of her own. I couldn't have asked for a better first partner.