Is Enough Really Enough?

"Pal, shake my hand. I wish you the very best and I hope that you and Deb have years of happiness ahead of you. I'm really happy for both of you."

Arch had made the proper response and he was truly happy for Bernie. So why did he suddenly feel an ache inside. A wistful feeling of "what might have been." An emptiness that he had repressed The words were on the tip of his tongue. He almost asked, "Bernie, how's Denise? Have you seen her? Is she doing well?" He grimaced, realizing that he had almost slipped. He really didn't want to ask those questions, although he was honest enough to admit that he really wanted answers to them.

Bernie smiled sadly. He could almost feel the turmoil in his friend and he really didn't know how he could help. Arch had to find his own resolution and at the present he had to fight this battle alone. It wasn't too much longer before the two friends shook hands again and parted, promising to stay in touch.

********************

"Dee, how much longer are you going to continue to beat yourself. It's been three years since the divorce and you continue to live almost like a hermit. You don't date, you don't socialize with men. Damn, Denise, it's not healthy," exclaimed Debra. "I bet you don't even remember the last time you got laid."

Denise turned to her sister swiftly. "Oh, yes I do, Deb. I will never forget that. That was the beginning of the end of my marriage. That's one thing that I'll never forget. I'll never forget Arch lying in the doorway. That picture will always haunt me." Her voice broke and she had to stop.

"Damn, I'm sorry, Dee. I totally forgot. Shit, me and my big mouth. Please forgive me," Debra begged.

"Oh, Deb. I'm sorry that I snapped at you. That just brought back some lousy memories," Dee sighed. "Let me tell you, sis. The events of that day and the divorce following it changed me. I suddenly started to realize what I had become. For years I wallowed in a swamp of hurt feelings, I spent my days feeling so sorry for myself. I really don't understand how Arch put up with me for so many years. Instead of accepting my infertility and going on with my life, I just allowed myself to become a shrew, blaming the world for my inability to have children.

"I wasn't mature enough or strong enough to appreciate what I did have - a wonderful, loving husband and a pretty good career. I just dwelled on what I couldn't have and made my life miserable as well as Arch's. Bernie tried to bring me to that realization, but I resisted. I wasn't ready. Well, I sure woke up fast. It's just a shame that that wake-up call came just a little too late." Denise had started to tear up and had to stop.

Debra moved to her and held her for a moment, whispering, "It's alright, Dee. I understand, really." She finally released her, sat her down on a chair and got her a glass of water.

"Look, Dee. I really do understand what you've been going through, but you also have to understand that you can't keep shutting yourself away from the world. It's rather obvious that Arch isn't going to come through the front door and sweep you off your feet. You do know that that relationship is over. You have to accept that and move on. Please, Dee. Come with us to the spring fund raising dinner at the club. Bernie got you a ticket. At least you'll get out and mingle with some people - and before you ask, no, Arch won't be there. He is going to another board meeting that night."

Dee nodded wearily. "Okay, Deb. I know you're right. I'll go - why the hell not."

********************

Arch swivelled his chair around and gazed out of his office window. Autumn was well under way and he never failed to appreciate the dazzling display of colors that greeted his eyes. Sighing, he turned back to his desk and opened the newspaper. "It's still early," he thought as he sipped his coffee. "I'll just relax with the paper and finish the coffee."

He read the front section, finding nothing of too much interest. The next section was Society. Arch smiled and was about to toss it aside, when he saw the picture under the fold. It was Denise who was standing with a tall, distinguished looking man. The caption read: British nobleman and local woman announce their engagement.

Arch sat there, numbly, in shock. The paper had fallen from his hands. A terrible sense of loss again pervaded his heart and he put his head in his hands, letting the tears come.

********************

(This is not a serial story. Here we have a beginning, a middle and an ending. It's a truism that writing endings are difficult. I went back and forth on this one a few times before coming to the realization that it's very possible that Arch and Dee's story could very well end this way. Arch is alone and unhappy and it's possible that Denise found someone with whom she could share her life. Is it possible that I may, at some time, revisit Arch and Dee? I truly don't know - perhaps, or perhaps not. It might be fun to again peek into what life has in store for them.)