by ilovematurewomen
Mrs Towers appeared in every sentence or so it seemed. Try using she or my friends mother to describe her.
Learn when to use where and were. Your grammar is awful.
that being said, the paragraphs need to be shortened, the action needs to be separated from the dialog and the Dialog need to be in quotes so the reads know what you trying to establish. the descriptions of the action need more descriptive wording, not just "ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh yyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeesssssssss"
we want to know who is saying that and why they are saying it.
All teenagers should experience such uninhibited sex.
Your writing style needs the help of a good editor. The story has a seemingly good plot but the paragraph structure needs major work.
A good story marred by having paragraphs of absurd lengths that make it hard to read.
You know, this wasn't really a bad story. But, holy crap, you really need the help of an editor. Hell, at times it didn't even seem to be in English.