All Comments on 'Jake's Fortune Ch. 02'

keep it coming

The setup is well done. I liked the introduction and hope you have a good storyline prepared.

great intro and finally someone thought of a pure energy being in sci-fi

Your start appears to have an amazing of potential.

If I had picked up a SF book that started this well, I would be very well pleased.

and one of the comments was:

"I liked the introduction and hope you have a good storyline prepared."

in other words, this far in and no one can yet detect a storyline.

oops. two "chapters" that are not yet a full page in length and still no storyline.

meh.

Needs to be longer at least two pages longer otherwise great start but thats all it is a start