All Comments on 'In The Nick Of Time'

nice....

Interesting if a little bit Unreal. But a good story. And yes in the nick of time. Thanks. Jim

Not much more to say..maybe a short follow on would be nice. Incidentally, why did he give her the ring. He paid for it and he should get his money back.

Your stories are too short. We have a far too few writers like you in this section so when you publish we are pretty much starved for a good story. Always love your one or two page appetizers but how about a main course story??? Please and thank you

Excellent choice on Mark's part. Cunts are a dime a dozen; but good jobs don't grow on trees!

You really need to finish your stories! I never understood why you won't finish. This was a great start then it's over?? WTF? Good wine gone bad with you. Everything is tasting like vinegar. FINISH IT!

Agree, way too short. It probably wouldn't have worked out for them since she's still in love with Brad. Poor guy, got his heart broken.

He left the sinking ship in time!

It would have been interesting their future in 1 + page.

5 stars all the way. It is impossible to compete with a ghost, the marriage should have never been thought about and Eve should have told her new boyfriend "NO I CAN'T MARRY YOU I AM IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE, MY DEAD LOVER!"

Should get both the wedding ring and the engagement ring back. If a woman can't commit, she customarily gives back the engagement ring, too. Guess he wasn't very smart, but at least he found out in time that she would not have been a loving wife. BTW, the non-erotic category might fit this a bit better. Thanks for writing.

Mark was in a no win position. He could not compete with Brad, and should not have to compete Brad anyway. When you are together in marriage it has to be 100% not 50% Mark and 50% Brad. Mark will always come up short. Evelyn will be tempted and with only negative support for Mark will betray him. Painful now yes, but better now then in 5 years.

Fine story of a person who knows he can never compete with a ghost.

I agree with other posters that the biggest issue was the story was too short! You had a lot to work with and with your talent we know you could have given us more!

Good tales are hard too come by-keep them coming please.

thanks for the story

You can't leave the story end like that. I think, along with others, that you should carry the story further

But that's all it is, a tease. Please finish the story as only you can.

I liked the thoughts Mark had each time Evelyn made a statement to Sandra. Well done.

Thanks for your hard work but you have more to do on this story.

Woodmanone

What the fuck else is there to say? Crap and unoriginal 2*

@ Anon I and other readers are curious the 2 main charcters future.

I would really like to see where you take this. In 1197 I was dating a girl and was about to ask her to marry me The weekend I was to ask her to marry me she died in a car accident. I was hurt for a long vtime and the first few dates and relationship I had all ended badly. I eventually got through it andwas able to move on. So for me I would like to see where this goes

Thank you

Can you learn to love somebody? Maybe. Would you spend years and years to find out? I wont. Good story. Thanks!

thats it? are you kdding me?

The ending is NOT the issue. No one is arguing that the ending was " wrong" or unjust. Its clear the woman is for whatever reason NOT yet ready to marry Mark.

She should not of even been dating and certainly not ever agree to marry the guy. BUT...

the author spends all this tiem leading to the BIG build up and we dont even know what sort of guy mark is. Dropping off a note and leaving is fine... but we dont know anything about him

I agree this is a tantalizing tease. Your characterization is good,the build up was great, sadly the ending ruined the story for me. I kept looking for the next page. So much potential!! Did Mark and Evelyn reconcile? Is Sarah being a bitch because she secretly desires Mark? Did Sarah deliberately sabotage the relationship by constantly bringing Brad up to Evelyn? Will Sarah follow Mark up north? Is Sarah a lesbian wanting Evelyn to herself? Does Mark find his soul mate? Did Brad's 'ghost' come back to set Evelyn free,so she could give 100% to Mark? Does Brad haunt Mark until he realizes he really loves Evelyn? Did Evelyn commit suicide to be with Brad? Did Mark fire everybody? I could go on and on. This story is a very powerful powder keg!! Please light the fuse!!!!!!

Thank you,

The end

So I'll take him at his word.

It was a good story. I guessed almost immediately where the story was going so it wasn't a surprise to me. The style of she says something and he confirms it is a dead giveaway.

Obviously she had no business getting married. She was not over Brad's death. Furthermore, since she was still hurting she should have shared her feelings with Mark. That's what people who care about each other do. She is hiding a significant part of herself from her soon to be husband. Her friend was right about that.

However, she was wrong about Mark not being Brad. Mark doesn't have to be Brad. The problem was Evelyn expecting him to be. She said she didn't love Mark. Why would she accept his proposal? Why not just say this is what happened and that she wasn't ready? Even that she wasn't ready to love someone else yet? Secrets like this make a very poor foundation for a relationship.

How do I see Evelyn? Immature. That's not something to condemn her for but she isn't dealing with the reality of her situation.

As to Mark, we don't have a complete picture of him. He does seem to be in a job that is very demanding and he goes along with it. Being out of town just before your wedding is a BIG deal. But he seems to love Evelyn and treat her well. This was quite a slap in the face. He could have put the wedding on hold to see if the relationship could be saved. But she fooled him into thinking she loved him and excluded him from a major part of her life. How would he know what she really felt in the future? So he cuts it all off, a strong but not unreasonable reaction.

Most of all this is a short story. Short stories tend to be about the situation rather than the people. There's not enough time to develop characters. The situation was a good read and played out to one of many possible conclusions.

I enjoyed it.

to all relations and plans. TK U MLJ LV NV

I'm glad he found out before he married her ass. I don't understand the giving her the ring. You bought it get your money back and have a "she saved my ass heart break party".

Huedogg

He was lucky that he found out what kind of woman he was about to marry.

It's beter he found out before the wedding than after, and a hell of a lot cheaper for him.

It would be a real kick in the ass to find out she still loved the dead guy, and couldn't give herself to her husband completely.

Thanks for the read.

I liked the story. I think it would have been more interesting if the Mark character had been fleshed out a little more. As it is, I think he comes across as a coward. If he loves the girl, then he should accept her experience of tragedy and her willingness to learn to love him as an opportunity, not as a reason to wimp out. I don't mind the ending, but the alternate ending could be a great challenge to write and a great story to read.

I repeat I hate jokes and stories that are one liners with no finish. If you can't finish don't even start.

Mark answered the question: what do you do when you find there is very little there? He missed the opportunity to be unhappy, good for him and a ty to sandra & ex fiance.

You could see this coming a mile away ! :)

It coming but damn it was smooth. Thanks for sharing.

Interesting story! Keep up the good work.cc

Well put together even if the storyline was obvious from the beginning.

Mark took the right decision because Evelyn never shared Brad with him or warned him that there was another guy in her bed...

obvious, but so what? I enjoyed it even tho I don't understand why he gave her the ring. I think I would have left her the empty box.

Yes, that's exactly what I would have done.

Short, but complete. I Loved the ending.

1. He should have returned the ring to the store

2. How long before someone else extends the story and then forces him into accepting her again by giving the usual range of excuses.

3. He should send Sandra a thank you card.

Truly wish all "about to be married" homos-pains could get the chance to view the "real motives & expectations" of their soon-to-be spouses. Thus at least 50% of these marriages would not occur. In hindsight, the dating pool would be larger and more vibrant.

would have been a good title for this story.

Let's review the facts.

1. Brad had to go away shortly before their planned wedding - so did Mark.

2. Brad never came back - Mark did, but the fear involved in his enforced absence would have reminded her of Brad.

3. Love is all about caring so much it hurts, not about dampness between the thighs.

4. Mark's sudden departure like that would have destroyed her completely.

5. Her only hope is to ditch her Sandra and go after the man she loves.

Downgrade on score for poor editing (typing); disrupts the story.

I would have returned the rings and got my money back. overall, good story.

Both Mark and Evelyn lost. He lost what he thought was the love of his live and she lost her future. No cheating here, just remorse.

neat and sad. Very tidy story telling.

Thanks for the offering.

Cheating? Maybe not, deception - Yes! She wasn't honest with Mark. He didn;t know she was still in love with a dead man. He was getting sloppy seconds in the love department - worse than in the pussy department.

She threw him away unintentionally but he did what was right -

She probably was not ready for it anyway - she might have made it work and gotten past Brad but then again maybe not - a ghost in the closet is not a good thing.

Beautiful!

another example of how a wet pussy is used to trap a man to supporting them. just as often as not that pussy will get filled by someone else and then it will get stretched all out of shape and wet and sloppy squeezing out some brat of some guy she fucked in the parking lot of some dive bar during a "girl's night out."

who paid for the wedding, what about the engagement ring.. she did say she could not love him. be he ended it anyway.. he should have talk it over and had a no fault prenup if the marriage ended in five years both walk away with what ever they came into the marriage with. no one gets hurt financially.

First, girls are different from guys. Evelyn cared about Mark or she wouldn't have agreed to marry him, but Brad's ghost did haunt her maybe a little. This was the day before the wedding. Mark should have put Evelyn first, and his boss should have known not to force Mark into an either/or situation. She certainly had misgivings. Brad's memory was a comfortable reminder of something that probably never really existed, a fantasy grown warmer and prettier with the passage of time. We also know that whereas men's affections tend to grow with absence, women's affection tends to wane. Brad was the perfect memory, Mark the imperfect reality. However, Mark was right in his decision. She could have chased him down or found him and talked to him. If he left the next day without that then he was right.

Alas, this is an incomplete story. All three characters should have been fleshed out, and a follow up would have been a fun read. Yet again, it's not my story. It still is certainly a five, and well worth the read.

is an idiot.The story was great.

I take issue with some of the comments received.... Great story by the way. "She had feelings for and I'm certain she could learn to love him" ? Oh lord! she needed someone to help her get over her previous love and this poor schmuck is just the guy for the job. This whole marriage was being set up on false pretenses and it appears that several of your readers thought she was right in doing this. Did anyone consider his feelings before they posted their comments. Love isn't a toy to be played with and honesty, devotion, and respect is required for a marriage to work. I'm certain these commenters would have thought when she divorced him later, because she never learned to "love" him, that she at least gave it a try, the hell with his emotions, and damn! that's cold. I certain would have liked to read an epilogue on the fallout from his actions. Still a great story.

My new perspective on this tale:

Mark will meet a great woman who really loves him and will be happy to be married happily ever after.

Evelyn will grow old alone because after this failed attempt no one will commit to her.

Sandra the friend gets gang raped by forty metrosexuals who like the color of her hair.

There that about covers it.

Ha Ha

the story was great, but I'm not an idiot, just someone with modestly different perspective.

I can't blame him one bit for getting out while he could. You can't compete with a ghost. That war is lost before it begins. Great tale as usual, LGW. Short, sweet, and to the point.

5 Stars.

The plot was interesting and I enjoyed the story. However, I would have loved an epilogue, in which a brief glimpse of each characters life after the break up was revealed.

She hooked up with another guy after the first one died, because she was selfish and didn't really give a shot about anyone but herself. She used Mark. She was probably using Brad too. She was all about her own fantasy life, not at all about reality.

Really don't like outlines past off as stories.

This one could really be developed into a rather good story explaining just why she did what she did, the aftermath of the diner encounter.

It just feels so incomplete

to find out... I was dumb too long and I thought I was smart... I have dug a deep hole...

with Markey being the only non-player, TK U MLJ LV NV

It goes on forever and is hard to overcome when one of the parties dies. 30 years later it still hurts.

But that doesn't mean you can't learn to love again. It just requires understanding and patience. Different people bring out different emotions and give different satisfactions. All can be good.

But you still remember.

Just wow! 5*

This is what's called being at the right place at the right time. Good thing he was. There's nothing worse than a loveless marriage, especially before it starts.

Doubt there would be a part 2, but am curious how the author would write it

While Evelyn wasn't a cheating bitch or anything like that, she obviously still had unresolved feelings for Brad which were maybe reflected in her coolness towards Mark before his trip. She certainly shouldn't have been getting married when she's crying about a lost love TWO YEARS after his death.

It's too bad that she now has to lose a second love, but Mark shouldn't have to settle for someone who is still more in love with someone else, and would have to LEARN to love him.

There are many ways to lie. She lied to everyone, including herself. She lied to Mark, if only by omission. More likely, she told him or inferred that she was in love with him - a lie. She lied to herself about her relationship with Brad - she had glorified it in an ego driven romantic fantasy. No one is perfect, even Brad. She wouldn't know the truth if it smacked her in the face. She was all about herself. Mark was lucky to get away from her.

You deliberately set up a very good story, and then avoid drama and conflict by having the husband (to be in this story) fade away. Of course they are your stories, but I do think they would be improved with the confrontational climax.

I'm accused of being British, which I am not, and you apparently Canadian? Is it the stereotype Canadian to be polite and avoid unnecessary conflict?

Chilley

new---blue---especially old & you....TK U MLJ LV NV

You're wrong!! I liked it I liked I.

i see divorced people.

A good short story...No need for confrontation, no need to clear the air, no need for explanations...Now the friend would be happy again because she had her totally for her (wasn't the friend in love with her?), and he was lucky also, finding all that in time...Now he could be looking for a woman that could love just him...4*

Mark should have called off the wedding but continued his relationship.

She was just rushing too fast.

Stand up, go to her table, take back the engagement ring, and tell her to go fuck herself. If she can't be honest from the beginning, she won't be honest during the rest of the marriage.

many years ago and now they slap me in the face ...5

5*

Evelyn is unable to get past her tragic loss, especially as she's still blaming herself; Mark isn't the one for her, and deep down, I think he knows it. I hope they both find peace and love, though I don't expect it to be with each other. I also wish likegoodwine was still writing, and that KarenE was still commenting. Ah, well, one can't have everything.

Indeed, so much put into so few syllables

He should have confronted her rather than having a waitress deliver the package. Step up, remover the engagement ring and tell her adios.

...but that made a much better story! He should have confronted her, talked, postponed the wedding, all that stuff. However, this ending made a better story. That was very good and I enjoyed it.

But still a good story of a.man doing the right thing.

in these stories a person overhears a complete conversation without missing a word in a public place. Have you ever tried to listen on a conversation like that? Could you?

I could not, ok my hearing is slightly below optimal due to hard rock but I doubt this kind of thing works.

Can you, my dear prospective authors, figure out something a little more realistic?

You can't compete with a saint.

What set up for another chapter. *****

Something is nagging at me when the significant other, let wedding and/or engagment ring(s) along for a message of breakup. It's not for their money value as much as the vivid symbol to sceal the union. When a gilrfriend, fiancee or wife betray, or lie, or show herself unworthy of the union, she is not worthy enough and don't give enough consideration to what this symbol means, to have/keep/wear that symbole, POINT FINAL.

GOOD STORY THOUGH !

It is not spelled but He left her on herself with the shame / work to call off the marriage... It's a pretty good retribution... I would have saved / advised my family and friends from going, thoughs... Even posssibly other side too... Not to hurt but upon respect for them, depending on my relationship with each one.

One of the best concluding lines in all of Lit. Good story. --JRZ

Dude dodged a bullet!

...for them both. She was still in love with a time past she could never return to. He was mind fucked for the future ahead.

That was the lesson of that story. Nothing says that she would cheat on him, but the marriage would have been based on shaky ground and was a potential failure. But I could easily see the wife getting a crush on somebody reminding her of her ex and jumping ship.

I can only imagine how it feels to be that much in love with a woman and find out the way she really feels. All that time giving her everything you are, devoting every free thought and feeling towards her, and discovering you're just a 'safe' guy she'd settled for after she lost her real love. That had to have gutted him. What kind of damage does that do to a person's self-esteem and how does one recover from that, after feeling as deeply for her as he did?

He handled it with more class than I probably would have. I would have wanted to tell her exactly how I'd felt for her and how much she'd hurt me, how much she was missing out on now that she wouldn't have me in her life. Sad part is, she probably wouldn't care much if he had, she just would have felt more sorry for herself. She's too self-centered. A guy as kind and loyal and devoted as Mark deserves the same in return. What a waste.

She was obviously enamored, probably infatuated, with Brad while dating, but she's now romanticized him until he's practically some celestial being from whence nothing flowed but purity, kindness, and true love. If we could raise the dead, I doubt if Brad himself would measure up to the man and relationship she "remembers". Her friend was right: it's too early for her to be getting married because... she's in love with a dead man.

Mark loves her the way she loves Brad. So besides all the obvious pain Mark will endure with his own lost love, Mark has also learned he doesn't measure up to a "Brad". From their conversation, he knows he doesn't even come close to being a "Brad".

Her memories of Brad, whether accurate or not, will haunt BOTH of them for a long time to come.

Great story. Thanks for posting.

Relationships have ups and downs, he couldn't compete with a perfect memory so he ended it.

One of the best.flash stories that I have read

Overall, worth five stars, but the extent (and number) of the Fiancé thought-ballons gave away the twist. I would suggest no more than three, and that the middle one be ambiguous or just a little inaccurate.

Mark could never compete with Brads perfect memory. He was right to break off before marriage...

Yikes ! Saved by the bell. Great that he was hungry and she was talkative.

Don't buy it

Just wouldn't show up

No worries

Good story but tipped the hand a tad too obviously. Inclined to see the twists in stories , but was just waiting for the moment when the sudden shift created the feeling that is symbolized by a needle scratching across a record.

Fun story . Keep writing.

What is with you and finishing your stories?

The author decides on the ending to the story - don't like it - WRITE YOUR OWN STORY! Thank you for a great short story.

giving her an empty box at the end would send the same message but at the same time so much more

Wow!

It's a good thing he heard this conversation. I've read this before and made different comments, differemt opinions. In the state of mind I'm in now, I'll try again.

Nothing worse than living in a loveless marriage. Probably broke his heart but he wasn't Brad. She will forget him and still mourn for Brad. It's sad for both of them. They will survive.