I Want To Be Around

"You and your friends give it up. I'm getting reacquainted with my old friend here. We haven't seen each other in a long time and I'm going to spend the evening with him. Thanks for asking but I'm not available for dancing."

Cassidy turned her back on the guy and he sort of slunk away to lick his wounds. She smiled at me and said, "Now where were we?"

"Old friend huh? Haven't seen each other for a long time? That's not strictly the truth Cassidy," I replied with a smile of my own.

"Well, this is the first time we met so it's been a long time right? And I feel like we've become friends this evening. Don't you?"

"Unassailable logic, Miss Nolan. I bow to your deductive reasoning." I was going to continue but we both busted out laughing.

A few minutes later Cassidy stood and said she had to get home. She and one of the others girls at the table started toward the door. Cassidy came back to the table.

"Forgive my bad manners; I didn't say good night to you. Hope to see you again Patrick."

"Count on it Cassidy. Good night," I replied and watched her walk to the door. I don't know how woman walk like that, I thought. A totally delightful movement that defies gravity and the laws of motion. I said good night to Sarah and left for my dad's place. When I got to my truck, Riley was leaning against the fender waiting for me.

"How'd it go? Did you make a date with her? When are you gonna make your move?" Riley's questions came at me rapid fire.

"Chill Riley. I just met her but I did lay some ground work tonight. Maybe I'll run into her here again and develop things from that."

"C'mon Patrick. I wanted to see her suffer. Can't you push a little harder?" Riley pressured me.

"I'll do this my way buddy and if that doesn't suit you I won't do it at all. Settle down Riley. What does it matter if it happens this week or next month?"

It was almost a week before I returned to Dooley's. I was a recon mission hoping to run into Cassidy again. The first time we'd met I had purposely not asked for her phone number. Couldn't look too interested, now could I? Riley wasn't there; I had suggested he do his drinking at some other bar. No need to remind Cassidy that he and I were friends.

My scouting mission paid off; Cassidy and two of her friends were at a table when I walked in. I went to the bar, climbed on a bar stool, and ordered a drink. Taking a sip of the good bourbon I turned and looked out over the room. I saw Cassidy looking my way and raised my glass to her and smiled. Wait for it, I thought.

There it is; Cassidy smiled back at me and motioned for me to join the group at her table. Got ya girl, I said to myself. I nodded, ordered a round of drinks for the table, walked over and sat next to Cassidy.

"Ah fair lady, I made a serious error when last we met," I said to her. She giggled at my choice of words but looked puzzled. I continued in a more normal tone, "I forgot to ask for your phone number. I've been kicking myself in the butt for being that dumb."

Cassidy smiled and replied, "Let's correct that error right now." She handed me a card and said, "That's my work number and my cell number. Now you can quit kicking yourself. By the way, isn't that hard to do?"

"What?"

"Kicking yourself in the butt." The she giggled.

For the next three hours it was if Cassidy and I were the only two people in Dooley's. We talked a lot and danced several times. Two or three guys sitting at a close by table asked her to dance but she turned them down. There was one of them that just didn't get it; Cassidy wasn't dancing with anyone but me that evening.

This guy came back to Cassidy four times and when she turned down the last time he got mad. "Too good to dance with us locals are you bitch?"

Cassidy looked him in the eye and gave him the finger. "Jack, I'm too much of a lady to say it so I hope you can read sign language."

Jack's face turned beet red and he tried to grab Cassidy's finger. What he got was me, all 6 foot 4 of me, standing between him and Cassidy. Jack was about 5' 9 and had to look up at to see my face.

"The lady said no. Jack is it? Jack go away and leave her alone, she doesn't want to dance with you. Besides she's with me tonight and I don't want her to dance with you either." As he started to turn away I said, "And I think you owe her an apology." My tone wasn't angry but it was forceful. I guess the tone was forceful enough; Jack apologized and went back to his buddies at their table.

An hour later Cassidy said she had to get home, "I'm not a person of leisure like you Patrick. I have to go to work tomorrow."

"Well, let this man of leisure give you a ride home," I suggested.

"I have my own car," she replied. She saw my disappointment and quickly said, "You can walk me to my car if you like."

We were standing by her car and before she got in I said, "I know its short notice but would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow night?"

"Hoped you might get around to asking me out so I put my address on the back of that card I gave you. Pick me up at 7. Okay?" She smiled leaned up, gave me a quick kiss, and got into her car. I watched her drive away and went back into Dooley's. About half way back I decided I'd had enough that evening and went home.

I was feeling good. In fact I was excited about my date with Cassidy. I enjoyed our evening together; she was a special person. Then I remembered why I was dating her. Damn, why did I agree to that stupid plan of Riley's?

The dinner date was even better than the time spent together in Dooley's. There was no loud music, or drunks stumbling around; we were alone and could concentrate on each other. It was the first in a month long series of dates; we met at Dooley's two or three nights a week too. I kept my word to myself and didn't push for more than a few good night kisses. This whole operation wasn't what I thought it would be.

I learned that Cassidy liked to hike, camp, and fish or almost anything outdoors. "My girlfriends and co-workers think I'm nuts," she said. "I'd rather go camping on the weekends than do the bar scene. But it's tough to find company so I don't get to fish or camp too much."

"Maybe we'll just have to go camping next weekend to satisfy your craving." I saw a shadow pass over her face and quickly added, "Separate tents and sleeping bags of course." That put a smile back on her face.

We met at Dooley's on Wednesday evening to finalize our plans for a camping weekend. I told Cassidy I would pick her up about 5 AM Saturday for the two hour drive to the camp site.

"Where are we going?"

"A friend of my dad's has a farm with a great stream running thru it; my dad taught him how to work explosives years ago. I have a standing invitation to camp and fish there," I replied. I finished my drink and ordered a Coke.

"I just realized that you only have one drink a night. Why's that?"

"My job and alcohol don't mix. A blaster can't afford to have shaking hands when he prepares and wires explosive charges."

"But you're not working now."

"It's just a habit I've gotten into. Besides I don't like the loss of control that too much alcohol causes. I've seen too many people do stupid things when they drink too much. Just a quirk of mine," I told her shrugging my shoulders.

****************

We arrived at the camp site a little after 7 AM Saturday and after setting up the tent and organizing the camp, I suggested that we go up to the farm house and check in with my friend. As we drove toward the house I explained that Bill Jackson was a little hard of hearing from working with explosives for so long.

We pulled into the driveway in front of the house and Bill and his wife Milly came out to meet us. I introduced Cassidy to the Jackson's and we visited for about an hour. Bill and I lead the way back to my truck with Cassidy and Milly following.

Bill always talked in a loud voice because of his hearing problem. He put his arm around my shoulder and in what was supposed to be a whisper said, "She must be special Patrick. You've never brought a girl out here before. I think she's a keeper."

Cassidy and I returned to camp and spent the day hiking and swimming in the river. That evening we fished for a while but I guess the fish had already had dinner; we didn't get a single bite. After supper we sat around a campfire and talked. I put my arm around Cassidy and we laid back to look at the stars.

It must have been about 5 AM when I woke up. Cassidy was lying with her head on my left arm snuggled up against me. I gently pulled my arm from under her and got up. That's when the pain started; my arm was asleep. Cassidy woke up to see me shaking my arm trying to get some feeling back.

She giggled at my antics, forcing herself to stop laughing she said, "I'm sorry." But she started giggling again.

We tried fishing again with the same results. After fixing breakfast we took a hike and then broke camp and headed back to civilization. Cassidy turned to face me with her back against the door of the truck.

"Am I?" She asked.

"Are you what?"

"Am I special? I heard what Bill said to you yesterday; he doesn't whisper very quietly does he?" She chuckled and asked again, "So am I special?" Cassidy was smiling but I could see by the look in her eyes that she wanted an answer.

I didn't say anything for almost a minute. Still smiling she asked, "Well am I?"

It couldn't be avoided, I had to say something. "Bill was right; I've never brought another girl out to his place. I guess none of the women I've dated liked to fish or camp; maybe that's one reason I never had a long term relationship." This was going to be the tricky part; keep her interested without lying to her.

"I like you Cassidy, I mean what's not to like. A beautiful woman that likes the same type of music as I do, likes to fish and camp and do things outdoors, and is intelligent and fun to talk to. So in that aspect you are special. As far as a romantic connection well....I've fallen into an intense like for you. Let's just leave it at that for now."

Cassidy's smile faded away and I thought I'd blown it. With downcast eyes she asked, "You think I'm beautiful?"

I looked over at her and she started chuckling and smiling again. "Gotcha," she said and laughed at the look on my face. I couldn't help but laugh too.

After dropping Cassidy at her apartment I went to my place; actually it was my dad's. He was in Canada on a job and I wished he was home to talk to. The more I learned about Cassidy the more I wondered about some of the things Riley had said about her. He said she was always touching him and teasing him; other than holding my hand sometimes she'd never been overly touchy feely. Riley said she was high maintenance and always asked him to take her to expensive restaurants; our dates had been mostly for pizza or small mom and pop type places.

I couldn't picture the girl I had spent the night with on the river bank as the high maintenance woman he talked about. Riley said Cassidy was always pointing out rings and jewelry that she like and hinting that he should get them for her; Cassidy wore a small gold locket and one ring every time we were together.

Something wasn't adding up here. Either she was playing me or .....well, I don't know what. Time to talk to Riley again, I thought. I called his house, got his voice mail and left a message for him to call me ASAP.

The next day I called Cassidy to ask if she wanted to meet at Dooley's Wednesday evening. She said she couldn't, that it was month end closing at her job and she'd be working late all week.

"How about dinner and a movie Saturday?"

Cassidy hesitated a few seconds and said, "I'm sorry Patrick, I already have plans for Saturday."

"Oh, okay. I guess I'll see you around," I replied.

"Please don't be upset; it's not like that. There's a company awards dinner Saturday and I made this date before I met you. I have to go, it's a company thing, and it wouldn't be fair to Steve to cancel this close to the dinner," she explained.

"No big deal, give me a call when you're free. Bye Cassidy."

"But Patrick......" I hung up before hearing what she had to say.

How had it come to this I asked myself? According to the plan Cassidy was supposed to be falling for me and instead I'm running around like a love sick puppy. Some player I am. Get your head back in the game chump.

That evening Riley returned my call. He agreed to meet me at Toby's Bar and Grill the next evening after he got off work. I told him I needed to clarify some things.

"You're not wimping out on me are you buddy?" he asked.

"Hey, remember who you're talkin too Riley. I'll see you tomorrow night."

I spied Riley at a back booth when I walked into Toby's. A waitress had just delivered his drink to him and he motioned with his glass to see if I wanted one. I shook my head and sat down.

"I'm not here to drink Riley. Tell me again about all the crap Cassidy put you through," I ordered.

He went through the whole song and dance again; Cassidy teased him, led him on, had him take her to expensive places and then shined him on.

"You sure that's the way it happened?" I asked. He nodded and I said, "Okay be ready, this is going to end soon." I left Toby's and started home but decided to go to Dooley's instead. I didn't really need a drink but I didn't want to sit at home watching TV.

I was in a booth nursing my one drink of the night when Sarah Jackson sat down across from me. "Batchin it tonight Patrick? Where's Cassidy?"

"She's working late all week, something about month end closing. I stopped by for a drink and some noise. It's took quiet at home with Dad gone."

I looked at Sarah for a couple of minutes until she said, "What?"

"Tell me what you know about Riley and Cassidy dating and their break up."

"What break up? As far as I know Riley and Cassidy went out at most five or six times, actually it was more like two times. The other times there was a whole group of us and he happened to sit next to Cassidy," Sarah replied.

"I heard they were hot and heavy."

"Never happened. As I said Riley put a move on Cassidy when we were out in a group. They went out on couple of real dates and that was it. Cassidy told me all about it. She said that he asked her to go to some kind of company thing with him she said no and told him she thought of him as a friend; noting more. Riley didn't take being just her friend very well."

"I heard he asked Cassidy to marry him."

"Bullshit," she responded. I don't know........Oh now I see," she said almost to herself.

"See what? C'mon give Sarah."

"I go over to Toby's a couple of nights a week; Riley's been hangin out there lately. He's been braggin to his bar buddies that he was gonna get payback on some girl that dumped him. I never put it together until now."

Sarah saw the stunned look on my face and asked, "Where you been gettin your information Patrick? Whoever's been telling you all this stuff is full of it."

I started to get angry and could feel my face getting red. Chugging my drink, I raised my glasses to the waitress for another one. Normally guys in my profession aren't very excitable or overly aggressive; the ones that are don't live very long. We have to be calm, collected, and fairly laid back.

But I was getting mad, ass kicking mad and Riley was going to provide the ass. My drink arrived but before I could pick it up, Sarah put her hand on mine.

"What's got you so upset Patrick? I've never seen you take more than one drink a night. It bothers you that Riley dated Cassidy?"

I looked at Sarah for a few seconds and started to calm down. "Yeah, but not the way you think," I answered. I pushed my drink away; alcohol wasn't the answer to the problem.

"You never get this upset," Sarah said. "Even back in the day when you got into a fight now and then; it was more like a surgical strike than an angry reaction. We're friends Patrick; let me help if I can."

Looking at Sarah I thought, it's too bad there's no real spark between us. She would make a hell of a girlfriend, fiancé, or wife. But we were just good friends, and I felt lucky to have that.

"Okay mama, I'll tell you all about it. So I told Sarah to whole scenario; Riley's lies, me agreeing to help him and the plan. "There's just one little problem. Instead of getting Cassidy to fall for me, I fell in love with her."

Sarah gave me a surprised look, "Oh my God. The player actually fell for someone." She looked down, shook her head, and asked, "How could you be so dumb? You've always looked out for Riley. You overlooked the kind of person he is because he's your friend. But I've got to tell you he's a total scumbag. Right now he's over at Toby's bragging about what you doing for him."

"You have to promise me that it goes no further. I'll handle it."

"Okay, what are you going to do?"

"First I have to tell Cassidy the truth and hope she doesn't hate me. Then I'll deal with Riley." I leaned over and kissed Sarah on the cheek. "Thanks for talking with me buddy. I'll see you soon."

The next evening I stayed at my place. I didn't want to go to Toby's and run into Riley; I had plans for him later. And I didn't want to go to Dooley's; I didn't want to see Sarah or accidently run into Cassidy. My mind was going around and around about what I'd let Riley get me into. The phone rang and broke the circle.

"Hi Patrick, its Cassidy."

I was a little shocked; I mean I'd been sitting here thinking about her and now she calls. "Hi kid, how are you?"

"Okay. Look I hope you didn't get the wrong idea about this Saturday and Steve. Like I said, I made the date before I met you. By the time I realized how much I like you it was too late to break the date with Steve. It wouldn't have been fair."

"I know, its okay girl."

"You do know that I'd have rather gone to dinner with you, don't you?" Cassidy continued without waiting for my answer, "This is sorta weird, but would you like to go to the awards dinner with me Saturday?"

"What about being fair to good old Steve?" I have to admit I was a little upset, second string, not me.

"Please don't be like that. I already told you, I'd rather be with you. Steve broke his leg and can't go so I thought I'd ask my first choice to go with me."

My first thought was hell no; I didn't want to be a substitute for good old Steve. Get your head out dummy, I said to myself; she's already explained what happened. I must have taken more than a few seconds thinking because Cassidy said, "Patrick, are you still there?"

"Yeah, sorry. I'd like to spend the evening with you, even if it is at an awards dinner. Do I need a tux?"

"No, a nice suit is fine. Pick me up at 6, okay."

"Okay, see you then." I hung up and wondered if this was a good idea. Then I realized that this would probably be the last time I'd be with Cassidy. When I told her about Riley's plan and my part in it, she'd be really mad and upset. Can't blame her. I planned to confess on Wednesday at Dooley's.

When I told her there were several things that could happen. My first choice was that she would say it didn't matter, that she still cared for me and we could go on together; not likely. She could say that it didn't matter either way, we were just dating; no harm no foul. Again not likely. My worst fear and this is probably what would happen, was that she would be hurt and never want to see or talk to me again.

Explosive ordinance guys don't have much need for suits so the next day I went out and bought a nice suit; the condemned man might as well be well dressed. Saturday rolled around and I when I pulled up in front of Cassidy's place she came out to meet me. This couldn't be the same girl that wore jeans and a tee shirt when we went camping.

Cassidy wore a dark green dress or gown; I'm not sure of the difference. Whatever it was she looked fantastic. The dress was sort of form fitting and left her shoulders bare; showing off an abundance of freckles; it showed just enough cleavage to tease a little. The color set off her mane of auburn hair and her green eyes. She looked sexy and classy and all around beautiful.