Jasmin: Now Married, Then Guilty

Jasmin's sighs became little squeals and she was really thumping up and down on me. I had to leave her breasts alone because I needed both hands to hold onto her hips.

I was ready to give up on trying to hold back my own release. Jasmin's pussy was as talented as I remembered, rhythmically squeezing my dick. There is nothing on this earth as pleasurable as her pussy.

Jasmin caught her breath briefly and stilled on me. She leaned back and I felt her hair waving back and forth over my legs. Just as I moved one hand up her body back to those glorious nipples she was moving again, slowly grinding around on me as she kept leaning back.

I could see her tongue lolling out of her open mouth but I couldn't see Jasmin's face, her head hung back too far. Running my hand over her wide hips, up over her always slim waist, over her silky belly and grasping her perky breasts is heavenly stimulation - all part of the pleasure that is Jasmin.

Jasmin's slow undulations were increasing in intensity. She made a low moan, her hands going to my legs behind her to hold herself up. I just love seeing her in the throes...

Her movements began to increase against me, Jasmin grinding her pussy into my groin. She quickly became frantic, her ongoing squeals the best music for my ears. Then I was cumming also. Finding release in Jasmin after so long without her felt just like coming home.

But blowing my nuts in the condom was not so satisfying as in her. However, Jasmin didn't seem to notice as much as I did, still writhing around on me. I held her as she thrashed out the last of her orgasm and then pulled her to me. She let herself lie flat, her long nipples bullet hard against my chest.

We looked at each other, neither of us willing to say anything that would end the moment. After a bit she rolled off of me and lay beside me on the bed. We slept for a while.

Later, cuddling on the bed, we talked. Jasmin agreed that she needed to get herself tested. I told her to take the Lexus to the doctor tomorrow and I would drive her car. That way she shouldn't be bothered out and about by herself as any of the men formerly involved with her would be looking for her Mazda. I told her not to expect that I had taken her back just yet. "Let's just say that for now you are on trial," I said.

I also wanted to finish her diary and then talk with her more seriously about our situation. Jasmin warned me that as she had written more about her experiences she had gradually became more detailed as she relived them, getting herself heated with her own eroticism. I said I had already noticed that.

It was nice to see she could still be embarrassed. I laughed seeing her colour, telling her that she had always been a sensual girl.

"After all," I said. "You've been here for three days now and I am at the end of my tether. How long did you imagine you could parade your sultry self around here before I jumped all over-"

Jasmin shut 'me' up then with her mouth over mine. Of course that had been her plan all along. We ended up in another passionate embrace and rolling around on the bed. By nightfall a new packet of condoms was required.

Sex is the best with Jasmin. It's never been better with anyone else. But it isn't enough of course for a relationship. Love is enough but when trust has been destroyed then love can die. According to Jasmin the reasons were all in her secret diary. I had said to her that reasons were not enough to rekindle lost love. She was upset then of course, thinking that we had rekindled something in bed today.

I told her of course that she was still the most desirable chick on the planet, but while she had that saucy smile on her face I added that desire for her has never been an issue for me, her demonstrable lack of loyalty was the issue. As for resurrecting our love from the ashes, I told her that was entirely up to her actions. I would finish reading her secret diary and then if circumstances between us were right we could commence a probationary period of undisclosed duration, entirely up to myself. Jasmin tried to agree conditionally. Her condition was being able to see eleven year old Gregory. But I refused, only saying that if we were going to stay together she would at least see him before his twelfth birthday, only two months hence. Tears in her eyes, she agreed to that, knowing that any other way would mean we were all over for good.

After having some dinner (I think Jasmin cooked a tom yum thai dish which would ordinarily be a good reason of itself to keep her around) I went upstairs by myself to keep reading the diary. I both loved and hated how detailed Jasmin's diary was. The detail was explicit, both emotionally erotic and painful but it also made the read quite a bit longer than you would expect from a diary.

Perhaps she might have called them something else; journal was suggested by one US anon; but Jasmin was only eighteen at the time and as she already kept a regular diary, she just named it another diary. Since she started writing it after she had known me for a time and I was already writing, Jasmin decided to take a much more vivid approach. Her language is as you would expect from an eighteen year old and I've edited some of it while still remaining true to her experiences.

I think the style she chose to use came from reading the letters in penthouse and fiesta magazines. She never admitted they were turning her on but she never failed to ask me if I had any new ones she could read.

The following I read after leaving Jasmin downstairs. Unlike her regular diaries, Jasmin's Diary of my Guilt was written in only when she had something she did not want to confess to anyone, hence it jumps from episode to episode without much regard to dates. I know when the incidents took place (so far) but I rewrite it as much as I can in her style.

She as much admitted to me that she relives her experiences when she reads her diary. Otherwise why would she write about them? If we stay together I will have to somehow deal with that.

* * *

Every time I open you, Diary of my Guilt, to write something I see those words that Rick has written inside the front cover. Shamefully, they are proving to be true:-

-- To the beautiful Jasmin,

The absolute hottest slut ever. The finest piece of arse anyone has ever fucked,

Rick --

I think I'll liquid paper it out soon, it's very annoying.

On the bright side I have not seen or heard from Ed in a month. I can't forget him but I think he hasn't bothered me because, if he has the recent photos of me in his son's room, then he knows that I know about his hidden camera. If he tries to blackmail me with more photos I can tell Rick that his father secretly photographs his room. So that problem is fixed, I hope.

Two nights ago Linda had her birthday party. She is nineteen now. I really wanted Damien to go with me. He was on night shift again (I think Damien might have pissed off the roster clerk at his station) and at the start of a set of them so he wasn't keen on Linda's party. I convinced him to go and said we could leave early.

I had been planning on telling Linda about Damien asking me to marry him and me agreeing, but lately I don't know about trusting my friend too much. So at the time I hadn't told anyone that I was engaged to be married.

Linda had been acting a bit funny with me lately. Sometimes she was the same old fun Linda from school. Other times she has been pretty nasty, usually when we talk about our boyfriends. Craig told her he was assaulted coming back late from the corner store and that's when his leg was broken. Sometimes Linda seems angry with me over Craig.

I should tell her how he raped me at the pool and tried to again at Ed's house. But I thought if I told her the truth she would tell Craig they were over and Linda loves Craig so much. Little did I know how much Linda really loves Craig and would believe whatever he said over me.

Damien loves me in a skirt or dress so I wore a knee length purple skirt with a white laced bodice blouse for him that night. While we were driving there I wanted to take his dick out and suck him. It is so nice. But it's still hard for me to start doing things like that. It's much better when Damien asks me to suck him. I love it then.

But Damien wanted to play with my legs during the drive. When his hand went inside my wet panties and he started fingering me I forgot all about sucking his dick.

I love that too. I can never ask him to do it to me because it's too embarrassing. But letting him finger me when he wants to feels really good.

There was an old bloke that met us at Linda's door. The porch light was off so I couldn't see him properly. Actually it's her mother's house and her mother was away with her boyfriend for the weekend so Linda had the place to herself for her party Saturday night. It's a three bedroom place with a large covered entertainment area out the back and the party was mostly there.

"Do come in, Jasmin," and he was taking my hand inside his. His hand held mine quite hard, holding on much too tightly until I was inside and he let me go. I knew the voice and the guy was familiar.

"Ah, and this must be your boyfriend, Damien. Pleased to meet one of New South Wales' finest," he said. "I'm Carl."

As Damien was saying, "Pleased to meet you Carl, I didn't think there would be anyone older than me here tonight," I was in a panic.

It was that Carl. What was he doing there at Linda's party. Did it also mean that Ed was there somewhere? Were they going to say something to Damien? Was my life with Damien going to end tonight?

While Carl chatted with Damien I had a better look at him than on Ed's front lawn that night.

He is nearly bald and maybe that makes the lanky arsehole look older than he is. He's in his fifties though that's for sure. I saw his hands also. Carl's fingers are long and bony. I remembered having them inside me that night with Ed. I knew my face was bright red already. Hopefully Damien wouldn't notice.

"Interesting old fella," Damien said to me after we went through the house. "Where do you know him from?"

I didn't know what to say. There was a large crowd, maybe fifty people, out the back and thankfully I saw Linda there. I called out hello and happy birthday greetings and rushed down the steps out the back to give her a hug. She hadn't wanted any presents, just that us friends of hers would help pay for the party. We had ended up all paying $25 and that got us the DJ until three in the morning.

Linda hugged me back and at the same time whispered in my ear, "Who's getting lucky tonight?" She had a weird smile on her face as she looked past me.

I looked back up the stairs where she was looking and saw Damien talking with Carl again. "Not unless we leave real early. He's got to work tonight."

"Carl doesn't," Linda said. "He's gonna fuck you stupid later."

"Huh?" I was speechless. I think my mouth was hanging open in shock with how Linda was talking to me. I looked around quickly at the others closest to us but with the loud music and everyone having fun no one seemed to have heard what she said.

"That's the best birthday present you can give me Jasmin," said Linda vehemently. "Let me see the old codger fuck your slut arse."

"Linda, I..." What could I say? I didn't know what kind of bullshit Carl had told her.

"Come with me," Linda continued. "We need to talk." She took my hand and pulled me away from everyone and into the back yard.

My mind was still in a whirl. I had no idea what Linda was thinking, what anyone had told her. Linda dragged me behind the shed. There was a boy and girl behind the shed kissing when we got there. I think her name is Charmaine. Linda asked them to give her and I some privacy.

Charmaine looked at me once and then pulled her boyfriend past us back to the party. I didn't notice at the time because I was so worried about what Linda was thinking and Carl being there, but I think now that Charmaine had a filthy look on her face while she watched me. I didn't really notice the boy.

"You must really love your little brother, Jasmin," said Linda. It was dark behind the shed so I couldn't see her face very clearly. I didn't know what she was on about now.

"Yes of course I love David," I answered her. "But I haven't done anything with him. I mean anything wrong."

"Haha." Usually Linda has a nice laugh but her laugh now sounded quite nasty to me. "Yeah you love him a lot, sure. You must cause you fucked Rick to get a toy for your brother."

"Oh." That was only the second time that night that my mouth was hanging open with me unable to say anything. It wasn't the last time by far.

"There were photos. I had to do it," I started to say. But the truth really was that I hadn't had to, I had let it happen.

"I've seen photos too, Jasmin. I saw that you broke Craig's leg!" Linda was seething with anger. I thought she was going to start screaming at me.

I had never wanted to tell her what Craig was like. But I had to. I knew that then. "He was going to, they were going to rape me."

"You're such a liar, Jasmin. Craig told me all about it. You were enticing all of them but you only wanted Rick and his dad."

"No, Linda," I cried. "You have to believe me. They were going to rape me."

"Yes, I saw how you were raped," Linda said but her tone gave me no hope that I had reached her. "I saw the photos of you with Rick after that. You weren't fighting him at all. You were clawing his back and squeezing the cum out of him with your legs."

"Linda!" I almost yelled at her, something I have never done to my friends. I felt like I was on quicksand. I could feel my friendship with Linda ending right at that moment. I was desperate for her to believe me when I said, "It's not the first time. Craig raped me at wet 'n wild. I didn't want to tell you-"

"Craig told me about that, Jasmin. He said you would lie about it if you ever told me. He told me you asked him to stay back and finish putting oil on your back. He told me how you had jacked him off, refusing to let him go until he came. Craig said you wanted to compare him with Damien."

Again I was speechless. I think Linda had me in tears even then.

"You were going to yell out unless he came for you. You fucking bitch, Jasmin. You were my best friend."

"No, no, no, Linda. It wasn't like that. Craig raped me there. You remember how I wouldn't talk to him after that?" I know I had tears on my cheeks then. It was bad because it probably made me seem guilty.

"Yes, you wouldn't talk to him because Craig didn't agree to fuck you so you could compare that with Damien as well. He didn't rape you there, Jasmin. Not possible anyone could do that there and not be seen."

"Linda, you have to believe me. Craig is not the good person you think he is. He's just using you for his-" I have never been slapped by a friend before. The slap from Linda then was not the only one a supposed friend would give me that night.

"You shut up, you lying slut, Jasmin." Linda was livid.

I was rubbing my face and I don't remember being able to see Linda very well through my tears then. What was I to do? Linda soon told me.

"I wanted to tell Damien exactly what you're like, Jasmin. He deserves better. He's actually a nice guy and boy do you have him fooled."

I know I was really crying then. With Linda burning me like that, Damien was the only good thing I had left in my life.

Linda wasn't finished with me yet though, not by a long margin. "Even Gloria is honest about what she wants," she said. "But Craig came up with a much better idea. Apparently Carl hates slopehead sluts like you. But he does want to fuck you silly. So if you do that tonight I won't tell Damien what you are really like."

I slipped down against the shed then. When I looked up, Linda was gone. It took me a little while to calm down. No one came in that time. What could I do? I had to think clearly, to plan how to get out of there with Damien. I thought then that Carl was playing friendly with Damien because it was part of his plan for how to get me. Whatever happened, I just had to make sure that I left with Damien.

I didn't care about anything then except being with Damien. So tonight I would tell him that I would come to Bondi and stay in his flat with him there. Let them show Damien those photos after that if they wanted. I would cross that bridge when it came. So that was my plan.

I remember some war quote. I probably heard it from Damien because he loves army stuff. It was that, No plan survives contact with the enemy. I wish I had known then that I was surrounded by enemies. I was a fool. My plan of waiting and thinking was foolish because I didn't know how many enemies were around me. I should have gone and taken Damien's hand and dragged him out right then. But that's hindsight and I didn't. I couldn't think what was the best thing to do so I did nothing.

The next I knew there was a guy, Brett I think, helping me to stand up. He asked if I was ok and handed me a drink, "To help calm you down," he said. I smelled strong wine. I was so upset it didn't occur to me that Brett should not know I needed to calm down from anything.

The wine wasn't very sweet. Later they told me they were also putting vodka in my wine.

After a while I felt better and went back to the party with Brett. Someone handed me another glass and then I saw Damien. He was dancing with Gloria. That bitch. She had never made any pretence about not fancying Damien, even asking if I would lend him for a threesome. I thought she had been joking but seeing them dancing then I was sure she wanted him.

I began dancing also and worked through the people to where they were. Damien's dancing had gotten better in the time I had known him but he still didn't like it much. But he was enjoying himself, smiling and laughing. I decided not to think about anything but having a good time with Damien. Soon Gloria left us alone. She knew Damien wasn't interested I suppose.

Lots of the other girls I saw while we were dancing looked at me with quite a bit of malice. Did everyone know what Craig had been saying? Yes, they must have all heard and believed the lies that he had told. I thought to go and find Craig then. At least I could give him a piece of my mind before I left with Damien. So I told Damien I was going to the bathroom and I left on my mission.

Craig's leg was still in a cast so I thought he might be inside somewhere, probably having some pot with other mates of his. I finished the wine before I went inside. Stupid I know now but I thanked Brett for another wine before I went upstairs through the back door.

It didn't take long to find the arsehole. I thought he would be hiding in a bedroom but the smell led me to him. Craig was sitting at the dining table with a bunch of his mates passing the bong around between them. I'd never thought about it before but with the wine I had already, watching them with the bong looked very silly.

I stood in the kitchen and watched for a while, sipping my spiked wine. I should have stopped drinking it because it didn't taste good. But I guess drinking wine at parties is a silly habit I have. At least I don't smoke anymore. That was never good for my asthma.

When the bong came back to Craig I took a step into the dining room. I was just about to hit Craig on the shoulder when I saw Carl leaning in the corner. That stopped me and as I thought more about what he wanted to do to me, Carl seemed to be very frightening.

While stepping back into the kitchen I think Carl saw me. None of the guys at the table seemed to have noticed me though, being too intent on the bong and giggling among themselves.

I went back out the back to Damien. Gloria had taken the opportunity while I was away to come over and start talking with him. I watched her for a few moments. Her body language was certainly flirtatious, touching Damien on the arm and leaning close to him while laughing at what he said. Was she ever my friend? I wondered.