All Comments on 'Inner Slut Unleashed'

Sorry, but I need plot, and some kind of conflict to make a story better. Something for the characters to overcome. Like emotional attachment, love at first sight, falling in love with someone after sex, or they get swept away in the lifestyle and have sex with others more than with each other. I am probably a few who read a story for plot and not sex. I have friends for sex, but love stories with plots and twists. For me at least, everything working out okay and no emotional distress is highly unlikely. I love reading scientific research, and the truth is sex, sexual desire,and attraction stems from the same area as the brain. People falling in love with their sex partner is quite common. After all, bonding hormones are released. A lot of swingers will switch over to polyamory, so that is quite common. As story is now, 3 stars. Oh, also those areas of the brain affected by sexual desire, and love, cocaine also affects the same areas. So something could get addicting.

A story needs conflict to be interesting. Stories about swingers are only interesting if the husband gets short-changed somehow, or gets jealous and angry. If you really feel that straight-up stories about swinging couples screwing and enjoying themselves, with the husband happy as could be that his wife just acted like a slut with a bunch of other men, are interesting, then please post those stories in the "group sex" category.

Just existing as Married in concept. Might as well be gay. No purpose here

Or some point to it? Because it was neither interesting or entertaining to read.

Totally with no redeeming features.

I am going to agree with Anomy-mouse this time. The story was flat and really did not hold my interest, I scrolled to the bottom just to see the end. I think you might gain some mechanical ability by reading more stories, not for the content, but for style and syntax. Sorry, but writing is hard work.

First off, what looks like a reasonable chapter in Word (or most word processing programs) shows up fairly short on the Literotica site. Experiment to figure it out but as a suggestion, aim for at least two pages on the site for a typical, non-flash story or chapter of a story.

Second off, despite the category descriptions this story might have been better served if you had placed it in the "group sex" section. The Loving Wife crowd is...ahem...harsh at the best of times and the many "trolls" of this section will flame any story that has non-monogamous sexual activity in it.

The up side of "Loving Wives" is that you will get many more comments then in other sections. The downside is you will need a very, very thick skin for the slew of "flames" and you will need to accept that your story will be rated far lower then if it had been posted in another section.

I encourage you to keep writing. Getting a story on paper and putting it out there for criticism and comments is a feat in and of itself. Looking forward to what else you have to write.

So a couple of swingers get invited to a swinging couple's house ... and more swingers show up (mysteriously!) Wow ... Big Surprise ... swinging eventuates and Sweetie gets filled and drilled and stuffed! Call Guiness ... it's a New Record ... a NEW slut is unleashed.

Sorry for the irony ... truth: you got kinda tricked back into swining ... and you both loved it (again!)

3*. and it SHOULD be (boring) in Group.

Just 3 * because when she was already getting out her inner slut with another he wrote: " She smiled and me and I signaled my approval"...As if she needed his approval...

I want to like this story, but it just wasn't told very well. I don't care about any of the characters since I know nothing about them, and the action was so rushed, it was difficult to get into it.

With the help of a good editor, you may have a decent story here. I get the feeling this is an autobiographical tale of an adventure you experienced. If that's the case, use a little poetic license to add some drama, or the story just falls flat.

I agree with the others that this story is misclassified in this section. It should be under "Group Sex."

Oh, and it's "wander"; not "wonder." I counted three times you made that mistake.

You at least have made an effort and appear to have two stories posted. I suspect that's more than the few anons who just say you should quit. Perhaps if they did know what your story lacked, they would tell you. Several of the anon Commenter folks did. You have real trouble with words that sound alike but mean different. I keep the dictionary open beside my computer for that very reason. Consider every comment, learn what you can from them, then write another story. Good Luck

welcome to the lifestyle. We're in it and I love all the pussy I get.

we are very much into the lifestyle,

when Susan and I go to parties there is nothing quite like watching your wife becoming a complete slut.

this was very well written, and I look forward to the next chapter.

Guess what?? I don't care how the story is built. I'm here for the fucking, & there is enough in this story to make me want to come back & read about the party @ Jenn's. Oh BTW I love Red Headed cunts!! My Mom was one.

looking forward to it :)

This one should be in the "Group Sex" section. Loving Wives is really more for hotwife/cuckold type stuff, not swingers' parties. Not that there's anything wrong with those, it's just not the correct section.