All Comments on 'Jake's Fortune Ch. 08'

Your writing style and story line is great. My only thought is, why did you put this on Literotica? Doesn't seem to fit the genre of the site.

However, I will continue to read it and enjoy it. You have 5 stars from me until it's completed.

Thanks

Like the story. Still seems short on details. Who is this mike person? What does he have in common with jake? What happened after he was recognized by the woman? They crewman who saw him kissing Hannah. Did he tell the crew about that? Or about him being a legend? Flesh out your story with more detail and give us more than one page. Though I am enjoying the story line, it reads more like a rough draft of the finished product.

@Anonymous:

This is all explained over the next few chapters. I introduce things gradually. That's my way of writing, and I'm sorry if it's difficult to follow.

I think the short chapters are what's causing the confusion, but I can't change what I submitted so far. I'll try to combine chapters in the future.

@babasluv:

I'm not sure what you mean by "doesn't fit". It is erotic in nature, although the erotic content is a bit sparse; I only include it when it benefits the storyline though.

I hope everyone enjoys my story, and I really appreciate your feedback.