If I Knew Then... Ch. 02

She gave me a dazzling grin and said "I am not a thing, poor or otherwise, and I like being nude. If you want to help me warm up though you could swap places, and lie on top of me."

"Okay" I said, and slid to my right as she lifted her leg and moved it to my other side. I sat up and spun round, as she was kneeling there, and was just admiring the view of her tight round bottom for a moment when she said "Damn!" "What?" "There is a mark on the carpet"

I looked where she pointed. A small damp spot about an inch across was darkening the carpet a little, just below where my balls had been sitting. I realised I was soaked in her juices. I said "Hang on a minute, I'll go to the car. I have a towel." I pulled my trousers up and tucked in my shirt, and headed for the door, shifting the chair, and checking the corridor before dashing across the hall, out to the car and back with my swimming kit bag. There was no sign of Mike and I wondered where he was. Probably upstairs trying to hear us through the floorboards, wanking.

When I got back Jill was wearing her skirt and had her blouse and jumper back on, although the cuffs and collar and tie were not done up.

I knelt down with the towel to blot the carpet dry, and the mark seemed to lessen. Jill was kneeling beside me, still worried it would show. "I should have thought about it" she said. "I have heard jokes about the girl ending up sleeping on the wet bit, but I never really understood. I noticed last night of course, but then you had come too, and I suppose I didn't think I would be so messy. And I hadn't even thought about that, I was hoping we would do it again now, and you haven't come yet, and..."

"And it is all fine, look," I pointed at the now nearly dry mark "no-one will notice it, look there, someone has spilled coffee, or wine, and the bit by the patio doors is hardly clean -- this is an old carpet. And anyway we have a towel now, if you put it down underneath you..." I handed it to her, and she held it up and folded it in two, and started to spread it out. She was kneeling again, her bare legs covered to just above the back of her knee by her skirt. I reached out and lifted the material, to expose her bottom.

"Don't" she said, but she was obviously amused.

"Why not, it is pretty. In fact I have an idea" I was moving as I said it, my flies down, pushing down my trousers, my cock rapidly hardening, I was in between her legs, and folded the skirt up over her back. My cock was against her pussy in a moment, and I pushed it into her.

"Oh, you.." was all she said, as I pressed in deeply, and then drew back, only to press in again. She dropped to her elbows and I pushed her knees further apart with mine, pulling her buttocks open with my hands, driving my cock in to the hilt. She moaned and said "Oh that is so far inside me, oh my goodness." I began a series of deep fast strokes, gripping her hips and pulling her back onto me, and she joined in the rhythm, rocking forward and back to maximise the length of my cock sliding into her. I looked down at her as she knelt there in her dishevelled school uniform, skirt over her back, hair flying, a moan escaping her lips every time my balls slapped against her clit, her little pink asshole flexing just above the soft pink pussylips that clung to my shaft. It was a moment of glorious power, a realisation of the urge to dominate that every male mammal has. No wonder the Church said it was sinful to do it this way, even if you were married.

I could have come then, but I knew that this was her first time being taken from behind, and that many women find it less intimate, less of a bonding experience, especially when a man comes and they cannot see his face. And I understand that. The power-kick of drilling a woman from behind and planting your spunk in her is fun once in a while, but I like to be embraced when I come, not just spilling my seed into a hole. So as I got nearer I said, "I want to kiss you, roll over."

I made sure her skirt stayed pulled up, and she was on her back, with her leg thrown over to the other side of me, pussy and arms open, in half a second. I plunged back into her, cock and tongue, pussy and mouth, legs and arms entwined. With my hands gripping her shoulders to drive my hips down, I fell into a pattern of hard deep fast strokes, tempo rising until suddenly my knees gave way and my legs lost all control, and I was shooting deep inside her, out of my body, the universe shrinking to fit me in a tight embrace, over whelmed by the smell of her hair and clothes and fresh sweat and pussy juice, my come and her warm breasts, and the taste of her mouth. I forgot to breathe.

"Oh my god," she whispered, "Oh my god."

When I regained my breath I felt my cock shrinking inside her, and my hips starting to lock up with lactic acid. I had to move, and as I pulled out of her gently she sighed. I looked at her from above. "Warm now?" I said.

"Uh Huh." she nodded. "I didn't know you could do it like that."

"Nice?"

She looked unsure "Yeah. Different. Very deep." Then a look of mixed embarrassment and shock came over her and she said "I can't believe I just said that."

I was puzzled. "What do you mean?"

She looked very confused, and her voice cracked "I'm lying here with my legs open, talking about you having your cock in me. Two days ago I had never even seen a boy naked. I would never have let a boy do that. I, oh what am I doing?" She tried to sit up, drawing back from me, and then burst into tears.

Just past her shoulder, through the window, I caught a glimpse of Mike's face. He was standing in the garden watching us, grinning.

I hadn't time to think about him, although I wondered how long he had been there and what had he seen. I did register that he looked cold, although he was wearing a coat and his hand was gloved as he gave me a thumbs up sign as he walked out of sight.

Jill was on the verge of hysteria. Guilt and emotional exhaustion had struck her, and she fought me as I tried to hug her and comfort her, but I managed to hold her, and calm her enough to look at me and listen to me. I looked her in the eyes as I said in urgent honest passion "Listen to me Jill, just listen. I know you are upset. The last couple of days have been crazy. I never expected this. I never thought this would happen. But don't you dare think this is bad. No look at me. Look at me Jill. You are not bad. We are not bad. What we have done is not bad. You are wonderful, kind, generous and good. I know you Jill, there isn't a bad bone in your body. Now it has been all so fast and so big that I understand it is hard to think about, but I'm here with you, I'm not going away. I know what we have done is glorious, natural, the best thing that has ever happened to me. This is right. This is good."

Her eyes were less distant, her body still tense but not shaking, her tears had stopped, and she said "But..."

"No 'buts'. I don't care what anyone else says, parents, teachers, preachers, our friends. There is no bad in what we have done, no harm, only joy. And you deserve joy. You deserve to be happy, because you are a good person, and anyone who thinks less of you, or me is the bad guy. They are wrong. And I think a lot less of them."

She clung to me and buried her head on my chest, and said "Oh Sean its not just that. Oh I am so sorry. Oh Sean." she brought up her head and looked at me, "I lied to you." She buried her head, and sobbed.

"What do you mean, what's wrong, darling?" I said gently.

She looked up again, swallowed and tried to compose her face, and said in a brave, scared, small voice. "I'm not on the Pill." She looked right at me, her eyes full of fear and despair and shame, and I don't know what.

I sat there with my mouth open for a full three seconds. It doesn't sound long when you say it quick, but try counting it out slowly. You can do a lot of thinking in three seconds.

"Oh." I said. "Oohh kaay" I managed, still thinking fast and nodding as I drawled it out. Then my thoughts crystallised, and it was all resolved, and I knew what to say. I smiled, probably a fairly scared and shocked smile, but it was at least spontaneous. "Ok. Ahm, that's ok."

Jill had stiffened in my arms during those interminable seconds, and now her body relaxed, for half a moment before she wailed "What do you mean its ok? I might be pregnant! My parents will kill me! Dad will kill you! What will I do? They'll throw me out of school, I can't go to University, Oh, god its such a mess, and its all my fault, and ..."

I hugged her and smothered her to my chest again, and shushed her and said it would be fine, it's ok, don't worry.

"Don't worry!, what do you mean don't worry!" she said, pushing me back so so she could look at my face.

I took her face in my hands and said "Listen to me, ok? Alright, you may be pregnant, but we don't know if you are, and it is fairly unlikely. We have only done it twice, and the first time you had made me come just before so my sperm count was probably low, and that was only yesterday so they won't have built up much since. Also, when did you last have your period?" "What?" "When are you due? When would you be ovulating?" Jill looked at me with puzzlement, and a little anger "You sound like a doctor." I smiled "You know you said I looked fearless when I spoke in debates? I was scared to hell. Its what I do in a crisis. Now tell me, when was your last period?" She blushed, and I said gently "Look, every girl has them, its nothing to be embarrassed about. Ok, it isn't sexy, but it is part of sex, part of being a woman, and I am very pleased that you are a beautiful woman. My beautiful woman. But you are less likely to be pregnant if it was only a few days ago, or if you are due soon. It is in the middle of the month that you are most likely to be fertile. So when was it." She closed her eyes, counting, then opened them and said "Three weeks ago. I'm pretty regular now, so I'm due in the next week." "Well then, " I said, "you are past the middle, so it is not impossible but it is not so likely. But we can find out. There are test kits and all that. Although I think they don't work well for a few weeks, and your period is due before that, so we only have to wait a week and see."

"How can you be so bloody calm?" "Because there is nothing to be that worried about." I said and held up my finger to touch her lips as she started to protest. I went on "Ok, if you are pregnant, and that does not seem likely, but if you are, then what happens? Our parents will be a bit pissed off with us, but they won't kill us. Your parents love you, even if they are a bit strict, it is because they love you. They might say a few bad things and it could all be a bit horrible, but they will come round. Your father won't kill anyone. I might have to have a really difficult chat with him, but I'll be fine, and so will he. My mother will blame me and think you are adorable, because you are, and she'll be great about it all in a couple of months. Any way by the time we have to tell anyone my folks will have met you and know how wonderful you are, and your folks will have seen just what a good guy I am, so it will be easier. As for school, well its four months to the "A" level exams, so no one will know unless you get morning sickness, which might foul things up a bit, but there is no reason why you shouldn't be able to do them. Ok, it might be a good idea to delay University for year, since you will be due in, let's see, November, but that would give us time to sort things out, paint the nursery, that sort of thing. It will be fine. But it probably won't even happen."

"Paint the nursery?" she said in disbelieving whisper.

I stoked her cheek, and looked in her eyes and said "Yeah. Look, I know this is not what I said I had planned, but I meant it when I said I want kids, and I want to look after my wife, and give them all a great life. I would prefer not to be a father just yet, but if I am then I'll be good at it, I promise. And you will be a great mother, I know that. You will have beautiful babies, as long as the girls don't have my big nose."

She burst into tears again. When she got control of herself she said "But this is nonsense Sean. What would we do for money, where would we live? We can't do this?"

"I have money." I said.

"What?"

"I have money. I have rebuilt three cars in the last year, and sold them. I bought the Mini, and after a bit of a gamble on a couple of football matches and who would be the Christmas number one record, I was able to put ten grand away. I have bought another three cars to work on, and expect to make at least three thousand there, maybe six. And I have invested the rest. I have half share in a cafe -- I put in five grand. I'll be taking two this year in profits. I've put some into the stock market. I made six grand in the last four months. I expect to do seven or eight in the next four and then really make money once I have that to re-invest. I had planned to buy a house to live in at Uni anyway, renting out the rest of the rooms to other students, and we could still do that. I have money."

Jill looked at me in utter shock. "You aren't joking are you? You are serious. If I am... if I...you are talking about... are you talking about living with me?"

"I take care of my responsibilities. And I take care of the people I love."

This time she sat with her mouth open, and time went by very slowly.

"You..." she said.

"Now don't go funny on me," I said, "I'm not asking you to marry me, not just yet. I may think that you are the most wonderful woman in the world, and want to wake up beside you every morning, and I can see us looking back on this in ten years time and laughing. Preferably on the balcony of a hotel in the Canary Islands getting a little winter sun for our tenth anniversary together at Valentines day. We may or may not have kids by then, and all that, but now, right now, I want you to know that I would like that. And I know that everyone would say that we are too young, and this is a just a crush, mixed with teenage hormones and a good dose of lust, and maybe they are right, but that doesn't matter. If you are going to have my baby, well it is sooner than I planned, and to be honest, more than a bit scary, but I don't mind that. And if you aren't, which I think is much more likely, well, I won't mind that either, because there is time for that yet and a whole world of things we can do together before we have kids that we might not get to do after. And anyway, you might dump me for some bloke you see on the street."

She didn't smile at that She was quiet for a while. Then she said "You aren't angry with me?"

"No. Not angry." I said. "Surprised, a bit shocked. I was really surprised that you wanted to go all the way so soon, and when you said you were on the Pill I was too excited to think about it, but I understand: my devilish charms were just too much for you. It was all my fault for being so handsome."

She hit me on the shoulder. "This is serious" she said, but at least she was sort of smiling. "I know. I can't help it. It goes with the being calm and rational." I said, "The emotion has to go somewhere so I make bad jokes. Sorry. But I never say serious things as a joke. I meant everything I said,"

She looked down then, and said "You said something about looking after the people that you love. Did you mean that? Did you mean me?"

"Yes. And yes."

She was silent for a moment, then said without looking up, "That's an awfully big thing to say to a girl."

"Yeah, I know. It is a big thing for a boy to say. Well for this boy. I know some guys would use it just to get a girl into bed, but I think that's despicable. Look I know this is the first few days of crazy romance. This is falling in love, head over heels, out of my head, promise you the moon, totally addicted, high as a kite and can't live without you stuff. But it's not just that. I can't explain but I know that I will forever think of you fondly, wonder how you are, worry about you, help you if you need it, look forward to seeing you again. I think that's loving someone. Being sad because they are not happy. Being glad because they are. Your happiness matters to me. When we, when we made love in the last couple of days, that's what it was. It wasn't just sex."

She melted into my arms, tears streaming down her face, whispering. "Oh Sean" as our lips met. It was a good kiss. When she at last pulled back she was holding my head and looked into my eyes with a dazzling smile. "I have never heard of a boy like you. Where the hell did you come from?"

"Oh somewhere between the Edwardian era and Star Trek."

She smiled for a moment and then it faded. Jill looked down again. "You know that if I am, you know, I don't have to stay that way. I could go to England. Girls do it all the time."

"Would you want to do that?" I asked as gently as I could.

"No one would have to know. We could go over for a weekend. Or I could go with Tracey. She would take me. She went last year."

This information threw me for a moment. "Tracey? Tracey Bowen?"

Jill glanced up "Yes. But that's a secret. She went last Easter. She had got drunk at a sort of party, with some boys and ..."

"It was at her house. They were her big brother's mates. Half a dozen guys screwed her one after the other. I know."

Jill was shocked. "How do you know that?"

"Everyone knows that. It was the talk of the school. The guys boasted about it. When I heard about it, well that is I realised that they were exactly the kind of people I despise. They joked that if she got pregnant they were safe because she wouldn't know who the father was, and she wouldn't tell her parents that she had six in a row while her brother was out cold on the sofa. Phil was furious. He knocked two of Sid's teeth out. I kind of approved of that, but he shouldn't have let them get her drunk and do that."

Jill said bitterly "Well, she did get pregnant, and they got away with it. But she's alright now, and she would help me..."

"Look at me Jill." I took her chin and lifted it so I could see her eyes. "It sounds odd from an eighteen year old boy I know, but I am a Feminist. I support a woman's right to chose, to say no, to say yes and to change her mind. If a woman wants to do that, it isn't wrong. But only if it isn't wrong for her, bad for her. I don't know if Tracey is really alright, because I don't really know her, but I know that she must have felt pretty bad when she found out that she was pregnant, that those guys didn't care about her, that all she was to them was a good looking thing to, well to wank into. Even if she enjoyed the sex, and from what the guys said she was keen enough, to find that she had something growing in her that was planted by one of those guys? And not know which one? Guys she never saw again, or who if she did see them either ignored her or tried to grope her? Jesus I wouldn't want to have their baby. I would have a hard time even looking at it if I had it. She must have been so lonely, hated them, hated herself, hated the baby. Maybe it was the best thing for her. But for you?"

"But it might be easier." She murmured, fresh tears in her eyes.

"No, not for you. Not for us. When you have a baby you will worry about it every day for the rest of your life. But if you didn't, how would you feel? I don't think you would forget it. I think you would feel bad about it every day. I think every time you looked at me you would wonder. Even if we had other kids you would think about it. My mum lost a baby before she had me. Big brother I never had. She still thinks about him. Still wonders what he would have been like. I think you would be like that. I think it would eat you up. I would hate that to happen to you. If there was any other way for things to go I would take it. I never want you to look at me and feel sad, or guilty."