All Comments on 'I Pick Truth or Dare'

A very familiar theme, but outstandingly well handled: nicely paced, with great description and characterisation, believable dialogue and solid plot development. I was particularly impressed by the way you peeked inside your protagonists' heads to explore their trepidation as the action got hotter, the growing sexual buzz which overwhelmed the group and the way each of them handled the repercussions. A very promising debut, which definitely demands a follow-up; if nothing else, James deserves a chance to enjoy the lovely Shannon.

On a more general note, there were some odd formatting glitches, which broke paragraphs in odd places and moved at least one line out of situ, and a few very silly spelling errors / typos (Shannon kills Dave at one point), but nothing which wouldn't be picked up by (a) setting the document aside for a couple of days before the final draft (if you're doing this on-screen, try changing the font temporarily, which tricks the brain into viewing the text as a fresh document), and (b) running it past a trusted friend before posting the story to Literotica (double-spaced and non-justified is easier when checking for errors). No worries: you can always re-edit this and repost a corrected version. Hope that's helpful.

well done, great tease factor and wonderful progression! Thank You!