by rm8181
Sounds like she hasn't loved her husband in years, lol.
Just has some rough corners... Wife not IN love with her husband anymore... this is not a stretch in a lot of the sexual element of marriages... a 3 at this time.. rewrite??
she hasn't been appreciative of her husband , and so the last line is merely just a stretch towards a justification. I have no problems with the way this is written, but a story of a first time swing or swap, needs the other side of the story. How did the other couple fare? and what of the aftermath? Is she able to experience this kind of passion with Hubby afterwards? OR does this experience with "the largest cock she'd ever seen" RUIN her desire for Hubby? Besides what of the bull's wife? Is SHE able to reinvigorate narrator's Hubby, and give him some pointers on becoming a better lover? OR is she more likely very disappointed with him, as it is obvious he doesn't measure up, and isn't used to eating pussy? I think you have a good (if overly commonplace) start, and if anything is to be inferred from the last sentence, It might seem that her own husband wasn't far from her thoughts (at least in comparison). However, it should be obvious that this is NOT the whole story, and has left too many questions to neither be complete or satisfactory..
The writing is OK. The issue is what it means.
Throughout the story we see constant references to things that the wife has never done or lingerie she has never worn for her husband... or if if soon to be ex husband. The fact that she has shut down on her husband but comes alive sexually for another man is one thing ... which with respect to the marriage is bad enough .
But keep in mind that JOHN... her husband ..KNOWS the " other guy" fairly well. It is highly probable at some point that John will end up talking to Anthony . John will discover that the wife allowed this other man to do these sexual acts that she would not do with the husband.
THAT is s going to kill the marriage. She doesn't have a low sex drive. She simply does NOT want to fuck her husband. Hey it happens . It does not mean that the wife is evil... But it does mean the marriage is dead
Given what the author told us in the rest of the story the last sentence didn't make any sense at all. The chances of this marriage surviving seem to be zero. If the last sentence read 'And there, in the arms of another man ,she discovered all that she had been missing in her marriage and realised she had to end it', it would at least be credible.
at all the idiots commenting on this piece of crap and yes even at myself for reading the three lines i read.
The writing and premise were OK, if a little overused, but the story as developed was disappointing. It seemed like you started in the middle and never got to the end. What about the other pair? One normally expects to read about them as well in a story about swapping. If the last sentence is to be believed, there must be info about them, and having them all in the same room would actually have helped the credibility. I think you took what may have been a decent enough idea and left it terribly underdeveloped. Try again, either with a new story or more of this one, and see if you can do more with it and not leave so many questions unamswered.
What did it take to write this... about a half hour ? Nice writing... could have been a good story with a little effort.
Very well done! An excellent story perhaps made better by its brevity. Excellent writing.
How could you read so much into such a simple piece of erotic sigh-fi? I'll have to re-evaluate my sense of insight. 3*
Well done, Harry.
A bit rough. The swap went very well from her pov, but we need the other couples story and the aftermath.
This part had little dramatic action, and little conflict. You might have milked her anxiety some more, and tell us what acts she was worked about and why.
However the writing is lucid, the dialog is light but well done. Keepmgoing
but he's right. There was very little to separate this from a vanilla Erotic Coupling. What *was* there simply belied the whole premise of the story. Mechanics were good, but really nothing to set this story apart. I know it's a first effort, but don't bother with a second unless you're willing to tackle the hard questions in a true LW submission.
Well that came out of left field. Which is where this sorry, mistake laden story should have stayed.
I have to disagree with some people on here - when i swapped, i was more in love with my husband than ever. it was nice to feel like a woman again, and sometimes it takes something else to ignite the passion.
my husbands and mines sex life has never been better and we swap once every two months or so
I think it rather strange that all of sudden that she did things with this man that she refused her husband. it seem to sudden for me. She felt bored with her husband if she had been more conciliatory towards her husband adultery would not have entered their lives.
When the couple get together after the event if she starts comparing the two men particularly as one has a bigger cock than the other because that is when the rot can set into the marriage. The husband will probably had a more fulfilling experience also I have given 3 STARS for a well written story.
I can not understand the mentality of a husband who wishes the wife he says he loves wanting her to be used by another man. Marriage problems can often be sorted out between the couple themselves or with help of a counsellor, if no agreement is arrived at divorce is best course.
You needed a lot more back story to make this story worthwhile or even interesting. Badly done.
I loved your writings. The only thing is that you never seem to finish your stories. It would have been nice to find out what happened after that night, how did you feel towards your husband after being with Anthony? My late wife had a bunch of lovers, but she never found one bigger than my almost eight inches, one thing that she told me was, that size didn't matter, it's the excitememt of being with someone new. and that was what kept her going with more guys. she had resigned to the fact that she might never find somebody bigger or better to try but she was happy just going out and trying something new. Hope to read some more new stories from you,
But once Brenda strayed and enjoyed Roger, she was never satisfied with her husband Jim again. She was having sex with Roger no less than four times a week. If Jim was lucky enough to have sex with his wife Brenda, it was once or twice a week. And Brenda made sure Jim always got sloppy seconds. Brenda and Roger continued their affair for a number of years, resulting in Brenda baring three children by Roger to be raised by Jim.
Her desires were re-ignited, but not for her husband.
What is innocent about swapping and having sex with another woman's husband? It may be many things, but it isn't innocent.
I can't agree with many of the criticisms. They appear to conflate their views on spouse-swapping with the storyline. All the author was doing was to portray an incident, not to recommend for or against it. He never said "You should try it, too." Just let the portrayal stand on its own. Your opinions are apart from your intake of the story.
That said, I wish that some missing technical skills had been present. There is too much "telling" and not "showing". In other words, the mental state of the main character was stated, rather than described with the reader gleaning what the author wanted to impart. (Eg, she was 'primal'. What does that mean? Rather than name it, describe it.) This factor takes it from a 5 to a 4.
Short and sweet. I like it! Well written, too, and an interesting perspective. Looking forward to more, thanks!
What about the other spouses story. I would suggest they have less than a stellar session making John rethink his idea to swap. While his wife wants to try it some more. And what disharmony that causes in the family.
I would like the story better if it was fleshed out more; particularly, the reunion with her husband, how her reignited desires affected their relationship, and whether more swapping was in their future. Overall, well written and passionate.