All Comments on 'Jake's Fortune Ch. 07'

by vWrath

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  • 12 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
More

more more more!!!!!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
new abilities need more explanation

To cram in a mindmelding into the last 200 words and then ending the conversation was really lame. Also the level of detail and worldbuilding, which increased in the past chapters, dropped massively in this one. I hope you go back to your old style.

vWrathvWrathalmost 10 years agoAuthor
Re: new abilities need more explanation

I'll take that into consideration. Thank you.

redlion75redlion75almost 10 years ago

ok so they are going someplace that is 3mos away by light speed and it takes 10 days to get up to light speed,but then the have to coast to slow down for 2mos?that mean that only traveled for 5 days at light speed right?then at the end hannah comes to him to ask why he is pulling away from her then she does it to him after the mind melding thing?neither of those 2 things make sense to me.

vWrathvWrathalmost 10 years agoAuthor
@redlion75

They accelerate for 10 days, then spend 2.5 months coasting, then decelerate for 10 days.

Hannah decided to visit him near the end of the coasting period.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
longer chapters with more detail

Story needs more detail. Also longer chapters would be appreciated. It's frustrating to have minimal information on just one page. Interested to see where your going with your story line though.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
Would love some more

I've really been enjoying this story, and I truly appreciate how quickly you post your chapters. Maybe you could start grouping chapters together and release 3 at a time? I'd be willing to read less often if I could really get a good read through the chapters. I get that you like short chapters, just a thought.

rightbankrightbankalmost 10 years ago
ok you have shown us the outline

when do we get the story?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
Quit being a fucking tease!

I just finished reading all of the chapters: you have posted. You need to make them more than one page long. I will check on this story again in the near future hopefully you'll have done something better.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
tool short

why do you make each chapter so short?

vWrathvWrathalmost 10 years agoAuthor
Re: Short chapters

Sorry about the short chapters, each chapter is 8 pages in my word processor. I can hardly write longer than that per.

I hope you understand that this is my very first experience writing on Literotica, and my very first attempt at writing ever. I still have a ways to go to perfect this.

I'll keep them short like this, unless you prefer me not posting them at all and combining them into one long story once I'm done.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
great!!

Really enjoying your story and the twist and turns. You have excellent imagination. Thanks and keep up the good work.

Anonymous
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