All Comments on 'I'm Not That Stupid'

get yourself a brain, then you may comment. You look more stupid with every comment you write.

Muddled for example he had papers drawn up to be served after sixty days if she did not come back in that time.Nine months later they are still apart and she hasn't been served.She would have decided to go back in that time because she missed her son though there is never any mention of contact between them and nine months would have been long enough for her to decide.

Even for a fictional story this was just wrong. He'd be lucky to stay out of jail when he took Andy out of the Country. First off, he'd half to have a written letter of agreement to take Andy anywhere without Carol's okay. Out of the Country makes him a kidnapper and even a dumb Judge jails him, gives full custody to Carol. In the divorce hearing, he'd get raped. She'd get the house, alimony, child support and half their assets. He'd be lucky to get Court ordered supervision with his kid once a month. Your ending was laughable bad and totally unbelievable.

timriv, I wonder if you read the same story that everyone else read. They both signed up for the gym and she lost a lot of weight. She had a lot more to loose than he did. And the story never talked about him but if he was going 3 days a week I'm sure he got in shape also. It's just that, afterwards, she decided to slut around. And it makes you wonder why she needed to move out to "find herself". She had her own career also. It's pretty clear she wanted to find her "inner slut". He was smart to separate everything as soon as she was gone although I'm not sure any court would just rubber stamp that he gets custody of their son if she decided to fight it.

She was stupid! Listening to her divorced single friends. While being stupid seems to be something stories like this have in common. Not an original idea even his fast overall too fast reactions. I’ve read other similar stories with better back grounds to the characters than this. Start an original story with better outcomes that make sense.

If the ratings could go lower I’d give less 1!

most husbands like to think of themselves as hard asses. But the fact is always present that is not the case. some spouses screw around like they are single and hubby is home drinking doubles... a 5

First, I have to say that he DID encourage her to lose the weight, to the point of signing them both up for gym membership. She became obsessed with it. She ambushed him with the "I'm moving in with my slut friend tonight," and maybe he did go a bit strong, but it was to (hopefully) shock into pulling her head out of her ass--which she finally did--just too late. I'll grant that what happened was partially his fault, but SHE was running around acting single. SHE moved out to "find herself." SHE left her husband and son. She gets 85% of the blame here. Period.

Carol wanted to get out and be single. That's the point where the marriage was over. Separation is just another way to say "I don't like you and I want to go out and find someone new. But if I can't, you'll do for now and I'll come back".

The responsibilty for this mess is entirely Dan's. He didn't help his wife in her attempt to get thin again or praised her for doing so. He could have had it all but instead chose to act like a child and have a hissy fit. He then slept with Beth after letting her wear his wife's close and go with him to celebrate his success. If he had told his wife then everything would have worked out but he made things worse. He really wanted Beth not Carol.

Reread this story in light of some positive reviews, and now I'm positive, too. I'm positive the story sucks. Changing POV from 'they' to 'we' to 'him' to 'me' within the same paragraph and sometimes the same sentence. Did the author every actually read his own story?

And the husband cut off all communication with the wife immediately. So resolution to the marriage was impossible, even though the wife had come around and wanted to talk things out.

It's the kind of story that women haters love. But sane people find lame. This was lame.

Unforgiving, controlling, a worse cheat than his wife (slept with the nude baby sitter beside him before Carol almost (but didn't) do worse, and he started up an emotional affair, took the kid out of the country (very questionable, if she'd had a good attorney). Remember, they agreed to TEMPORARY full custody or him. Runnin' a kid across international borders even with full custody is questionable. Pretty much prevented mother from physically being with the kid.

Beth will eventually realize what an asshole he is, but will play it smarter (having seen what happened to Carol). At some point he'll come back to see his mother or something, and the legal shit will really hit the fan. I hate it when the author turns the guy I'm rooting for into a criminal with no conscience. Well written, for sure, or it wouldn't have been so upsetting. I think it's a bit lacking in legal reality though. We can only hope his kid won't be too influenced by his father before they get him back to the Carol.

Despite his protests, it looks like he did bear some sort of a grudge for her once being overweight . . . and expressed it at the earliest opportunity.

Tell me Ruttweiler, (I hope you're a woman because if you're a male you're a pathetic replica of a male) What did the husband do wrong?

Another whiny, butt-hurt man-child throwing a temper tantrum, acting out all his woman-hating fantasies. And, so poorly written, too.

It's just so hard to read about legal stuff when the person writing obviously has no fucking clue what they're talking about.

Without both parents signing a permission slip or waiver! The husband sounded like he was pushing his wife into cheating on him...He obviously wanted out of the marriage and steered her into making it so. You portrayed him as too slick and not having much love for his wife. He comes across as an asshole!! Like a young nubile college graduate would fall for him in that short of time if ever!

You need to get yourself a real editor. There is NO EXCUSE for this.

Dude, you're barely literate. You need an editor sooo badly. You're a decent storyteller, but this was just awful.

I don't think so....

Well regardless of POV and sentence structure this author writes entertaining tales.

Your wife calls them B.F.F. but in reality they are jealous bitches your wife gets talked into fucking some big cock because the B.F.F. does not want your wife and you happy! After you find out , no doubt you will divorce your stupid wife. Then the so called B.F.F. will move onto some other stupid wife. Scary YES! Story is Fantastic! Love you all! GREG. OH 100 % OF READING ENJOYMENT BYE.

Why does this author always spoil his - otherwise decent - stories by repeated and irritating changes of the POV? Sometimes the POV is changed from 3rd to first person and back even in the middle of a sentence - that makes it nearly unreadable. Add to that the wrong use of words that sound alike but are spelled differently (e. g. "your" vs. "you're"). Get a competent editor!

He should have tried counseling first, then skipped the separation and gone straight for the divorce. He should have given her an ultimatum then a second chance, making it clear that leaving their home and their marriage was a one-way journey. This marriage could have been saved. A sad story.

Actually a pretty good story if you can get around the constant shifting between 1st and 3rd person narrative. As others have said, it's the "POV" thing that drives some readers nuts.

show his lack of command of the language. He switches POV constantly. First person is beyond his ken. He eventually started having his work edited and it improved. He has no understanding of sentence structure, punctuation, spelling, or tenses.

Sometimes the POV even shifts in the middle of a paragraph from one sentence to the next, one of the sloppiest bits of editing I've seen on this site, I wonder if it was edited at all!

If the author cared about editing his stories, he would fix the constant shift between first- and third-person POV.

Seems like he couldn't decide which form to write in so instead he randomly shifted back and forth, turning the story into a complete mess.

l too found it a bit hard to follow, with the p.o.v shifting, that was going on in the story, so l can understand if it was a first time submitting one, now there is one thing l would like to know, when C was telling K about what was happening, K gives her opinion that hubby would be crawling back to C within a week, l would like to know what K's opinion was after that week, when hubby didn't do as K say would happen, and what she she had to say, when C was served with the d papers on the Monday, an what she had to say when the weight came back on too.

Don't mess with Tazz you fucking jerkoff asshole. Anyone can type a wrong letter and not catch it. You, anon, are the moron here. As stupid as the cheating whore in this tale. You're probably are as alone as she it.

HA

Entertaining as hell! Lol!

I understand this was one of your first offerings. Fun read.

this is one of the first stories by this author and POV was a problem for some time. Since then, he's gotten himself a good editor and the POV problems have been eliminated. Stories written today are excellent, making him one of the better authors in loving wives. From the scores he's receiving on his stories others have the same opinion.

Throughout you segued from 1st person to 3rd person; sometimes in the same sentence. Be sure to proof read better next time.

but the snakes still live in the grass. TK U MLJ LV NV

Probably more that 2 or 3 dozen switches between 1st an 2nd person. In fact, I would bet you didn't write this one. If you did, put down the booze.

I read this story twice. I'm not a legal head and don't know alot about separation and divorce law but, I really don't care. The story was what it was a sad tale about a good man and a stupid wife who for whatever reason (trashy people and friends at work) took him fore granted. If you are nit picking the law terms you are not reading the story and its a free story.

Story was not bad. I see all this legal crap each one talks about. He had a legal separation with him having full custody. Even if he shouldnt have taken the child overseas it would have taken months if not years to bring him back legally from asia. Otherwise the story wasn't bad except i agree it needs a good editor to fix it.

The POV is pretty screwed up and keeps switching between first and third person, sometimes within the same sentence.

She is better off without this idiot anyway.

"I guess she's finally made up her mind," I said sadly because I had really wanted to get back together with Carol, but no longer. Didn't act like he did wouldn't even talk to her lol This author writes some good stories but he excels at writing stupid people!

Once again a selfish hero who gets what HE wants.

He didn't have sole custody of the kid until a court says so.

He doesn't get 65/35 until a court says so.

He cheated first (using BTB fans definition) so the separation orders should be against him and the wife gets custody and 65%.

The story content is above average. But grammatically speaking, this would get a failing grade even in a junior high school writing class. Please, find yourself an editor.

This story had a disturbing number of changes between 1st and 3rd persons, places that words seemed to be missing and places where words that sounded the same but were spelled differently appeared in error.

I've read a number of this author's stories and have found them to be overall well done and interesting. This is an aberration (I hope) in that there are several word usage errors, switching from 1st to 3rd person in the same paragraph, as well as past tense and present tense confusion in the same sentence. It was like he decided on a rewrite through the middle of the story and pretty much half-assed it.

The story itself was okay. Pretty much formulaic in plo. There is almost no explanation of the wife's actions and not much explanation of Beth 's actions either. The whole thing just seems more like a work in progress than finished work.

Yes the wife went first. But then Dan took his turn. And I don't think a legal separation gave him full custody. Even a mediocre lawyer would have gotten Andy shipped back to the States and Dan would have needed to stand in front of a Judge and explain his actions, including his infidelity. They get divorced but I think Carol got full custody, the use of the marital home until Andy graduated, alimony based on Dan's ownership in the firm (couldn't hide that from a blind accountant) and a chunk of his retirement. This was a nice fairy tale but there's no way it would have played out this way in anything but fiction.

Carol was a selfish cunt, plain and simple. My first wife was the best piece of ass Omarks male employees had in the late fifties. A few of the wives of those guys clued me in and gave me lessons in sex and fidelity. I got more pussy from those wives than I could handle in a dozen life times. I was taught how to bring them off and how to enjoy eating the best snatch available. It was wonderful. But my cunt of a wife had to rub my nose in it, giving me a couple cream pies which when I realized what was up or down became violent. We divorced. I became a full fledged drunk, nearly lost my job several times over, but then went back to school, became an engineer with a business minor, was taught how to make tons of money by a fellow OCS classmate, taught how to invest in real estate and stocks. My then girl friend learned the same tricks, we got married, saved and invested an both retired at age 54 respectively because we could afford it, had the time and money to travel , buy boats, motor homes and lots of fine cars we have about twelve now, a cole are in various stages of repair (restoration). The spread em for everyone cunt has had a tougher life, never got much going for her until in her sixties and she still works, I almost hope she is happy, then again why. It's still fuck her, she was a god damn tramp, and maybe still is. She loved black cock, and I was told she did gang-bangs, but I was never into sharing unless it was someone else's wife, especially if their husbands were fucking mine. I got a perverse kick out of that when they didn't know they were eating my cum.......

Yiu think the husband comes across as an asshole? Well, you have that in common, then!

How, exactly, is he an asshole? His wife decides that she wants an indefinite vacation from her family, and her responsibilities as a mother, so she can go party 4 or 5 nights a week. She makes out with DOZENS of guys in public, lets anyone with a swinging dick feel her up, finger her, goes to bed with them, all while letting her husband do the mundane things like RAISE THEIR SON! What did HE do? He stood by his wife, when she was pregnant, sick, or fat. Let's see, he made sure his son didn't get dragged along by his mother to witness her whoring, or be neglected. He hired a nanny, to make sure his child's needs were met when he was at work providing a future for his son. He worked harder, so they would be financially secure, while STILL spending quality time with his son. He didn't have ANY intimate relationship with the nanny until he had PROOF of his wife's infidelity.

What did his wife do? Oh yeah. She went out and partied, fooled around, and ABANDONED her son!

Which one did you, in your infinite wisdom, say was the asshole?

Your stories are very good normally but this one needed some serious editing.

Also the husband comes across as a bit of an asshole.

are you retarded? What story did you read? She left him, they were still married. He filed for a legal separation that stated the divorce would become final is she cheated or as he put it did anything that was not proper for a married person to do. I think all of the things she did fit that category nicely. I can't help it that you are one of the "take the wife's side no matter what crowd", you are wrong. I also don't think that any lawyer would take her side, what with the legal papers and the pictures. She needs to go on and get a life and you need to read the story before you comment.

It seems they both got around to cheating. And if she got a good lawyer, I think that lawyer cooks his ass for taking the kid out of the country. I think he kills the whole separation agreement, the sale of the house and the divorce gets put on hold until they return to the States. If he gets the wrong Judge, he might do jail time. But I'm betting he loses custody, Carol gets back into the house with child support and alimony. The Judge will be particularly unhappy that he got Beth pregnant while still married to Carol. He lost - big time. Even for fiction, your ending was just too far out there.

Well, it seemed to me that she had an adult job, an adult marriage and a husband who loved her for herself. That should have counted for something. She was a mother and a wife who got serious about losing weight and then lost her mind. She put herself in situations that were detrimental to her marriage and never gave her family a second thought. Going out on her husband for a "girls night out" and letting men touch her and kiss her wasn't something that she did accidently. She set out to put herself into that type of situation with malice afore thought. Getting hot and then using her husband as a dildo was selfish and disrespectful to him. Thinking about someone else during sex with your spouse is infidelity.

How do you "find yourself" as a married person by leaving the marriage and acting single? Clubbing 4 nights a week with all of the attendant fondling and kissing. Going back to her single "friend's" apartment with a man, getting into bed naked with him and making out before "coming to your senses" is so far over the line that you can't see it anymore.

The only reason I didn't give this a 5 was that I don't think much of "girl's nights out" or "finding myself" discussions. Nothing to do with the writing or the grammer. Or spelling. Unlike a lot of people who commented on this story, my computer screen isn't all marked up with my ever present "red" ink pen.

So which one was it that wanted to bring in farm animals? Sorry...couldn't help myself...

...there are so many spelling errors, grammatical mistakes, and technical errors that they seriously detract from the enjoyment of the story.

You finally realized that cheating is more than just having intercourse.

who do you listen to, the TV, RADIO, INTERNET, SOME MOVIE STAR, none of which may have a clue what's going on in someone else's life, or country.

This was just so, so stupid. 2 **

and look what it caused. TK U MLJ LV NV

Dan:

"I've asked you to talk to me for the last four months, but you've been too busy with Karin and your new friends to make the time."

That shows Dan did try.

Ultimately, I'm on Dan's side. Carol was the one carrying the idiot ball throughout. But I do feel that Dan is also culpable. The problem with Slirpuff stories is that characters don't have enough meaningful conversations. There's some suspense and drama, a lot of fighting and yelling, but mostly characters are just responding emotionally to each other's stupidity.

The reason why Dan's culpable is that Carol tried to talk to him several times, but got shut down. With an intelligent conversation he might have been able to talk her down from her position, or at least get her to rethink what she wants out of a separation. The only conversation we get is him chastising her for being stupid. Great! I'll bet that will win her over! He left her in a position where her only confidants were divorcees out to ruin her marriage so that they could all have their fun together slutting about.

"I can't fix this marriage by myself." Then why the hell did you delete all twelve messages she left on your phone you damn fool?!

In the end, although Carol deserves the blame for being stupid, Dan made out better than he deserves.

Way to present a logical and informed rebuttal to my statement! You must be the hit of the elementary school debate team! How do I respond to "Shut up", that can`t be beaten. What`s next, name calling?

He didn`t "Steal her son". He lived up to His responsibilities as a parent, to nurture and raise his son, to see that he is raised in a loving environment, and brought up right. That was his duty. Any personal wants and desires go out the window when you have a child, and they should become your only focus. Carol either forgot that, or couldn`t live with the responsibility of raising a family, so she made her choice to leave. She was the one that walked away from her obligation as a mother. Just because she was Andy`s mother, doesn`t make her a good one, and an alcoholic, promiscuous party animal is not someone a responsible parent wants influencing their 6 year old son. She wasn`t too concerned about the welfare of her own child when she was out partying, only complaining when Dan appeared to have moved on without her. In her mind it was; Her first, then Karin, then whatever guy she could make out with, and at the very bottom of her list was her son and husband.

Dan didn`t "Steal" Andy, because he had sole custody, by mutual consent, and Carol left, without paying ANY child support, just dumped them and went to a party.

You say; "That shit doesn`t cut it when a man does it". When a man does what exactly? Abandon his family to sleep around? Not pay any maintenance or child support? What are you trying to say User110? That we should all feel free to walk away from our obligations and responsibilities, without consequence? You are right in one thing, though, That "Shit" is unacceptable, to abandon a child, when ANY parent does it!

A heroin user of a crack head by his statement. He didn't steak anyone's kid. She abandoned both of them so he was doing the right thing and parenting Andy. So one ten.....put the needle down and join the rest of us in the real world.

doesn't work when a man does it either. i was cool with it until he stole her baby, then i switched to the "dent his head" team.

There are so many comments stating that Dan cheated. Where? When? Beth slept in his bed, so what? They SLEPT. She "spooned" him. Meaning he had his back to her as they slept. People can and do sleep in the same bed at times without having sex! Dan wasn't the one kissing strangers. He wasn't the one being fondled, groped and fingered in public on an ongoing basis. He wasn't the one playing tonsil-hockey and swapping spit, and flashing her tits with dozens of men at the parties. He wasn't the one using strangers fingers to get warmed up for sex at home. He didn't leave his family and home because he was bored with them. That was all Carol. She felt her husband and child weren't good enough for her and were holding her back. Well, she got exactly what she wanted. Remember that Dan pleaded with his wife to stay. Begged her to not kiss other men and allow them to grope her. She still walked. She was high on attention and wasn't about to let her husband stop her fun. She had all the information and she decided to leave. After that, all bets were off, as was the marriage. If she wanted to remain married, all she had to do was try. But that seemed to much effort for her. Dan, at this point knew his marriage was over, his wife was lost to lust, so he did the only thing that remained. He protected himself and his son.

Who cares? She still cheated! Sex is the final, but not the only act in cheating.

Good story Slirpuff, but try to concentrate on the narrative a bit more. This story chopped and changed from one first person to another,and then onto third person. We can still follow and enjoy the story, but it just becomes a little irritating to keep switching. Maybe try it in the third person narrative, using quotations.

You have a talent in making all your characters thoroughly unpleasant and unlikeable.

Dan beth Karin and carol were all scummy peasants, no feeling of remorse or happiness for any of them.

Trust is gone

My ex wife was very much over weight, almost 200 pounds, her self esteem was practically gone. Being over weight in a world that measures success by your smallest waist line is an awful life to live in. I too encouraged her to a gym, together we were at the gym 3 to 4 times a week, diet regiment and within 1 year she lost so much weight, I saw the attention from guys. Our down fall, we went to clubs, and watched her attitude change. within a few months shy of our 3rd anniversary she cheated, an attempt at counseling was started but she could not honestly sit through it. she found a new life and loved it. near our would be 5th anniversary we were finalized in our divorce. To this writer, I share your pain, I too found success, not in business, but another woman a year and a half after my divorce and have been happily married ever since. And, my now wife, was very skinny when we met and still is. We went to a few clubs, and could careless about the attention or eyes from other guys.. we danced the dirty dance, and celebrated our 14th anniversary. 5 stars to you wish there could be more.

Yes you are. Quite stupid. And an ex-wife. That's what happens when you listen to stupid friends. Ye reap what ye sow. Fucking idiot.

Loved it. I had a song playing as I read it, it was "Twist and Shout".

I've seen similar things happen in real life. A fatty gets religion with diet and exercise and discover they are among the normals. When you have low self esteem it is a major lift to expel barriers that you may have had your whole life. At any rate, this story had human interest and relevance to real life stuff. It was well presented up to the end of the legal separation and the transition to outright divorce. I felt the author could've given more thought to the characters and their interactions from that poor til the end. Carol had some extremely serious life changes that needed airing out. Of course in real life, a good friend would've suggested counseling (individual or marriage). The fact that Carol basically stepped off a steep cliff metaphorically speaking is an understatement. Dan exercised due diligence and he was much more patient compared to most men that I know. I know I would've initiated divorce papers after the Christmas party. I feel Carol needed a mental health professional to evaluate her state of mind. Overall, this was a well thought out story with many important issues presented in graphic detail. Thank you.

and the CHUBB-ARITA returned full figured, TK U MLJ LV NV

obviously you weren't reading the same story that was written, otherwise you would not be so clueless.

a counselor before she left? Why would Dan not try to do that if he loved her so much. It was too easy for both of them to fail here. And cutting her off from her son was despicable. He went nuclear without trying to make sure he covered all the options. Her behavior was terrible, but had not reached the point that would justify what he did. Counseling first. I think in fact the way you present it, he did not love her anymore and this became an excuse to find a younger and prettier woman. I actually have more sympathy for the son than I do for either of them.

Why Carol hadn't put on a strap-on (12" long, 3" wide) and tore Karin's ass bloody???!!!

Anonymous said he cheated first, I say bullshit she cheated when she started playing kissie face and letting other guys finger bang her on her so called girls night out! Say what you want ladies and gentlemen, but if you do things like that that you wouldn't normally do in front of your partner it is cheating!

A man who does not make the same mistake twice.

he was the blame for the failed marriage???

she is the deserter of her hubby and child!!!!!!!

my opinion is he done great for he and the child.

Grammatical errors aside, I enjoyed the storyline. He was within his right to divorce her the moment she moved out.

She played chicken with a spinning 440 volt buzzsaw. That's the story's bottom line to me. I know people akin to both these characters Dan doesn't make a move without being covered three ways to Sunday. He's audacious, abrasive & apparently not much into the body beautiful mode of thinking.

In terms of his domestic attitude, I'm reminded of Robert DeNiro's character from " Meet the Fokkers ' circle of trust ' family concept. You are either all the way in & he'd die to save a member or totally out. It's just the way it is. Carol had a number of entitlement issues & tried to impose different values in marriage mid-stream.

A lot of guys would have aquiesced to her agenda. They would have joined a gym, lost the weight that apparently was an issue. Not Dan ! Good, bad or indifferent he's happy with who he is. The ironic thing is that the same issues might well repeat with Beth.

There is kow-towing, grudging aquiesience, compromise & a minute measure of flexibility a man must do from time to time to placate a woman. Let's just hope for the second time around, Dan shows a greater range of those qualities. If blame were to be aportioned out, yes Carol has the lion's share.

Yet Dan isn't spotless. The first marriage was salvageable. Great story by Slirpuff. Dan was a complex character. I'm a bit sorry Carol wasn't a bit more of a match for him. Yet this was an easy read with aspects & nuances that still echo after the conclusion. I'd be borderline-estatic, if I could write something this good. Bravo.

Or did I miss that? She may have been doing some questionable things, but after all those years of marriage he sure kicked her out fast, filed fast (her mistake was to sign the first agreement, he had no legal standing to force her to do that) and in the end, he slept with someone first. Seems to me a good attorney would have gotten her 50% of his net worth, including his business that he was hiding. the house and primary custody. That's the way the Courts roll. He just didn't have a leg to stand on. At the end, he took the kid away from his mother - he turned out to be the bigger jerk.

She didn't actually cheat (yes, yes, emotionally bankrupt aside). In fact, not only was he more unfaithful than her by accepting Beth in his bed and then practically eloping, the entire time they were separated he simply pushed her further and further away instead of trying to mend things. Hmm. Not so much revenge as a lazy, uninteresting civil dispute. And why tag this in adultery and cheating?

dont worry about changing person in the story. hell that is the way life goes. one person talks, and that person thinks at the same time and the person they are talking to thinks something while the other is talking, and then they talk back. only idiots need it all in the same person and they will never be happy until stories are in pictures with little ballons with words in them coming out of the cartoon characters mouth. you did good. 5

You really need to choose between first and third person, you chop and change multiple times in one sentence.

Just stupidity on the wife's part. She really didn't want to cheat but listened to bad advice from friends and it cost her everything. I can't call her a cheating slut. I can call her stupid and gullible. She made her now empty bed now sleep in it. ALONE

OH YEAH

I am in agreement that the marriage was in severe trouble before the steaks were ready, and Sweetie was clearly warned about exactly how severe. Hubby stuck to his guns, as I also agree he should have. My main quibble about this good story about a strong husband and father confronted by a gullible and impressionable spouse is that it had very low eroticism. The writing mechanics also suck swamp water, but it is nothing a good editor could not fix very quickly!

4*

quit being english teachers. life changes tenses and persons and goes from singular to plural in a heart beat. maybe you need to go back to your "three little pigs" book and the "cat in the hat." be adults, learn to keep up. it was a great story.

she never should have slimmed her mind, TK U MLJ LV NV

We pick on you enough about your weird ending and some bizarre psychological conduct so I thought...a Five!

You're good, this story was good and I'll overlook the first and second person changes. We get it...short and to the point.

Carol was a fool and especially so because I don't think she really wanted to cheat, she was just caight up in all the attention and night life...oh well!

The investment of another page or two would have helped me give the story a better score. At least there was no reconciliation.

...gave it 5 stars. Just a touch of critisim, first person or second pick one.

The story changed tenses, between third and first person, and interjected Carol's thoughts, so much that I developed a split personality reading it. I hope that this wasn't a "fantasy" or "getting it off my chest" for the author, because then the author is one sick puppy. I hope it was just a story, nothing more. Way too angy to be enjoyable.

Most of these anonymous cocksuckers need to take take their head out of their ass long enough to see how a man with self respect reacts to disrespect.

gave it a 5 sar

listening to gossipers and no-gooders, listen to the results. TK U MLJ LV NV

Shit story 1 star the guy was a piece of shit, yes fatso was a bit of a slut but let's be honest he did almost as much as her and did infact cheat on her with Beth the slag when he got back into the country I'd kill him simple as that.

all the wimp (who take wife's side ) read again. if u r not dumb then u will understand that husband didn't want divorce

wife is one who wanted to find happiness and the road she select was 75% (if not 100%) lead to divorce.

as lots of say its not will happens in real world (in end husband find happiness) and husband is asshole to them i like to say that

IN FAIRYTALE U DON'T HAVE TO PAID PRICE BUT IN REAL WORLD U HAVE TO PAY PRICE FOR UR STUPIDITY AND NOT ALL THE TIME PRICE IS FAIR ITS ALWAYS BIG. ITS LIKE U MADE DEAL WITH DEVIL HAHAHAHAH

SO DONT SAY ABOUT REAL WORLD

AND U WIMPS/SLUTS DONT THINK THAT WOMEN CAN DO ANYTHING THEY LIKE AND THEY DIDNT HAVE TO PAY PRICE SOME GOT DIVORCE , SOME LIVE IN HELL STYLE LIFE AND SOME DIDNT LIVE

THAT THE LIFE

Uugh... You found the best turn off - rolls of fat!!!

go and write your own wimp story.

Just a woman hating man writing stupid garbage screwing the wife and giving everything to the husband that could never happen in the real world.

Reading between the lines, the writer got taken to the cleaners in a divorce and writes a story so the woman is taken to the cleaners far worse than his divorce.

read the fucking story morons, she gave up custody in the sep agreement. So him taking his son out of country is legit. also once the pic show her going in the apt with the men and the other slut it was over.and as far as him being an asshole show that most of you anon comments are pussy ass wimps. the bitch wanted to move out and find herself with her slut girlfriend. what she found was herself alone.

You shift from first to third person constantly. Your transistions from one scene to the next are muddled at best.

You need to seperate the dialouge.

I like the story, but you need to tighten up your writing.

but to your anonymous knockers I would say, "Re-read the terms of the separation document". It clearly states that any behaviour that was not appropriate for a married woman (or man) would result in divorce. It did not specify adultery and the behaviour of the wife in the club certainly showed such behaviour.

Read - and re-read if necessary - when you are sober, before commenting.

A well writen story with a great ending. As far as the actions of the husband goes, the wife had all the time she needed to get back with her husband and was to stuborn to take the opportunity to retrieve her marriage. To damned bad for her, now she has exactly what she earned with her attitude. R.T.