I Love You More

One evening when I returned home from work she was sitting on the couch with Mom holding each other tightly. Janice was crying, Mom was trying to not smile. I heard "How do I tell him?"

My stomach lurched. We had just gotten together and things were going wrong. I wanted to leave but Mom had spotted me and directed me to go around to the kitchen. Janice didn't see the motions, or me.

"She has good news for you but is frightened to tell you. She's not sure how you will take it. Please come in the front door again and be nice to her; no matter what you are feeling."

I came back in to see her on the couch, she was a wretched mess. I sat next to her and enquired about what was troubling her. She held out a pregnancy test kit with a very bright positive result. "I'm frightened. I love you more than you know." Finally she got around to the part that bothered her. "My mother died when I was born, she bled to death. They tried and tried and couldn't save her. I was raised by my Dad and an aunt."

"There have been many advances in the medical world since you were born. Have you spoken to the doctor yet?"

She shook her head "NO."

The doctor assured her that it was rare for a woman to have those sorts of problems with the advancements in medical technology.

Janice felt better after that conversation; every now and again a dark look would appear on her face and disappear just as quickly as it arrived. Her medical records were all flagged to indicate the problem she worried about and all the important medicines to combat it were stocked just in case.

We were at our happiest point. She wanted to remarry before the birth, the doctors all said to "...avoid the excitement and do it after the birth." Finally she consented.

I was making the last run to our new facility at her seven month point. I was driving just a little over the limit, which I always did on that part of the road when I saw the lights behind me. "We caught you." the officer said.

Just after he pulled me over a helicopter flew down into the field beside the road. I started to protest that I was not going that fast when he told me a tow truck was on the way and to get into the helicopter. I started to protest again when he shouted "Move."

I was confused, but I moved.

The pilot in the helicopter strapped me in and we were in the air within a minute. He finally spoke "Mr. Katt, your wife has been taken to the hospital; she started to hemorrhage shortly after you left. We are flying you back to be with her."

The flight was the longest 15 minutes of my life. I got there in time to speak to her as they wheeled her into the operating room.

We spoke for 30 to 40 seconds and she was gone. We both shouted "I love you" at the same time.

I turned to find Mom in tears, "She was so afraid this would happen."

Janice made it through the operation, as did our twins, a boy and girl. When she came around she was too weak to hold them and could only whisper a few words. I kissed her and told her of how beautiful our babies were.

She was able to go home after 3 weeks. She was still too weak to do much. Shannon had just finished her nursing courses and had her degree. She came to help us. The babies were able to go home after 4 more weeks. They were small but healthy. She was so happy to finally be able to hold them.

I lost count of all the times I told her that I was sorry for the problems.

She brushed it off saying "We have our babies and I lived through it. I love you so much I had to try."

We decided to remarry on our original wedding day, just after the twins turned one. She slowly improved; the twins were full of energy and the joys of our lives.

The day we remarried she was too exhausted to do much other than go home to bed. Three months later we set out on out honeymoon. The doctors told us to take it easy and no sex yet. We did as told. We had a great time and called to speak to the twins each night.

On the flight back about 25 minutes from landing she began to hemorrhage again. Slowly at first then it got worse and worse. She was barely alive when we got to the hospital. If she made it through the night they were sure she would survive.

Janice was slowly recovering over the next week. I hardly ever left her side. We said "I love you!" often.

She convinced me to go home one evening. As I left I held her hand and whispered "I love you!"

She said "I love you more!" That was a new one.

I got to the front doors of the hospital when something told me to go back. I heard "Code Blue" and started to run toward her room, not bothering to listen to the rest of the announcement. They were working furiously on her; I knew in my heart she was gone.

Her friend, the nurse who called her about Mom, was there. "She gave it her best shot. She was always so grateful that you got back together with her. She always spoke of her deep love for you. You made her life complete."

The staff slowly filed out of the room. She continued "You know she had the best working on her in there. They said her heart was just too week to continue. They pulled her back one time and I swear she said 'I love you more!' Then she closed her eyes and was gone."

Somehow between the time I left her and when her heart stopped she managed to write a note to me. It read "My heart is so filled with love for you that sometimes it forgets to beat. Understand that I love you more than life itself. If you ever find another you have my permission" ('you have my permission' had a line through it). Then it continued "I expect you to love and care for her as well as you did me." You could see where she had started to sign it, but the pen ran down the page in a strange curve before it faded out.

We buried Janice at the ranch, there was a space left between Dad and her for me. We spent the next week there. Mom and I spent a lot of time talking and stroking the dogs' ears. Shannon was there to help with the children; she was a godsend that week.

The next few years were bittersweet. The children grew like weeds. Mom tried to care for them, but she was slowly beginning to wear down. Tom and Linda got married, Shannon felt like a third wheel with them. She was working nights at the hospital and then dropping by to help Mom with the house and the children. Many days she would "just lay down for a nap" only to sleep until early evening. She slowly moved out of Tom and Linda's place in into ours. Without her help we would have had a difficult time.

As time moved on I began to realize that I looked forward to seeing her as much as I looked forward to seeing Mom and the children in the evenings. The children turned 4 years old and old enough to attend preschool. This gave Mom and Shannon a chance to relax more.

One Friday evening Tom and Linda stopped by with pizzas and chased Shannon and I out of the house. They had gift certificates and made reservations for our favorite restaurant. We had a marvelous time. After dinner we found ourselves walking in the park before returning home. I'm not sure how it happened that we soon were holding hands and chatting up a storm. We sat on a bench to continue talking and I soon found I was holding her and the side of her head was pressed to my chest. She looked up at me and I could see her eyes shining. It felt right to lean over and kiss her lightly on her lips. She sighed.

Soon we were heading back to the house. The talking wound down and we seemed to be lost in our own thoughts. Tom and Linda left soon after we returned, the rest were all asleep. I sat in Dad's big old recliner; she came over and asked if she could join me. As I sat there holding her a dog walked out of the hall and stopped to look; then she continued to the kitchen for a drink.

I chuckled.

"What?" Shannon whispered.

"The look on Snowball's face was as if she was thinking 'It's about time'. Maybe it is?"

"Maybe it is?" she replied.

We both laughed softly. Her head fell to my shoulder and she relaxed.

It was almost a whisper "I like this!" I was thinking the same thing. It was melodious, like 2 part harmony.

"What did you say?" she asked

"You said 'I like this' at the same time I was thinking it"

She quickly countered with "I heard you say it as I was thinking it!"

"It sounded wonderful either way; I think we both spoke at the same time."

"I'm only worried about one thing. As much as you loved Janice, do you have room in your heart for me?"

"I still love her. I guess I always will; but there is room in my heart for you too. I'm not sure when I happened," I then blurted out "I have fallen in love with you!"

"I'm glad you feel the way you do. I would worry if you didn't love both of us."

I bent down and kissed her, she returned the kiss with passion.

I felt a presence in front of me and cracked one eye open. It was morning! Shannon had her arms wrapped around my neck, I was holding her too. Both dogs were lying at my feet. Mom was just turning into the kitchen. I heard her mumble "...about time. For 2 smart people they sure are dense."

Shannon giggled. I kissed her again.

Neither of us wanted to separate, but nature was calling both of us. "I like the feel of that, is it for me?" she said as her hand brushed the front of my pants.

"Soon, but not yet." I whispered.

"I can wait." She was gone like a shot.

After breakfast I had errands to run, she was going to do Mom's hair for church tomorrow.

I stopped at Tom's and knocked on the door. He was out back mowing the yard. Linda answered the door. I gave her the flowers in my hand. "Sorry, I'm already married!" she said.

"I came to ask permission to marry your daughter."

"For smart people you 2 sure are dense. YES, you can marry my daughter."

"I heard that first part earlier this morning." To the look on her face I replied "Mom said it too."

"Get out of here and go back to her. Stop wasting time with old ladies!"

As I drove toward home my phone rang "For smart people you 2 sure are dense." It was Tom. He giggled and hung up before I could respond.

When I got home the children were playing in the living room. Mom was taking a nap. I snuck up behind Shannon as she was preparing lunch. "Put the knife down." She did right after she jumped.

"You scared me!"

I just kept right on going before I lost my nerve, "Shannon, I love you with most of my heart. Please marry me!"

"YES!" She jumped into my arms. "You have a funny way of asking, but I understand. This is the way it is."

At her shout the dogs and then the children ran into the kitchen to see what was happening. "Your Dad asked me to marry him."

My son Mike said "For smart people you guys sure are dense."

His sister Pat asked "Will you marry us too?" Mike was nodding in agreement.

"I would like nothing better!"

About that time Mom walked into the kitchen. Before she could ask what all the noise was about Pat ran over to her "We are ALL getting married!"

Mom said "OK." and smiled.

We were married at the ranch at the spot where I found unconditional love; there were less than a dozen there in all. That included Snowball, Opus and her puppy Misty.

Everyone left us there for our honeymoon.

Shannon was eager that evening when we went to bed. As I entered her for the first time she whispered "Gentle, please." She was a virgin.

Afterward all she said was "I promised Daddy."

I understood. That night after I fell asleep I dreamed that Janice was there. It had been a long time since I dreamed about her. She sat on the side of the bed and said "I knew she would be the one." And then she smiled and was gone.

The next morning Shannon told me she was visited too. "Janice thanked me for all I had done for you and the family then wished me a happy marriage and was gone."

That day as we walked past the graves we noticed a small, blue flower had bloomed overnight on Janice's, within a month her grave was completely covered and they were spreading to the other graves. That night our loving was more wonderful and it kept getting better each night.

Friday at about 11 the phone rang, "There is a problem at the plant, you are the closest. Can you take care of it? You can take your wife too."

When we got there the plant was dark, no machines were running. When we entered the production floor a bright light came on and everyone yelled surprise. It echoed off of the cement walls. The main lighting came back on and the entire staffs of both plants and their families were gathered there. Mom and the children stood to the side with Linda and Tom. We were lead to a tent that was setup out back and the party began.

After the meal Tom, Mary, John and the managers of the original plant stood at the front Tom asked to speak. "Bill, you were the first employee I ever hired. You have been there through good times and bad, always doing your best at the exact time it was needed. Thank you. We know you are overpaid and want for nothing, especially now that you are married again, but we wanted to give you a present anyway." He held his hand up and pointed to the area in the corner of the tent that was hidden with tarps. As they fell you could see stacks of skids loaded with canned food. This is less than half of your present, the rest is at the other plant, and it is being donated to as many local food banks as can use it in a timely fashion. The employees all donated food and money the company matched it with 2 for each one they donated.

Mary and John spoke next. We noticed there was no library in this town when we first arrived. In honor of your father we are donating $200,000 to start one. Half will be for books and the rest will be for furnishings. The old school on West Broad is being renovated as we speak for use as a community building, the library will be on much of the first floor.

Tom spoke again. "I never told anyone my secret. All of you will hear it at the same time. I hired Bill because he was a good worker. I used to watch him at the Burger Barn; it was his first summer job.

I did not know something at that time; I only discovered it when I went to his father's funeral. His father was my first employer; he taught me how to be the best boss ever, you all owe your jobs and the way you are treasured to Mr. Isaac Katt. A special children's section of the library will be dedicated to him."

The new managers from the original plant spoke next. "The library in our town had become a little shabby and worn. We have made the same deal with them as we have made here. Both libraries will have a Katt Room just for the children."

I thanked them for their generosity and introduced Shannon to them all again; most of them already knew her.

Tom spoke one more time. "This is long overdue; tonight I am making Bill a full partner in the company."

I stuttered my thanks.

He continued, "The party ends at Midnight, have a good time. Be safe going home."

At 11:30 seven big busses pulled into the lot to return the folks from up north.

For the next month or more the suggestion boxes from both plants kept filling with ideas to improve production as well as other things. Most began; "While talking with someone at the reception they mentioned a different way of doing things in their plant. We would like to try their way and see if it is faster, better or easier...."

We pulled a group together from both plants to investigate the possibilities.

We are not sure if the changes were the reason production in both plants improved over 10 percent; we passed the increased profits to the employees in the form of bonuses and more parties.

Shannon returned from the honeymoon pregnant, she swears she felt something after the first time. We added 2 more to the family and there were no more. We tried, we really did.

Mom progressively got weaker and weaker and finally joined Dad and her parents at the ranch. It was a blessing when she passed on.

We now have the great, great, great grand puppies from Rhoda. She would be proud. They all have had the softest ears. The puppies have spread out throughout the family.

Three of the children have married and blessed us with four grand children so far. Tom and I sold most of the operation to the employees, we go in a few times a month to offer guidance and renew friendships.

We built another house on the ranch, Tom and Linda moved down to be with their grand children.

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This turned out longer than I expected. I don't think there is much I can do to shorten it without ruining the story.

I hope someone likes it. I found that I had a problem with my face leaking from time to time as I worked.

Be kind with the remarks and I shall be kind in return.

Thank you.