I'm Not Gay Ch. 03

I opened the door and moved past the threshold before closing the door. I don't think I was ready for Alex and Bryson to meet. Alex looked at me curiously, but didn't openly question me about it. We drove about twenty minutes out of town to a pleasant restaurant on the water. We just chitchatted in the car. It was nice and Alex proved himself to be smart and funny. I was actually looking forward to the rest of this date.

When we got to the restaurant, we were seated at a table on the deck overlooking the river. I was enjoying the view when all of a sudden I felt a hand on my shoulder and I heard a panicked "Noah!" I looked over to find Bryson staring down at me with a panicked face to match his voice.

"Bryson, what are you doing here?!" I asked concerned.

"You need to come with me, Noah! Come on! We've got big problems at home! Let's go! Let's go! Hurry!" he was rushing me out of my seat. I looked at Alex and he waved me forward with a promise to call me later.

"Bryson, wait!! Is it Mom? Dad? Dane? What's going on?" I was starting to get really upset.

"No time for explanations! I'll explain later. Come on! Get in my truck!" I climbed up into the seat and waited for Bryson to climb in, as well. I was running through the possibilities in my head of what could have happened. I was so deeply involved in my worries that I hadn't realized that we had been driving in silence for ten minutes.

"Bryson, will you tell me what is wrong now?" I asked plaintively.

"Ok. On one condition: promise not to be mad." He looked at me and worriedly chewed on his bottom lip.

"Why would I be mad? Just tell me!" I almost yelled.

"Just promise me you won't be mad and I'll tell you!" he yelled back.

"Fine!"

"Ok...you see, there's not technically an emergency. Your family is fine. Back there, when I said we had major problems at home, I meant you and I had major problems that needed to be worked out. I'm sorry I mislead you" he finished. He was eyeing me cautiously. I was completely still.

"Bryson, take me back to the restaurant immediately. If I'm lucky, I can catch Alex and somehow explain to him that you are a crazy person." I said somewhat calmly with only a small twitch in my eye.

"No! Absolutely not! I'm not driving you back so you can go on a date with another man. If you want dinner, we can go get food. I'm not bringing you back to him" he said adamantly.

"Bryson, pull over"

"What? No!"

"BRYSON, PULL OVER!!" After that, he slowly pulled over to the side of the road. I turned to look at him. With no warning, I landed a solid, if not a little awkward punch. He flinched back and grabbed his face.

"What the fuck, Noah?! Seriously, again? You're abusive!!" Bryson complained.

"Stop doing stuff to make me angry and I'll stop hitting you, asshole. That was an awful trick. I was imagining my whole family was dead and it was all just because you wanted to talk!!" I was fuming with anger. "Well, now you have me here. What do you want to talk about? Do you want to talk about the fact that you completely choked when I started talking about a future last night?"

"I was thinking, Noah! Jesus! You sprung a pretty big issue on me and then gave me no time to think about it. I haven't considered a future with you, in the same way that I haven't considered a future with Santa Claus. I never thought we would happen, Noah. I've been thinking about the future since you yelled at me last night. You have a pretty nasty habit of yelling and hitting, but I decided that I want a future with you anyway. I think that we could be for forever and that we would be very happy. I can't promise we'll be happy forever. No one can. I'm sure we'll fight because I can't manage to go five minutes without pissing you off, but I think we could have a good life together if we work at it. If you would stop dating other men, that would help. Christ, Noah, do you know how much that killed me? To think of you with another man?" he said the last part softly and it made something in my heart twinge.

"I'll be honest and admit that I only did it to get back at you, in a disturbed way, for not planning a future with me. It was just nice to talk to a man who wasn't confused about his sexuality. It's just...I don't know what to say. When are you going to realize that you're just going through a weird phase and that you're not gay?" I asked

"When are you going to realize that my life before I admitted I was gay was my weird phase? Why is it impossible for me to be gay? Why do you believe Alex is gay, but not me? Wasn't there a time in every gay man's life that he pretended to be straight? You didn't come out until sophomore year of college. So I waited a little longer to acknowledge it. So what? Why are you punishing me for it? I want to be with you, Noah. I'm ready and I want to be with you for the real deal. With titles, cuddling, and hopes for the future. I want to be the man that takes our 2.5 children to school and plays fetch in the backyard with our golden retriever. I don't want to sit by and watch this new guy do all of these things, Noah. I love you and I want to love you forever. Let me love you, Noah. Please." Bryson took a deep breath and looked at me. I was frozen. I had never had someone say such sweet things to me. What he said made sense, too. Who was I to question his sexuality? And even if it turns out that he isn't really gay, why was I denying myself the opportunity to be with the man of my dreams? It may end up breaking my heart, but wouldn't his love be worth it? I looked into Bryson's face. He had a pained expression, clearly taking my silence as a rejection.

I closed the distance over the middle of the car and touched my lips to his. It was a gentle kiss, just a physical acceptance of his love. He cupped the back of my head with one hand and pulled me in harder. This kiss was with a little more passion. I could feel his desperation and fear of rejection seep out of him and be replaced with joy and lust. I was feeling the same emotions. A small part of my brain was objecting to doing something this careless, but the rest of my brain was cheering as the endorphins rushed through my system. I was halfway over onto his side of the car, almost in his lap. I was experiencing the sweet pleasure that is kissing Bryson Ganton. He is truly an experience for all of the senses. His taste is truly his own and it's always either beer or mint with a warm undertone of natural Bryson. He smells like man with just a hint of sweat and whatever cologne he threw on in the morning. The feel of his body against mine is intoxicating and his lips are so firm and so soft that they drug me with their kisses. The sight of his larger hand holding my smaller hand makes me feel so safe and secure. I never want to let go of that hand, ever. Finally, I hear that deep voice of his moaning my name in between kisses. I ran my hand across his hard chest and I felt his nipples harden underneath my touch. That prompted a whole new set of moans and grunts. I pulled away from the kiss and said the only words I could think at the moment:

"Love me, Bryson. Please."