All Comments on 'Ice Heart Ch. 04'

problem and maybe it was just me. I had one hell of a time keeping track of who all the characters were. It certainly was an interesting, extended family. Thanks for the work and for posting this story of redemption, and romance.

The story was definitely pretty good. The only problem was that I could not really remember who everybody was. There have got to be more than 50 people in there, and I had to constantly remind myself who was who and what was their role in the story. This was kind of distracting. But apart from that, all is cool...

A suggestion: next time, try as much as possible to have each name start from a different letter, and names that, for some reason, do begin from the same letter, should have different sexes So no Alicia, April, Ann Marie. That way there is a slight possibility of us remembering who is who...

I like the story line, but also was a little confused on the flow trying to remember who's who, when the it shifted between characters. Thanks for a good read.

Thank-you. Well told.

well, i liked how it ended. very positive.

A little confusing with the changes in point of view and the passing of time, etc.

Well done.

or did the dialogue get more and more "rustic" with each chapter posted?

You really need to signal breaks in dialog. For example, Alicia and Nicole are talking at the school and then all of a sudden it's Alicia and April talking at the school. It totally disrupts the story as the reader tries to figure out what happened. This is especially true because of the number of characters involved in this story. Very confusing.

<br><br>Surprise, surprise, when Nicole became a decent human being instead of a bitch Cris was able to reconnect to her and become a huge support to her. He helped turn her life around. The original theme of this story was that Cris was withdrawn from the people around him and hints that it was his fault for having an "ice heart". His original wife, daughter Nicole, and in-laws were horrible people. I don't know many people who could have gone through the crap they dumped on him and been OK afterward. But despite the damage his inner good nature keeps slipping out and he tries to help the people around him. When Nicole finally gets her head out of her ass and Cris finally joins with Alicia Cris becomes the focal point for getting everyone's lives on track. All that had to happen was for all of them to appreciate the positive force that Cris is in their lives instead of pursuing the bad people and choices they had been making. A simple lesson that many people refuse to heed. It was good to see Cris happy in the end.

The last two chapters were a bit wearing and I did not have a scorecard.

I had a little trouble following this. Okay, I had more than a little trouble. I dug into the archives and re-read all three previous chapters, just to bring myself up to speed with all the characters again. I agree with previous posts that it would have been better to use separators to mark the shifts in action/characters. It IS a good story, bordering on warm fuzzies, although the emphasis on the 'jewels in the crown' aspect was a little overdone.

But if you carefully read the story, you'll find that there's a multitude of sub-stories in the main story.

I thought the work was very interesting and just erotic enough to keep me reading, but the lives of the characters were good enough to stand alone without the erotica.

Well done and I appreciated the good read

The cracker please part made me laugh. Fitting ending.

Despite that I still struggled through to the end. ?The story really carried me even though I had to refer back to prior chapters to keep the characters straight.

I liked how you tied the stories together but it makes me sad that Paul is not happy. Is it because he never got to Marry Cindy?

Actually, more than just good; it was really good. <p>

Like I said last chapter, the erratic writing nature of it, the composition of the story, actually blend well with the erratic nature of all the characters in the story. <p>

'Tis been one of the few stories I've read where the tightness of the composition (flow, sequence, transition, grammar, etc.) was totally secondary to the broad thrust of the story, composing a cast of characters of broken and nasty people who persisted, against their better judgement, in doing good things, and doing them quite SERRENDIPITOUSLY, triumphantly at the end.... <p>

Very interesting approach, yes. Thank you.

Anyone who has read Jimbob's other stories will know all about his "Full speed ahead and damn the torpedoes" style of pushing the story forward. Spelling, grammar, syntax etc. - who cares, as long as the story moves along. You get used to it.

Another great story, thankyou, but why oh why did you drag Paul down to the level of a drunk? Cindy is obviously still in his life and I thought his character was stronger than that - more like what we saw in his interaction with Sweet William and Paulie.

Hammerlane

Despite the nasty little sub-plots with Alicia, April and Jimbo, it's a pretty decent story overall. Chapter 3 wasn't that nice but I can see Chapter 4 easily redeeming the story. The only reason I'd say it's not perfect is because few if anything can ever be 100% perfect. But this is close to there! The main problem with the story would be character management.

If you write in a lot of characters, you have to at least explain or remind readers who they are again. You don't have to reintroduce them at every moment with a paragraph, but if they are minor characters you can just use a sentence such as "the office manager" or "the secretary" or "the boss of the fast-food restaurant"; just put apply them to specific contexts and it would be easier to remember. It's just too complicated for a reader to keep track otherwise.

I would go on to say that you should probably write a submission with the Degarde universe list of stories, and possibly the chronological order of story event timelines; it would be great for us readers to know which stories belong with this. :) Anyway, I thank you for the read, it was really enjoyable, and I didn't stay up until 1am in the morning reading your stories for nothing! :)

Your best to date, imho. I like your writing style. Reminds me of Spillane, believe it or not. Keep 'em comin. Thanks.

The dialogues between Sweet William, Cris, and Sandra were very entertaining! You could see that they had a great friendship. They cared enough about each other to tell each other exactly what they needed to hear, not what they wanted to hear.

You could see the same type of interactions from the brief glimpse into Paul, Pam, Paulie, and Barbara's interaction.

But the best part was Christopher Michael's "Cracker, please!" comment. I haven't heard that line before and it had me cracking up, especially the "melt in your mouth..." explanation from a 6 year old....too funny!

You actually managed to tie it all together and found redemption for almost everyone, the few exceptions being the characters that never figured out they needed it - well done -

Very touching growth in Chris - Alicia remained true to her mature but developed well and seems the most well adjusted of the lot.

Love the future chapters for the next generation heh

loved the story . Fuck any body who says otherwise .

I have to say though that a rarely read a story where there where so many low life idiots. Even the protagonist was dumb as shit, despite you telling us otherwise. Good writing though.

I read for enjoyment and my best indicators are if I can't stop until I'm at the end and I reread it several times. This is such a story

Thanks

Liked the story.

this is almost as good as some real down home cajun gumbo. almost, but not quite. thanks....

I like everything except the part about Paul drinking till he passed out, embarrassing Pam and Cindy. That just didn't seem to fit his character.

Loved everything about this story. Really well written and so very engaging

but i had to read it all in one sitting. very much like a dickens web of characters. liked the guy getting killed after fucking the model, would have liked a little more blood and screaming for him but still a very good read. high 5 time for this one.

did he have to forgive his ex-wife? I don't see the point to it. What she had done, she had done and nothing she could say or do would change that.

I don't give a damn what anyone else says, this is a great story. Really enjoyed it.

you are good dude !!!! absolutely fuckin brilliant!!!!

Thanks.

A little tough to follow all the names but a terrific tale with well developed main characters and a very interesting story line.

Thank you.

Ice Heart is one of my favorite stories!I would of liked to have seen what would have happaned after April died and jaimie moved in with Cris and his family.Would of liked to have seen how the blended family got along as the kids got older.Perhaps some conflict with Jaimie learning to adjust living with her new family?Do you have any other stories involving any charactors from Ice Heart in them?I really liked the charactor of Cris and how opening his heart to love changed other's lives as well as his own.How the people that did him or his loved ones wrong seem to meet a grim fate such as his ex wife,her parents,Tom,Zack,Jimbo,April..If Chris did not change his heart,other's lives would not be the same.What an impact one person can make in this world!Thankyou for sharring your wonderful,can't stop reading stories!

Probably your best piece of work . still I suppose I had better read all the others just to make sure

This mindless and disconnected prattle read like it just come out of annals from asylum for insane. Weird.

"1*" !

Great story but this extended family is going to need a spreadsheet to keep the blood lines sorted out.

there were a lot of characters it did get confusing bouncing back and forth, but over all a good story one of the best

Good read, personally I wanted it to go on more to Chris and Sophia life they're cute together

It was a long story without any characters I could latch on to. I like a story to have a good sympathetic character. None of these met that bill, for me.

Generally, though it was fairly well written .. Except that I got lost sometimes keeping all the characters straight. Maybe it could have been better without so may threads.

so Meh!

Kept me smiling through.

It was nice to see the characters mature and Cris turn into a caring father-grandfather.

Alicia was an angel.

Long, too many characters for me, too much death, too many kids.

But damn, it was great reading! (from one Grandpa to another... ;)

Depressing as hell. I enjoy a good yarn and everything doesn't always have to be happy, joy joy. But I don't think there was a decent character to like in this whole mess. Ina the end, it simply wasn't entertaining or fun to read.

the story had started to improve despite the awkward dialogue. Wasn't sure if the author was striving to mimic a certain dialect, or if he was simply a poor writer. This story was very ambitious, covering a lifetime of storylines. Unfortunately, the ending went downhill and I didn't have the heart to finish it. It got boring in this chapter.

Almost but not quite. Too disjointed, too hard to read. Lousy, unlikable characters, totally fucked people making poor decisions. Kind of like watching a multicar pile up, ugly, stupid, but hard not to watch. Yuck.

It was long,it was jumpy,it had too many characters,yet, I liked it.

I, especially liked the characters of Sweet William, Sandra & Fred Dumas.

5 stars for the whole series. Thanx.

Tears, real and actual. You weave a twisted tale, but this was an amazing series. Thank you.

Disjointed scripts can be quite irritating and tends to disrupt the connecting flow from one situation to the next. It gives the impression that the whole story is made up of several vignettes interwoven to the beginning and the ending. 

Whatever strong emotional feelings that one have at the beginning, like betrayal or cheating, seemed to lose strength as the main characters got involved in their own little vignettes. The story meandered into areas which favoured sex over moral integrity until it got lost in interpretation (to the confused reader) as to what the message was that it intended to impart. When it becomes obvious that all the reader wants is for the story to come to a happy ending, it obliged with a anti-climatic close. 

I could not stop reading once I started. Yeah, it's hard to follow with constant character shifts but a good writer expects the reader to work some. I was constantly reminded of the dimensions and experiences of each character as you jumped about. All '5' scores. Keep it up. Great storyteller.

if you find this style of story irritating, then yo ass is Lazy, you have become a fat cat demanding perfection for free, i felt it was perfect, & you clever SoB, DUMAS, was a great homage to Alexandre Dumas(the count of monte cristo).

i just felt as if i lived through the story, i do agree sometimes your style of writing gets a bit on the nerves, but for this plot it just seemed perfect. i have read so many good stories here, plus though this story may be fiction, parts & most of the story was somebodies reality, specially Cam Pao, japan only recently apologised to the use of forced sex workers during world warII they called them comfort women,

its a shame that to this day/minute somebody somewhere is loosing their basic human rights & dignity, if they are lucky they die, the unlucky ones usually live.

sorry to bum you guys, but to me this is a story that shows us, to forgive is not to forget, but to let go of the hatred you harbor toward a person that did something hurful.

The first time i read a death row inmate forgiven by the victim/survivors was by pope john paul, i dismissed it as "ofcourse, he's the pope he has to forgive"

then over time, i read so many stories about familes/relatives/survivors forgiving the convicted perpetrators.... i understood what i read but could not accept, slowly as time passed i did wrong & was wronged i learnt how revenge takes a lot more for what it gives you,

thank you for writing... you touch people's lives & make this world a tad bit bearable.

Why exactly did he forgive his ex-wife for doing what she did? She'd done nothing to earn forgiveness. Neither her nor Nicole. They just suffered for the choices that they made of their own free will. I honestly can't understand how that is worthy of being forgiven for being so heinous towards him.

Not to mention, Sandra meddling in his life when it's clear he didn't want it.

Why is this presented as a good thing?

I'm genuinely confused about this whole mess. Why would anyone have any sort of empathy or sympathy for people that fucked them over as bad as they did him?

Loved this story. It was a bit rough at first but I loved the build up I loved the road of hate and anger that lead to a road of new life and forgivingness. well done indeed

this was a very good story by itself, but it was good to see Alicia found the happiness she deserved after the way Tony treated her in "Breaking the family". keep writing good stuff.

I enjoyed it a lot

It's a great story with great characters and I'm in awe of your ability to weave the story lines together into a Louisiana/Cajun regional tapestry. The regional flavor isn't spice added to the stew, it's the stock the whole stew is based on. Please keep going! I haven't read all your stories (some are in categories I just can't do) but I can see these people in an ensemble cast playing Northern Exposure meets Fargo and slams int Duck Dynasty kinda show!

Yes, it's difficult to keep track of all the threads. A few more signposts, formatting cues, and editing would help the dullards like me keep up. Still, if I could give 6 stars I would.

To the people who think Cris shouldn't have forgiven Anne Marie, I understand your point, but wonder what is necessary for forgiveness? Anne Marie and Nicole were not the same people they were originally. They learned and changed and honestly expressed heartfelt regret for what they did. Other than going forward as a better person, how could they make amends? What could they do for Cris to balance the scales? Insisting that everything in life come out even sounds like middle-child tit-for-tat ledger keeping. Thank goodness we don't all get what we deserve, thank goodness for grace and forgiveness in this world.

Cris' journey is also remarkable. From self-sacrifing father/husband, (which is a strength, but with a taste of milquetoast sp?) to alpha male dickhead, to confident leader of his clan. Anyone who has friends and colleagues like Sweet and Sandra should get down on their knees and thank the Lord for them.

One meme in many many stories is the wealthy guy. Just like every long-running poker game has to have a wealthy player to subsidize the game and keep it going, many stories need the protagonist to be wealthy enough to wreak devastation and rain down revenge, or to play fairy godmother and make everything right. Sometimes it's hard for a cowboy and plowboy working 60 hours a week to imagine myself giving $250K to my daughter and son-in-law, even though I would love to be able to. I'll admit, I like to imagine myself as the hero! But I wish there was more stories where an average guy makes life better for his loved ones in other ways than writing a check. (Ok, that's enough sour grapes from me!)

Please keep up the excellent work!

Thanks,

hillcountrycowboy

I enjoyed your ability to keep this all up in the air and blend it together as smoothly as you did. I didn't like the story in its entirety but you made for easy reading. The characters were real and the storyline complex with a protagonist that was extremely lucky to have a phenomenal secretary. I liked and disliked the characters for varying reasons but I felt the story was too complex. In spite of not liking this story, I couldn't help but give this author five stars for boundless adherence to storyline and character development. There is no way to do this without focus and extreme use of time and energy putting something like this together. I felt the story spent too much time on other characters. I felt the author could've stayed more focused on the protagonist and much less on the others. How that would be accomplished and make sense is beyond me. I am not a writer but an avid reader. Thank you for your enormous effort!!

Enjoyed this story to the max! All the coon ass craziness gets to me every time. Thanks for this. Make a great Netflix series!

I'm going back and gradually rereading your old stuff. I miss the thrill of finding a JimBob44 story in new submissions. I almost forgot the Ice Heart series - it's been a few years. Great multi-faceted story - comic and tragic, retribution and redemption, a sprawling epic. Thanks again.

the coon ass literotica f'ing War and Peace. Impressive.

I hated how you ended the prequel* story having Tony use and dump Alicia like that was pretty horrible. I pretty wrote you off after that, but always try to give the author at least 1 more story/series to make up my mind for sure.

This series more than made up for that and this was really interesting and surprised you were able to keep the story so good after the first chapter. Looking forward to reading more of your stories.

Read. Definitely one of the literotica classics!

Yep, made me cry again

Another great series. You are very good with your story’s.

This story moved me to tears in several places.

Which is you need to put out a recommended reading order. Took me a bit to realize this Alicia was the one from Breaking the Family. Loved that you followed up but I wish I didn’t have to figure it out myself.

Overall this series was amazing. I really really loved how the characters changed and grew over the course of the story.

Loved the story, and the characters. This is a story in all likelihood is plausible. Balanced with as much heartbreak and misery along with funny and witty parts. Looking forward to reading more from you.

A truly outstanding series, thank you for sharing it with us.

After they met April it was a pretty creepy reversal fuck, it didn't seem much different than when Buddy creamed himself after Alicia told him about how Jimbo and April used her.

Well told story with a lot of interesting plot twists and intertwined characters. I know there is more to this story though, lol. Overall a good read even though yes it could use just a bit of editorial help but, really well done!

After reading all four sections, I walked away feeling this was something of a combination of A Christmas Carol, with Cris being the one redeemed in place of Scrooge, and the soap opera Days of Our Lives, cuz shit just kept happening (leukemia, AIDS, shootings). Still, it fit together very well and was a good story.

I was wondering if it felt like a bit of the 3 musketeers meshed with the Count of Monte Cristo. But nah, it obviously wasn't a French period piece. It did however become a epic story, with real human struggles. I truly loved it, it wasn't like allot of the stories you see when the character switches from anger to forgiveness in one paragraph, with no progression. This showed allot of progression with great characters that helped each other along the way.

I found it tough to keep certain characters straight. I am not sure how to elaborate since I always have trouble with proper structure.

. I was a skeptical about the story from the beginning. I am glad to say I stuck it out.

Loved the story, hated the ending

Fun stuff.

Ann Marie turned out well. She did not crawl back to Cris, Thankfully. Nicole, grew up and seems to be a good person now. The rest were just extras that I did not care about. According to a commenter I read, Alicia, has a back story that I need to read about. All in all I did not think this was the best story you have wrote. I still rated it highly.

There are too many unnecessary characters at the end. Hard to keep track of.

Tom did not get his due.

For me the story ended in the middle of page 1 of this Chapter when Cris and Ann Marie forgive each other. I found no purpose to the rest of the story.

One of my favorite stories. Every few months I go back and read this again. I enjoy the words and phrases. Thanks for the time you put in to your writing.

Epic story, and one of JB44's longest and best. Too many great, tragic characters to name.

I have read this full story numerous times and still laugh and cry every time

I'm undecided on this story, yes it's very well written and I don't think there were any typo's or gramma problems. I really didn't like the Cris character he started off as some sort of sad character who just gave into anything his wife and daughter wanted. Which doesn't make sense given his supposed background as a harden oilman who had worked as a rigger and mudder. Then when his wife and daughter leave him he transforms into some sort of hard hearted shit.

When I started the story I thought it was going to do a serious exploration of a man who suffers an emotional upheaval and what his thoughts and feelings would be and how they would develop how he would recover his self respect. Instead it seems to be no more than a story that appeals to scum BTB trolls and domestic abusers.

The Cris character actively celebrates all the unhappiness that befalls his ex-wife, daughter and his ex-wife's family. Given how they felt about him perhaps the character can be forgiven for this reaction. But when you think about how he handled his marriage and his daughter allowing himself to effectively become a doormat for them it seems natural that they would lose all respect for him.

What happened to his life is entirely his fault. Respect is earned not just from providing for the family but in being strong for them as well. In a way Cris seemed to be trying to buy his families respect by giving them everything they wanted and in the end they just kept taking.

I am not a writer or critic. Enjoyed this story. It's my second reading of this story.

Enjoyed story, but it was chaotic. Had trouble hanging on to the current character and understanding who was who.

once again, awesome story with great character development, complex plot. And a good ending!

This was a good story

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I started having a lot of trouble keeping all the kids straight and a few of the late editions…like Pam and Cindy…I get that they were Trish’s friends/roommate but were they a thriller with Paul? As one a in law? But good story the MC was nearly hopelessly bitter and I’m glad he clawed himself back from the brink

That's one hell of a trip you just took me on. Thank you.

That was ... interesting. That Christopher Michael kid knows a little too much for his age. Like way too much.

HATED THIS STORY!!! TOO MANY SKANKS FOR CHRIS!! TOO MANY INTERFERING ASSHOLES LIKE SWEET AND SANDRA TELLING CHRIS WHAT TO DO!!

I have read through this story twice and enjoyed it. JimBob44 always so many characters and it gives his stories such life.

It got a little hard to follow at times but another 5...

... overall, another great work of yours !

EastCoaster

God I love your writing, absolutely love your stories... I've never read a story where I actually felt bad for the slut... the sluts in these LW stories usually aren't redeemable..... but this story I felt bad for everyone except Tom. I've read this story over 10 times and I still get the same reaction. It's funny, it's sad.. it's emotional.. especially the part where Ann Marie died. I tear up everytime at that part.. yes she was a selfish slut for what she did to cris. She discarded a good man that would've been there for her when she needed him for a man that just wanted her money.. but she learned from her mistakes.. I liked that "hot and bothered" talk she had with her daughter, to save her from making the same mistakes that she did. I also enjoyed Nicole.. couldn't stand her at first but she matured.. she definitely wasn't the same selfish self entitled little slut she was 4 yrs ago.. this is one of my favorite stories from you.. it keeps you thinking even after the story is done. When there's absolutely nothing good to read on here, I will go and re read this story and a few others from you I like. I look forward to your stories... please don't stop writing.. you're awesome

That was one of the best I’ve read on Literotica. Well done!

Could have been much much better if the story hadn't gone too much of rail.

In attempt of making realistic it had gotten bizzare.

Too much spin offs and most of the times hard to follow a character.

Too much inconsistencies.

I loved it. Loved your characters and everything.

Hard to read.

Alot of 'scen changes' ( with no context) and alot of names mentioned briefly then brought back later with no context.

I tried, I really did, made it half way through chp 4 and gave up.

To much bouncing around, hard to follow story.

Love this story every time.

Boy what a story ... if you don't read all 4 chapters 1 after the other you would just get lost keeping track of each character as they move in and out of the story. Hard read in some places ... read something and said "what just happened and who is this ??? " then went back and reread. Good story ... great characters ... not the easiest read.