I Started Out Roasting a Pig

One of the women spoke up.

"I'm a divorce lawyer, Will, a damn good one. I have a separate practice, my husband thought it would be a good idea. I'm offering advice on how to proceed, and my services if you need them."

I never knew she was a lawyer in her own right, I just knew her socially, as the wife of one of Ben's partners.

Angie was hugging me and rubbing my shoulders to try and calm me, telling me to think of Billy.

"Thanks Julie. I'll accept both, if you would. What do I need to do?"

"The hardest thing you can do under this situation, be calm. Don't engage them in conversation when we confront them, let me do the talking. Control yourself Will, it will give you the advantage"

She smiled in the darkness, a wolf's smile.

"That being said, if he's dumb enough to try to assault you in front of a bunch of lawyers, you are within your legal rights to defend yourself."

Ben got off the phone.

"They're almost there. Come on."

They had set it up. The most senior of the partners were pulling into my driveway, supposedly for the ice I had promised. The rest of us were waiting just outside on the deck, going up the side steps and avoiding the light coming from the patio door.

We heard the knock.

"Sherry? Are you in there? Will sent us to get some more ice, we ran out."

He continued to talk loudly after she didn't answer the door.

"Aw, well, he did give us the key. Come on boys, I don't like to be in someones' house when they're not there."

Sherry and her lover were gathering clothes when they heard the door open. She threw the door open and he ran out on the deck, to hide in the darkness.

The look in his eyes was priceless when I turned the light light on. We had a switch put outside, for times when we wanted to enjoy the darkness and didn't want to have to go back in. We were usually getting naked just about then.

Four cellphones clicked away as he stood there holding his pants, shorts, and shoes. Sherry had managed to get dressed, and was leading the partners to the kitchen, and saw us standing on the porch. She started screaming, ran out of the house and took off.

He didn't know what to say, but the senior partner held up his hand.

"Not a word. Be in my office at nine Monday. Now go!"

He put all the power in his voice a senior executive had accumulated, and he left. Angie and Ben had bracketed me, each holding a hand to keep me from getting stupid.

Julie gave me her card, telling me to be at her office at two Monday afternoon. Then she hugged me.

We all went back to the party. I went so I didn't have to be in the house. Naturally it broke up early, and I spent the night in their guest room.

I didn't sleep much, and Angie got me up by turning Billy loose on me. You don't sleep though the attentions of a two year old. I realized with a shock I hadn't thought much about what to do to protect him, and Angie had gotten up early to get him, telling my mother in law I had too much of a good time, so she volunteered to pick him up for me. She had picked him up before when we were just getting our party business off the ground.

He sat on Angies' lap and she let him feed her breakfast, smearing syrup all over her face, giggling like mad. It made us smile.

When she took him to the bathroom to clean both of them up, Ben said we'd talk when we put him down for his nap.

That afternoon we held our first war conference.

Angie cut to the heart of it.

"Divorce?"

"Yeah. I can look back now and see it coming. We quit sharing dreams. She always wanted to live in a big city. I've always been a country boy, my roots here run deep."

"What about Billy?"

"I want custody without a doubt. I think a child would interfere with the lifestyle she wants."

Ben had a few observations.

"I agree Billy would not match the lifestyle, but he gives her power over you. She can dangle a custody battle over you as a weapon to get a bigger financial settlement. Everything else is cut and dried."

"Be careful with Julie, she goes for the throat, and will run over anybody or anything that stops her. We have to keep it from going from negotiation to war."

.................................................

I didn't see her for six days. I came home and she was there. It took everything I had not to throw her out the door. She saw my eyes and backed up.

"Please don't say anything right now. I probably deserve it, but I'm just here to pick up some of my stuff, and to see Billy. Please Will. Just for a little while. Then I'll leave quietly. You can even have my car keys."

I fell for it, staying out of the way and letting her play with Billy. She had paid so little attention to him lately he seemed bored.

She asked for her keys back so she could open the trunk, then asked me if I would help her carry her clothes out. I went in for another load when I heard her car crank. I went through the screen door and was on her before she could put it in gear. I snatched the keys out and threw then in the driveway. She was screaming when I pulled Billy out of the car seat.

"Fuck you fuck you fuck you! He's mine and you can't keep him."

Billy was screaming, not knowing what was going on. She was cussing up a storm when she noticed Angie, filming everything on her Iphone.

She had rode her four wheeler, an custom she had developed, to see Billy and make sure I was all right. She would visit for thirty or forty minutes before going home just before Ben arrived.

"You bitch! Might have known you would be here. Giving him a little bit before hubby gets home? How many times has poor old Ben had sloppy seconds? Does he hide in the closet and watch?"

Angie went white with anger. I don't know what would have happened if I hadn't screamed out.

"Sherry! Leave, and I mean right now! From now on, if you want to visit Billy, get a court order. Now, get the hell out of my life before I call the cops."

I had a lot more I wanted to say, but my first priority was Billy.

Sherry left, still screaming. Angie taped every word.

The next day Julie had the tape, and filed a restraining order until Sherry submitted to a mental evaluation. She recorded her screaming response.

I wondered where she was living. Apparently the guy she was with was now her new flame, and they were together. Another strike against her.

He had been fired over the affair. They used flowery language, but the message was clear. You were gone, no reference. He had gotten on with another firm, at a reduce salary.

I sent out a letter to all our event customers, telling them I was no longer associated with the business, but would honor all remaining contracts. After that, Sherry was responsible.

I was gonna say screw it, but Julie talked me out of it.

"You've got a good reputation, and you may want to get back into it later. It also gives Sherry a viable income, something that may come into play later."

She got her own attorney and the dance began.

She wanted the house. Too bad, it was still in my parents' name.

She wanted the party equipment. Since it was rented from my supply company, which was covered in the prenup, it was out of her reach.

Julie froze most of our accounts. By forced agreement, she handled one crew, I handled the other. Money could only be drawn for salaries and supplies, the rest had to stay frozen until the divorce. All profits generated after I finished my commitment went into a new account completely controlled by Sherry. It was as fair as I could make it.

Sherry fought until Julie and her lawyer convinced her to settle if she expected to have any money at all left.

She wanted a final meeting to vent, but I refused. Come to find out, her lawyer was the fifth lover she had been with in eighteen months. All slick city types, most without money. I couldn't think of a thing I wanted to say to her that didn't end with the phrase "fucking bitch" at the end of it.

I tried to stay civil, for Billy. He had turned three, and really didn't miss her that much.

She ended up with the party/catering business, after giving me a fourth of the profits. I really didn't have time anymore, and Julie dangled it like a carrot. It left her with a business and some working capital. That was all the money she got out of me.

I got full custody of Billy. She had liberal visitation rights, I actually never refused her. She had to stick to rules, though. No men while she had Billy, and if she ever exposed him to something deemed morally or physically dangerous, she lost her rights.

After another year, the visits became less and less. Billy didn't seem to mind.

................................................

Angie and Ben became my anchors. They helped me through my grief and anger. Sherry's mom still babysat Billy, after agreeing that if she helped Sherry violate the custody agreement all contact with him would cease.

Angie became a surrogate mom, with Ben's blessing. He still followed Ben around, and Ben had a photo of him, Angie, and Billy on his desk at work. People assumed he was a stepson, and he let them up to a point. He asked my permission first, saying that it made him look like a family man, and that it helped his relationship with new clients.

I surprised him terribly when I gave him a copy of my will, naming them executors and guardians of Billy should something happen to me.

"You are a family man, Ben. You always have been. You've got the most impressive woman I've ever seen, and you've got us."

I've never seen a male lawyer cry. It was moving.

I dated some, after a while. They were fun, and I got my needs met, but never met anyone who I considered long term. Angie gave me hell, saying Billy needed a mother. I just looked at her.

"He's got one, and soon as I find her match I'll be married so fast your head would spin."

The closest I came was with of all people, a lawyer. It was the senior partners' daughter. A few years older, she had just gone through a bad divorce, lined up a really good job on the other coast, and was taking three months off to collect herself.

She found herself needing an escort and her dad called me.

"Do me a favor Will. She's new to town, and I'd really like her to go with me to the banquet, but she has to have an escort. She's considered pretty, if that helps."

I had nothing to do so I agreed. I rented a Cadillac, it was deja vu all over again.

Was she pretty? Damn right she was. Barely five feet tall, blond, fair skinned, with a really good body. She looked like a breathing china doll. I could feel the interest rising.

I think she felt a little spark, and her bubbly personality took over.

"Ooh. A real live redneck. I've never been this close to one before. Do you bite?"

I gave her my most serious look. "Yes I do."

"Goody!"

Ben, Angie, and her parents burst out laughing, and it set the tone for the night.

It was a charity event, the most prestigious of the year. Black tie, the works. I thought I looked pretty spiffy. The meal was good, and Rhonda chattered nonstop. She told me later it was a nervous trait.

She talked through the appetizer, she talked through the entree, she talked through dessert.

"Do you ever stopped talking?"

She reddened, before giving me an innocent smile.

"Only when I have something interesting in my mouth."

Ben snorted coffee through his nose while Angie giggled.

"Knock it off you two. This is supposed to be a serious affair."

There was a big band and dancing afterwards. Angie taught me to dance, to keep me from becoming morose.

Sophie was a great dance partner, graceful, fluid, a joy to watch. She danced twice with her father and once with Ben, and all the rest were all mine.

Ben and I were waiting beside the bandstand for the girls when Sherry walked by.

"Ben, Will, nice to see you. Here alone, Will? You should really get out more. Allow me to introduce my escort. Robert Morgan. You might know his father, Ben, Wilson Morgan? Founder of the Morgan Bank chain?"

I looked at her as she tried to impress us. Her face had hardened, and she looked like she had gained ten pounds. One look at her escort and you could see he wasn't with her for intelligent conversation.

About that time Angie and Sophie came up.

She kissed me on the cheek.

"Miss me lover? Good. I want you frustrated all night, it'll make it more fun when we make the mad passionate love you've promised me. Oh, I'm sorry, who are your friends?"

I looked past her and saw Angie laughing. I knew instantly she had told Sophie who Sherry was, and they were playing it for full effect.

"Where are my manners? Sophie, this is Robert Morgan, of the banking Morgans. And this is Sherry Blankenship[I made her drop my name and go back to her maiden one], a local businesswoman, and my ex wife. Sherry, Robert, this is Sophie Williams, of the firm Williams, Roberts, Howe, and Hatfield. You may have heard of them? Well, darling, should we waltz?"

We left them both with open mouths. As we waltzed I whispered "Angie told you who she was, didn't she."

Sophie pressed a little closer.

"Yes she did, and a little history. I hope she has a miserable time tonight."

"Don't worry, from the looks both are giving us, I think they are."

We finished and she pulled my head down to her, giving me a two minute kiss, complete with tongue.

"Did she see that?"

"Give me a minute to get get blood back into my brain. Yes she saw it, and thank you."

"You're welcome, and the pleasure was mine."

Sure enough they came to the table a little later.

Robert asked Sophie for a dance, and Sherry asked me.

"Just for old times sake."

Sophie smiled sweetly.

"I'd love to, but I promised my lover the rest of my dances."

"As did I. Sorry, Sherrie, maybe next time."

They looked stunned, and Angie held a napkin to her mouth to suppress the laughter. They left without another word.

I looked at Sophie.

"I'm glad you're not staying here permanently."

She looked hurt.

"Why would you say such a mean thing? I was starting to like you."

"Because there would be fights everywhere we went. Me fighting to keep the men away that would swarm to you, and you fighting to keep me off you."

She smiled. slowly.

"What makes you think I'd put up a fight?"

...............................................

She didn't put up a fight, and we spent every moment we could together. Angie even kept Billy for us to spend a weekend away.

She was the best lover I had ever had, to date.

Though small, she was amazingly strong. She never told me her age but I was guessing it was close to forty, she had the firmness and suppleness of a twenty year old. Very responsive nipples, and she loved oral.

She had a three step process to sex. First oral, for both of us. Then regular sex, in all kind of positions. Then anal, doggie style. Then she would gently wash me and try for a bonus round. She told me the old timers used to call it round the world, and I racked up the frequent flyer miles.

She adored Billy, and showed me pictures of her daughter, a cute little replica of her. She looked to be thirteen.

"My ex has her now, I gave him more time because we're going to be three thousand miles away soon."

It made me sad to think of Billy that far away.

...............................................

Life goes on. I opened a barbeque restaurant to pass the time. Myra was still running the rental business, and was doing such a good job I left her alone. Restaurants are very time consuming, and the success rate is horrible. But, I already had a good reputation, and I did well. I bought four food trucks and had them outfitted, and sent them out to neighboring towns four days a week. They were very successful.

I still didn't have anyone permanent in my life, and pretty much gave up looking.

...............................................

It hits you when you least expect it. When you come to like your life, when you're truly happy. I'm not talking about love, but tragedy.

Billy was nine. He got off the bus at Angie's house, and then rode his little four wheeler through the woods when I got home. She would ride with him, wave at me, and go home. She would feed him a snack, check his schoolwork, and he would help her with little chores. It worked well for all of us. On the rare occasions I had a date, he would spend the night there, Angie had decorated a room for him.

He called me at three, right after he had gotten off the bus. He was crying.

"Come quick dad. Aunt Angie is on the floor crying and I can't get her up."

I flew down the road. It was just as he said, she was on the floor, sobbing softly. She wouldn't respond or speak to me. I was getting ready to hit 911 when Ben's boss called.

"Will! I need you to go see about Angie, make sure she's all right."

"I'm with her now and she's not all right. I can't get her to talk. Ben hasn't had an accident, has he.

I can hear the emotion in his voice.

"Ben's dead, Will. He had a heart attack, they said death was almost immediate. We found him on the floor of his office when he missed a lunch meeting. He'd been gone an hour by then."

I almost dropped the phone.

Ben gone? He had become my best friend, but he was Angie's life. I gathered her into my arms. Her face cleared for a second and she clung to me like a drowning woman.

"Ben....Ben..."

I held her on the couch, rocking her like a child.

Tears flowed,and they weren't all hers.

She was a zombie. We finally made funeral plans after his boss brought us his will. He had just updated it. He was to be cremated, and his ashes scattered around the farm.

"It's the only place I ever felt was home" he stated in the will.

The turnout for visitation and the service was amazing. Most of his clients had turned into friends, his racetrack buddies showed up in force, and every member and employee if his firm was there. Sherry came, and hugged Angie.

She sat through the visitation with Billy on her lap, and Sherry's mother beside her. They had bonded over Billy, and were close. Her eyes followed me around the room, and she got agitated if I was out of sight.

Ben had been fifty two, older than Angie, and in good health. The doctors said it was a hidden condition, and they couldn't be sure what triggered it.

The funeral was over, the friends and family gone back to their own lives, and it was time for the grieving to begin.

Billy, Sara[Sherry's mom]and I lived with her for about two weeks. She only started coming back to life at the end of the second week.

We had a minor setback when the will was read, mostly because it drove home the finality of it.

When he updated his will he put a few letters in, his way of saying goodbye to the ones he loved. Angie got one. To this day I've never asked and she's never volunteered what was in it.

He left one for Billy, to be opened on his eighteenth birthday.

He left one for me, too.

"Dear Will,

If you're reading this, I'm gone. I want to thank you for your friendship. You took an uptight Yankee lawyer and made him into a better man, one who could relax more, and appreciate what he had. I was honored to be your friend. I left something for Billy. It's a college fund, enough for the full ride. I know you could afford it, but it gave me a great deal of pleasure to do it for him and you. He's a great kid. I'm sure if follows your guidance,he'll be a better man. I hope he remembers me with fondness.

Now for the serious part. Take care of her, Will. She'll need you for awhile. I know you loved her, and true to your honor and our friendship you never did anything to damage it. Angie needs someone to love her right now, to help her through the dark times ahead. I'm sorry I won't be around, I would have loved to have seen Billy as a man. You need to find someone yourself, before you give up.