Icarus

"Icarus, please," she begged. That was his internet handle. He told her his real name before, but she never made an effort to remember. Online, she had an excuse to say that real names felt awkward. In reality, that was just a convenient cover for how she really felt.

She never told anyone because she knew they'd think it was strange. She felt like she wasn't good enough to be addressing anyone by their name. That felt more like it was meant for those on equal footing. She always felt beneath them. Internet handles it would be.

***

He was drunk. She never talked to someone close when they were drunk before. She led a very sheltered life. No drinking, no swearing, no sexual conversations... She didn't know that drunk people could behave differently.

"What if I told you I thought you were sexy because you're submissive?" He asked.

She was taken aback. Was it wrong for him to have those thoughts? She wasn't sure... Nobody had ever called her sexy before, it sounded strange, almost dirty.

"Well... I... I don't know about sexy, that sounds wrong." She had no idea what a terrible thing to say that was.

"Maybe you shouldn't talk to me anymore then, I'm not a good influence on you."

"Please, Icarus! I... I enjoy talking to you, and pleasing you, and doing things for you!" She really had no idea what 'pleasing' could imply. Again, very sheltered life.

"No, I'm not a good influence on you. You'd be better off not talking to me. I'm going to sleep. Good night."

She couldn't stop him. She didn't have the will to go against what he said.

"Good night, Icarus.. I'm sorry."

She went to bed in tears. She had to find a way to make it up to him.

The next day she asked him what being under the influence could mean. They were talking again, at least. He told her she should take everything with a grain of salt. She didn't know what that meant.

"Just tell me you didn't mean that you thought I was actually sexy... everything else was fine." She thought that would be okay. Little did she know...

"I can't say it's not true. I should have never told you that. Like I said, maybe we shouldn't talk anymore."

Shoot, shoot, shoot! Wrong direction!

"No, wait! Please, it's okay, even if you think that," she tried to salvage the situation. Her mind about being 'sexy' to someone instantly changed when she realized he might stop talking to her.

"No, clearly you didn't like how I felt about you."

"What can I do to make it up to you? Please tell me, anything!"

"Anything is a lot. Don't promise what you won't do." She saw hope in his statement.

"Please please, Icarus, just tell me what you want. I'll try my best if it's in my power to do so, I promise."

She waited. And waited. Finally his response appeared.

"You can make yourself orgasm for me, I guess."

She was taken aback. She didn't think he would go for anything sexual after that whole conversation, but... this was her chance. She would do anything in her power. Just one problem...

"I... I'm not sure what an orgasm is, I don't know if I've ever done it."

"Nevermind. I'm going to sleep."

"Wait!" she panicked. "If... if it's just, when you touch yourself and... and you all of a sudden have a buildup and peak, is that it?"

"If you don't want to do it just say so."

"No, no, please, Icarus, I want to do it. For you. Please let me try?"

"Sure, then."

He had shown her what it meant to be submissive, without having to tell her himself. She read many stories, she tried to filter through them all to figure out what she should say, how she should act. She didn't even know if he himself was into those things... 'BDSM' as she had come to find out it was called.

"Umm... may I start now, sir?" she asked tentatively. She hoped it would please him.

"Sir, huh? Yes you may."

She thought he was just intrigued at being called "sir".

"Do... do you want to know when I'm close or anything?" She had never done this before.

"Sure, why not." God, she couldn't get a read on him at all.

She imagined being tied up, being helpless. She imagined being at the mercy of another, spread eagle on a bed. Her imagination was still limited. She imagined her tormenter causing her pain, increasing the intensity while she begged for him to stop, that she'd do anything, be his slave forever. That's where her fantasy ended.

"I... I'm close."

"Okay." She had to stop. She read enough to know that submissives shouldn't finish without permission.

"Should... should I keep going?"

"If you want." She continued.

She remembered his original demand, to orgasm for him.

"May... may I?" she asked, hoping that was enough. The words she read in the stories sounded crude.

"You're asking me permission?" She was relieved he respected her sheltered space even if just a little.

"Yes... yes please, may I please?" She was losing focus. She hadn't stopped again when she got close.

"No." She had to stop right away then, for she had started building up to the expected 'yes' she thought for sure he would say. She had to remember that her ultimate goal was to please him. She was thrilled to be denied if that's what he wanted, as long as she could perform his desires.

"I... I'm sorry, sir, I had to stop."

"Do you want to stop then?"

"No! Please, I mean... I want to do whatever will make you happy. Will that please you? I just want you to be happy..." She wasn't very creative with her words.

"Keep yourself as close as you can. You can take breaks if you need to."

She did just that. She always edged herself when she masturbated, though she didn't know that's what she was doing. It was just more exciting that way. She was well practiced at keeping herself right on the edge... and it was driving her crazy now.

"Can... can I beg?"

"Yes."

***

And so we end up where we started.

"Icarus, please!" Her mind was so jumbled she reverted to calling him by name.

"Please, what?" He was toying with her and she hated it.

"Please... please... I'm so close, I've been close. I just want to please you." Even when typing she always found a way to babble. All thoughts of modesty were gone. Her mind was not used to this feeling, she never edged for so long before.

"Ask me properly and maybe I'll let you."

"Please don't make me..."

"It's up to you, if you don't want to orgasm, I can't make you. It's getting late anyway, maybe you should just go to sleep."

She was almost in tears. She had to finish. That was what would make him happy. He said so himself. She needed to finish for him. She typed out the magic words.

"Please, sir, please may I come?" she hoped that was right.

"Good girl, but no." She didn't know someone could feel both elated and devastated at the same time.

"You can stop now." She took it as a command and stopped.

"Please, Icarus.. I want to make you happy," she pleaded, "I would have done it for you, please let me make you happy!"

"We can talk again tomorrow. I'm going to bed now, good night." He ignored her pleas.

She was sobbing in person, but she knew she had to let him go, if that's what he wanted. She didn't understand why he wouldn't let her fulfill his task to please him.

"Good... good night, Icarus." He signed off.

She didn't finish herself off afterwards. She punished herself for not being able to please him even though she gave up so much of her mind for him. She wondered if he was even dominant, or if her mannerisms just annoyed him. With those thoughts in mind, she drifted off to sleep.

Little did she know... Icarus was very dominant, and had been very pleased. He would show her a whole new world for her submissiveness to flourish. The door was open now.

* * *

Please vote or comment if you have the time. This is my first try at something more... erotic.