All Comments on 'In the Shadow of the Mountain'

techsan:

You've done yourself proud. Thank You. Ronnie W.

You surprised me! I have particularly high expectations if a story is going to hold my attention for 3 pages. But this story was delicious! I didn't want it to end. I loved the sensitivity of the storyteller when dealing with and describing the female characters, as well as the courage and strength portrayed by the main character. Great piece of work! Thanks for sharing.

I love stories set in the West.

Boyd

Okay, let's get the criticisms out of the way, first. Mostly good work from your editors, but they did drop the "ball" and "not" just once. (Overall, not too badly, though.)

That, and it seemed to me that the ending seemed a bit rushed. But for this venue, you probably didn't need to go much longer in terms of page length.

Now that that part is out of the way:

The story is great! The writing is wonderful. You can be a novelist; start writing! Your first million$ is awaiting.

Indeed, your first novel could expand from this story. A little more preamble, a little more on the conflict with the neighboring thugs, something on the wagging tongues in town, more development on Jack's character.....and voila!, you have a full-blown novel. And the potential of sequels on the larger family.

Get to work!

-- KVK

Techsan

I enjoyed your story. I wish it had been longer. The plot was a good one. With the lover of two good woman of that time. I sure quite a few real story like this took place in the old west. Even though there were more men than woman when they did find each other and really LOVED each other as a family.

Take you time and write a few more you do have a good flare for writing. SO keep it up.

than most of your other stories. It would have been nice to draw it out a bit longer.

In tone and color it definitely reminded me of McCabe and Mrs. Miller (for you youngun's, Warren Beatty and Julie Christy, 1971).

Nicely told story with a good pace. The sex was well done and appropriate.

All in all, a nice read.

DJ

This effort is more to your possibilities as a Story Teller.

We were entertained - the characters in large part were respected, and the story and you were credible. Also, as a bonus it was arousing so everybody won.

Nice work author - I / we hope for more in almost any theme that has these properties and respect. With high Regard

i loved this story loved the story line love the way it was written and loved all the babies and the wonderful sharing with the mother.....these people truly loved one another

Excellent story....Wonderful characters and well written...I couldn't ask for anything more...Thank you!

This indeed was a good story. I felt more connection toward the man views in this case-seeing as how he was oblivious to the thoughts of the women. It also kept your attention, wanting to read on. I liked it alot!

give us more of your fun and sexy stories.you do a good job of editing too.a reader and not a writer ,but a big fans of yours.

Good Story. Excellent use of specific words, in order to set the "mood", the time period ("baler" etc). Believable characters (after all, we all know that real life could be way waaaaaay weirder than a lucky bigamist guy who has as wives a mother and her daughter). Only mistake: the rare use of modern words: "gravity" etc. I strongly believe that a 19th century cowboy wouldn't know wtf "gravity" is and means. Other than that, a very good story; keep up the good work! And it wouldn't surprise me to see you published -officially- very soon.

Not to forget: 9 out of 10! Congrats!

This was a well-written story! I love when authors can spin good erotica and tell a good story at the same time. I've shared this tale with my wife. Now for the tough part: can you do it again?

I did say it was an excellent story, didn't I? Yes, I did say it was an excellent story...and I guess you might be able to deduce that I liked it. Five Stars!

I enjoyed your story. It was well written.

I like your plot line an character developement. Hope you will write some more.

Very enjoyable story, and hope you have written more for my enjoyment. It all fit into place, except the "baler", and I don't recall any baler of that vintage, unless you meant a "binder". What ever, it was real good and erotic to boot. Allan must have spent a good deal of his time with his cock buried in a pussy that was "in season". He was a real good stud.

Great storyline, good settings, great use of period and cultural terms and equipment!

One of your best, by far!

Excellent story! Very enjoyable!

Once again, as in Illegal But Lovely, there must be something in the water in West Texas. A wandering Cow-Poke starts to poke the women-folk and there's another population explosion.