All Comments on 'Island Love Ch. 03'

by MortonGrange

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  • 57 Comments
tangledweedtangledweedalmost 5 years ago
Another great story burned by the Loving Wives category

This story is a classic romance mystery/adventure and surely would have scored higher if it hadn't had the misfortune of falling into the Loving Wives category. Without a wife to watch being seduced, reconciled or burned, it likely failed to make an impact on those LW base audiences.

The romance topped the mystery/adventure, but even that was done well enough that things weren't too predictable. This is quality writing.

Rockyderek_caRockyderek_caalmost 5 years ago
5

Good trilogy... expected a bigger Fight from Tibby tho, but her character was mysterious.

Freddog6601Freddog6601almost 5 years ago
Enjoyable read

5* for tying this trilogy together in an enjoyable read. Good character development and plot development, although it seemed convoluted at times, it was pulled together nicely.

GrimmerGrimmeralmost 5 years ago
Made for TV

As I read the three chapters I tried to make sense of the characters and the role you had relegated each to play. Gabriel, Tibby Isabel, Phillip, ... Each felt to me like they bit players. Some more so than others. Even the backdrop seemed more like a canvas than a painting. When I tried to visualize the characters, it cleared. This played like a 3 part mini-series just made for TV. Seeing it in this fashion it made more sense.

Nicely written. If made for tv.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 5 years ago
Good Story...

...well written; but in the wrong category. It should have been in Romance.

Please keep writing stories like this of men who know what they are as 'MEN'.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 5 years ago
This story was not written by the same author of Caroline Alone.

Maybe the same person, but not the same mind. We never do find out exactly what prompted the wife to leave, or why the husband had not yet filed for divorce. And it sure as hell didn't make sense why he had to go to her to find out why she abandoned him, on the spot, with nary an explanation or an apology. The wife is your usual brainless self-absorbed entitled slut, but the husband was even more timid, irresolute, docile, and feckless, than the usual pussy's you portray as wronged husbands. Is this your version of the thoughtful reserved cuckold in the British culture?

The plot was obscure, and the action was so disjointed and poorly explained that I couldn't tell exactly who was doing what to whom, why, and why I should care. It was a very curious story, but not compelling or engrossing. Mostly it was just puzzling and tedious. "I lover her, I don't love her, or maybe I would have but then I met Isabella, but then she doesn't love me, but maybe she might if I act exactly like whatever she wants to mold me into but then I don't really know her and she doesn't really know me and maybe Tibby really is sorry except she's been fucking who knows whom for months telling me I'm not right for her. Gees, I'm so confused. Would the author just please make up his mind what I'm supposed to think, say, and do?"

By the time you made up your mind, I couldn't care less. Reread Caroline Alone and reestablish your talent. That was literature. This was a mess.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 5 years ago
Your story was pretty good ,the ending wasn’t plausible.

First the first chapter he left his job as a wealthy man. To go meet Tibby who left him. As thing went along he meets and fall in love with Isabel. Then the fight and Gabriels death.. here the part that troubles me going from the mountain to the airport looking for her .he books the only seat out on one of 3 destinations ,has no idea where gabriel is and miraculous appears behind him going thru security. You could have done a better job on this connection . What’s the odds here. Some kind of miracle. You said he was rich so why the job worries.??

Schwanze1Schwanze1almost 5 years ago
Oustanding

Enjoyed it

johnadpjohnadpalmost 5 years ago
Good Not Great

Imaginative story. It could have been much better if it wasn't so dramatic. I felt like a black and white movie where everyone, especially the women were being over-dramatic.

She turns to him and asks, "But Butler, surely you don't love me." Then she turns back to him puts the back of her hand to her forehead and asks him, "you don't, do you?"

The premise was good, you can write, the bad part was the melodrama, and caricature characters. Gabriel seemed like this fiendish character you saw in some of those black and white movies that as soon as you first saw him you know he did it.

You said at the beginning of part one that you hoped the story elicits thought. The part that was somewhat interesting is the death of the relationship with Tibby. That relationship had obviously died for both of them a while back, just Tibby was the first one to take action to try to change her unhappiness. It was obviously dead for him as well since her loss didn't seem to mean much for him. He seemed to care more about Tim and Nicole, then of course Isabel, probably the rich Americans and maybe even the cast members in the little play than about Tibby. Even if the relationship has soured for both, sometimes when one pulls the trigger and decides to leave the other still feels the sting of being left behind. That's all it was for him.

Tibby's courage to try to make a new go for herself by getting out of an unhappy marriage and a job she hated triggered the same for him. He says she is restless and he is much more committed. His personality type he probably would have stayed for the rest of his life in an unhappy marriage and a job he hated.

MitchFraellMitchFraellalmost 5 years ago

Very good story. I enjoyed reading it. Now you left it open to write about Tibby and tell what she got up to.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 5 years ago
Excellent ending.

A well written and convincing wrap up to a compelling read.

5*

chilleywilleychilleywilleyalmost 5 years ago
A resort Trump might have run

The intro talked about exploring relationships: there were three relationships, which was one or two too many to really explore to any extent. I thought the back story overwhelmed them all. The romance went way too fast, the phrase fools rush in comes to mind. IMO the other couple added nothing to the story, and how the wife got involved in this wasn’t covered well, nor exactly what she did. How much was she paid, and for what.

That said, basic writing was quite good,

Chilleywilley

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 5 years ago

I learned the word ‘incendiarist’ but does anyone really use that instead of ‘arsonist’

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 5 years ago
What I Liked

Interesting characters. Relationships failing purely due to selfishness. Boy and girl together at the end. What's not to like?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 5 years ago
Very different and interesting story

Story held my interest all the way through. Characters were a bit thin, could have used more detail. Overall it worked and one of the best stories I have read here in years.

Thanks. All three segments got 5*

johntcookseyjohntcookseyalmost 5 years ago
Prospero’s island?

Right about the time Phillip “lost the thread of the conversation” in the Hotel bar, I kinda lost the thread of the story - especially all the secondary plot tangents - Tim/Nicole, Blister/Zoltan, etc. Between the play fiasco and the fire, things turned quite chaotic. It untangled for me when the story refocused on Phillip/Isabel/Gabriel/Tibby. I wanted more about Tim/Nicole, but perhaps in another story. Her character is too strong to be lost in the periphery.

Ambitious, and fun. Quite a lot of action packed into “Island Love”. Many thanks.

26thNC26thNCalmost 5 years ago
Good wrap

Very.interesting series of stories and characters. I have to admit that I enjoyed it. Very good writing.

eightytuneseightytunesalmost 5 years ago
Winding Road

Twists and turns. Confusion. Marriages that are with the wrong partner(s) or just not ready to be in a relationship. THEN the sky clears, and two find their way. But I was doubting in what would happen until the scene in the airport. Great ending.

looking4itlooking4italmost 5 years ago

This story took a nosedive with the introduction of Gabriel. At that point it really became silly and two dimensional. I will admit I thought I had most of the plot figured out but didn’t and I like it when that happens. Of course Phillip and Isabel were going to end up together, the other characters were where I missed.

patilliepatilliealmost 5 years ago
Nice job

I like happy endings, and this had that, 5*

enderlocke27enderlocke27almost 5 years ago
holy cow

that dialog was all over the place i dont think it made any sense. seem to get worse as the chapter came out, made every character sounds like they were concussed and had short term memory issues

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 5 years ago
Everyone seemed

Demented! The dialogue is crazy. One minute everyone is up then next minute there down! The dialogue is all over the place! I felt like I was scatterbrained just reading it! My advice would be to slow down and make your characters seem like they are sane!

etchiboyetchiboyover 4 years ago
Weird — in a bad way.

Like a stream of consciousness version of an angiquesophie story, complete with strange and demented people/men who can see a submissive personality in seconds of conversation, and don’t mind using that person in a degrading way what so ever.

And what the heck happens to Tibby? Does she get off the island?

We know Nicole gets off the island, but she is now psychologically injured. Does she make her scheduled concert performance? Or does she fall into a deadly depression because she gets no help as no one recognizes her problem and Tim is leaving her to her own devices?

This is soooo unlike your other works. Again, it’s like stream of conciousness writing. There is little “logical” flow. Crazy things happen left and right. Conversations jump around adding to the craziness. People lying left and right. Accusations and denials flying everywhere. Ugh.

Hmmm... kinda reminds me of some Italian “art house” movies I’ve seen. Is that the type of story you were aiming for? Then you succeeded. Didn’t like the Italian movies either.

Maybe, like people tell me about my views on the Italian movies, I’m just not sophisticated enough to grasp the beauty of the story telling. Hmmm... well, if I don’t have the intellect then I don’t have the intellect. And I’m the loser for it.

I’d given a few of your stories 5-stars & Favorite, but sorry I think, despite all your hard work, this only deserves 3-stars.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 4 years ago
Fits in perfectly

With your style, overwrought and overly intricate without reason. Yes, fits in perfectly with the pompous statements you make in your bio and at the intro of the story.

Try the "less is more" approach.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 4 years ago

I enjoyed the story thank you, you do write very well.

YouamiYouamialmost 4 years ago

MG

I really liked your tale. There were parts where I wondered the direction it was going. But that was good because it left me to the mercy of my own imagination. Your writing style is unique. With this tale I was reminded of the author Michael J Bird of "the Lotus Eaters" fame, what with the exotic setting and references to Greek myths and the like. An excellent submission...thank you!

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
A mess....

Biggest problem was your protagonist, Philip, was completely unlikable — the guy just had no redeeming qualities.

Tibby was cipher. Isobel was just weird. Tim and Nicole were boring.

Sigh.....

GrimmerGrimmerover 3 years ago

Came back for a second read.

Too dramatic with unlikeable characters, especially Philip.

It was different and a nice change from the usual. Like the touch of Greek myth.

Still best I could rate was a moderate four.

WisquejacWisquejacover 3 years ago

A bit too convoluted but I liked most of it.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 3 years ago

The postman from Porlock would be pleased.

LA

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

The main problem with this story is Philip's immature behavior. Who wants to read about a lovesick boy who moves on to his next infatuation? All of his actions are a little creepy.

PorterrhPorterrhalmost 3 years ago

Dreadful story ……

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Actually well written. Can't believe Tim would marry a cheap tramp like Nicole when he knows she's fucking her coach. Tibby is a brain dead cunt. Better off without her.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Very well written. Great dialog, great pace, and intrigue keeping me in suspense. Please continue to write.

Richie4110Richie4110over 2 years ago

Outstanding story, well told, and a professional effort. I feel very lucky to have found it.

Thanks

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

While I enjoyed most of the story, I felt it was too hectic. I didn't understand the need for Blister and Co, and I didn't understand the part of Nicole in the pageant, or the confusion of who put her there. And was Ben really a baddie? And how did Tibby change her attitude? Still, not a bad read.

JohnAmalfi4104JohnAmalfi4104over 2 years ago

Really well done. I like that it's a story full of damaged people. I also like that Philip had poor Tibby's number right from the start.

It's best that Tim and Nicole broke up, but to a very real extent he knew what he was getting into.

Karn9Karn9over 2 years ago

Much better reading, easier to follow, good ending 4*

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

Your dialog seems tilted sort of like the clachet of the English stuff Stuffed shirt.

Philip seems like a dim guy and the whole plot seemed hectic and discordant Philip seems like a dim guy and the whole plot seemed hectic and discordated.

I can appreciate the other At the end of the readers enjoyed it however I can tell you that I just really don't enjoy the style.

At the end of the readers enjoyed it however I can tell you t

hat I just really don't enjoy the style. This is not a person reflection I knew it's simply a reflection of my taste.

TeggeTeggeabout 2 years ago

Thanks for a great story. There seems to be lots of avenues to explore from here on the loving wives/romance side. Tibby moving forward Tim/Nicole as well as Philip/Isabel. Please write some more.

hardworker5556hardworker5556about 2 years ago

Really liked this story. Well-written, good plot, plenty of drama and adequate sex.

dirtyoldbimandirtyoldbimanalmost 2 years ago

can't believe I read all of this poorly written story. Perhaps the best part was him taking 2 slices of pizza and just 1 bottle of water for his hike up the mountain. LOL

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Phillip is such a loser clueless character, more of a slow dithering fool.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

All the women on the island are loser clueless characters, unworthy of a relationship and only good for a pump and dump the filthy cunts.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

@dirtyoldbiman

can't believe I read all of this poorly written story. Perhaps the best part was him taking 2 slices of pizza and just 1 bottle of water for his hike up the mountain. LOL -

Do you know the size of the "bottle"?

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

Pretty sure this author writes trashy romance novels in his day job. Not a bad read, but truthfully the story belonged in the Romance section. Not LW.

I do disagree with those saying this was a poorly written story. It was very well crafted

HighBrowHighBrowabout 1 year ago

Femdom agitprop with a Romance HEA. No Sex. Lots of tension in the first half of the series, then got kind of random.

Schwanze1Schwanze110 months ago

Well, the duel was really good

AnonymousAnonymous8 months ago

HighBrow, something is wrong with you.

I think you have an unhealthy obsession with the concept of feminist propaganda, it's not the only time you have dropped your favourite term 'femdom agitprop'.

Another time I read your comment, it was absurdly in direct contrast to the story. In that one, yes she had been a woman gifted with a life of plenty because her husband was rich, but before her fall, she had even been a generous wife and mother, and when she went to the dark side, her husband did not give a quarter, and she lost absolutely everything. Not a banner feminist narrative.

In this one, you can see that his ex was trying to manipulate him as a means of escaping her bad choices, but other than that, Philip had the normal emotions of a man deserted just four months previously... and then refused to be drawn in by her. He did not give in to her, and was direct in his communication and stance.

He left her to fend for herself, even in a time of crisis.

As for Isabel... what can I say? She was a mysterious figure, but she certainly did not dominate him. At the most, she was cautious and realistic, looking out for the interests of her daughter, living the life that had been thrust upon her. But she was not one of entitlement and feminine superiority.

At least keep your stupid catchphrase for stories where it's actually relevant.

Methinks thou dost protest too much.

AnonymousAnonymous8 months ago

Haha, it's hilarious to read some of these critical comments.

I don't care about the anony/named comment difference. As far as I'm concerned, people who register a name are still anonymous. Who do they answer to? When do they have to look an author in the face and say such disrespectful things?

None of you would be brave enough to do this in public, either anony or named. You are invincible keyboard warriors, and that's as far as it goes.

I admire anyone who posts to LW, even the cuck fetishists. It's a brave thing to form a creative idea and present it for public scrutiny, especially here. I am a BTB fan, I detest anything but the best reconciliation stories (not RAAC), and I hate cuck stuff... but you know what? I just don't read what I don't like. I don't take it personally, and of it's not too my taste, I don't disparage the author or rate them down out of spite.

As for this series, it's rated approximately 4.3 after around 30,000 readers. That says to me that most kept their interest over three installments, appreciated the idea, liked the work, and liked the outcome.

There are only almost 50 comments on this story as I write mine. It seems to me that reading most of these comments, I should expect a score of maybe 1.5 or 2.0.

That says to me that the people most likely to comment are those who have psychological issues or personality defects. All with an axe to grind.

You reveal yourself more than you add value for an amateur author, helping him or her to improve.

It's like looking on at bullies trying to assert their dominance on a secondary school playground.

I fart in your general direction.

HighBrowHighBrow6 months ago

This could be a pretty good movie.

oldtwitoldtwit6 months ago

I agree with HighBrow below, it could be a better movie than this as a book, it lacked something, I just wish I could tell you what it was.

I think it got confusing in the middle, but I enjoyed reading.

AnonymousAnonymous5 months ago

Fantastic romantic ending. A reluctant fight for love and survival. A beautiful heroine with child. Not a relaxing holiday but a dramatic change in life/destiny. Hopeful future in a mutually supportive way. (Symbiotic?)

AnonymousAnonymous5 months ago

Still mildly confusing, I still say all blame goes to the ex-wife (women want us to be mind readers and open to them but they are NEVER open, honest or above board) but I like a happy ending.

AnonymousAnonymous4 months ago

The story had a bizarre bent to it, but overall pretty decent.

.

So my best summation: MC is left by Tibby out of the blue. Neither is happy in their marriage, but are unable to voice this dissatisfaction. It seems as though it was a whirlwind romance gone awry. Tibby needs a sudden change just to feel like she’s breaking the mold. This goes poorly. Tibby is basically wait staff and perhaps more a companion than sex partner for resort visitors. She unwillingly gets in over her head during the blackmail scheme and foolishly attempts to push through it rather than ask for help. MC is an idealist who deals more in short term interests than long term stability. He fancies Isabella and decides that there is great romance to be had. Isabella, the only grounded character, investigates a resort with two criminals in charge. She gets the evidence but sees MC as the male equivalent of a manic pixie girl and likes his reckless romantic side. Tim loves his wife, but she hates herself so much that she despises him for loving her. In the end, MC throws together a half-assed idea for life and romance and Isabella says “eh, let’s see what happens.”

.

Weird story, weird plot, but I guess ok. I didn’t see a lot of growth for anyone, but I agree that this would make for a better short series or movie than in a written medium.

ChopinesqueChopinesqueabout 2 months ago

Very much a five star story. There were moment when I didn't follow everything, but neither did Philip!

AnonymousAnonymous23 days ago

Hopelessly romantic thriller. A great metaphor about having the lovers fly into the rising sun and a brighter future. (Almost cinematic?)

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userMortonGrange@MortonGrange
I post occasional writing that fits the loving wives brief. If a few readers enjoy my stories it is enough to make writing worthwhile. But the main reward for the author is to get feedback, positive or negative, from those who have read my story. Readers have to make an eff...

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