by SatanJD
i didn't check the date on this, so don't know when you wrote it, but i sincerely hope you either did write, or plan on writing, a sequel. sooooooo hot!
I really liked the idea of switching between him and her as the storyteller.
....you SHOULD write a sequel. This has been a fantastic debut and , if the rest of your work is up to the high standard which you have reached with this tale, you are destined for great things in this industry.
5/5
I thought it was first class. Give us the sequel soon.
Would love to see more as this storyline has great potential with many avenues that can be explored.
Can not wait for the next story.
I loved the story and i like how you actually want critism. Im kinda a fiction fan on books but i like the incest stories..not ones that are from someone that is comeplete joke of a writer like the one i read before yours...thinking that fucking a sister-in-law is incest. That guy is a joke. But you, you have great potential. Yoou mixed up a couple words and mispelled 1 or 2, but this is a first-class story. I gave a suggestion to another writer before that im going to give you now. Use microsoft office word and then copy and paste. Not sure if it wwill work or not so send it to my email for weather or not it works...i meant to say for you to send something like "yes it does work" or"no it doesnt work." Cant wait for the nxt chapter. So have a good day and have fun writing and have more good days to come.
Thank you,
-A.
You got a "5" on this one and really liked the way you wrote it.! Thanks. JAG
That was an awesome story. I accidentally gave it a one when I meant to give it a five. I really think you should continue writing. :)
I liked reading this story & I hope you will continue it soon.
Great stuff, definitely worth a sequel. I gave it 5 stars and I really look forward to reading more of Sam and April's adventures. The scope is almost unlimited.
Written well, maybe just a little more time for them to emotionally adjust. Definitely worth a sequel!!
keep it to one point of view it gets confusing when you keep jumping back and forth. slow down and don't rush things after she got to his place it went to fast what happened in a few hours should have been spread over days or weeks. they hadn't seen each other for years and would have needed time to get to know each other again especially since there was no sexual interest between them before he left.
@ 1st I was confused with the switching of character point of view but I caught on pretty quick :) good job Im looking forward to reading what comes next...keep it up!
I really enjoyed this. Brother/sister stuff always gets me hot, and this was really well written, which makes it better. I really liked when he ate her pussy, savoring her taste. Well done.
Really great read, thank you SatanJD! Turned me on so bad, can't wait for the next chapter!
I mean intellectual exercise. It took me a while to come to terms with two folk telling the story but 'experience and effort' (heh heh) made it happen.
Nice job, I liked it!
you crammed a months worth of story into less than one day. what happened here should be spread out over a month andd several chapters delete and do a proper rewrite and use a good editor.
I liked it just fine. Short is ok sometimes too :). No need to drag that out over several chapters and annoyingly tease it up. If he'd done that he would have turned the guy into one of those conflicted pussy whiner guys you see i so many stories trying to pretend they dont want to fuck their sister when they do ;)
Please write a sequel
I really loved this story, so Hott & exciting.