by scorpio415
great start! please keep it going sooner than later
Don't know where some authors were educated but they could use an editor. This rotten use of "..." and "word -- word" structure for a pause isn't proper nor accepted, this is the function of the simple coma (,) and ending a sentence with "--" also is improper. A good editor who will see and remove such bad usage is needed.
The incorrect pauses didn't bother me that much, I'd have to say it was the boredom I had while reading it that produced all the bother.
She's got a good head on her shoulders. He's probably a jerk, but she's giving him a chance to do things the right way. What's not to like? Yeah, the ellipses should be handled correctly, but this is a first story. Good structure, she's evolving, hope she doesn't get hurt.
Story has a good start, I'll wait for more before making any judgment.