All Comments on 'Jeanne and I Grow Up in Hawaii'

That was a well-done tale of first love. I'm not sure that it can ever be that easy for two virgins when neither really have any experience but that is only nitpicking. I enjoyed the anxious thoughts of the boy narrating the tale and it kind of brought back the way that I felt that first time so long ago. Good job.

Good story. I would have liked the next section to be after they had finished school and gotten back together.

Love it. It was natural the way it should be without gimics.

Keep it up.

Well done. Leaving the question of what happened after college for another story was an excellent choice. This tale was about their first time together. To continue would detract from that and be anti-climactic. That said, I do hope to read about their reunion after college in another story. Keep up the good work.

Like I said, Wow!

Thanks to all of you! It's always good to hear from people who enjoy my work and take the time to respond. A mainstay for any writer is feedback from the readership. I greatly appreciate any comments or reviews of my work.

The story was written some two years ago (even though it was just posted on Literotica), and, quite frankly, I never considered either a sequel or a 'conclusion' to the story. I guess I figured I'd gone about as far as I could with this couple.

If anyone wants to make some suggestions about their life during the next few years, I would be glad to hear them! What would happen, what would change? Would one or both find someone else? Then would they come back together again? I would more than welcome your further comments and suggestions!

Again, thanks for the feedback!

Barnabus

barnabus329@hotmail.com

I hope I hit the writ score suppose to be perfect I have never read a story with so much feeling...and honesty I just loved it

I really loved the story. As I asked U - Can we have a second part of this story and continuation os this lovelu pair ?

Okay, I have a conception of a sequel . . . but I'm afraid it may not be the 'soft, fuzzy' story that has come so far. My concept is at some point in college . . . both have had experiences with other partners . . . then they get back together . . . but it probably won't have a happy ending. Sorry.

My plate's kinda full right now . . . so I'm not sure how long it will be before I can get to the 'sequel'. And I'm finding my work's coming out a lot slower now that it was a few years ago. But I'll try! Promise!

Once more, I remind you that a mainstay for any writer is feedback from the readership. That includes all writers, not only me, so send in your feedback to whoever you like!

And if you have any suggestions about what happens between Jeanne and "me", our lives during the next few years, I would be glad to hear them! What would happen, what would change? I would more than welcome your further comments and suggestions!

This is YOUR chance to become part of the creative process!

Thanks for the feedback so far!

barnabus

barnabus329@hotmail.com

i really enjoyed this story, the last couple of lines made me laugh. it was a great ending :)

Thanks! I guess the last two lines were kinda funny! They were intended for humor, but also they were intended as a realization of 'the facts of life' by a young person.

I guess sometimes reality and humor coincide.

Thanks for your note!

Barnabus

barnabus329@hotmail.com

Glad your back writing again. There are very few who write in this style so you have been missed. Great story, it reminds me of some friends back in the 60's and into the 70's, the vacation in New England was an every even year thing. They went to different colleges and stayed apart for 2 years, with many letters and phone calls, and then he transfered to her school. It took him a year to arrange a scholarship to cover the difference in tuition. I'll give you a hint at the outcome - I got an invitation this week to their 30th anniversary party in July. Yes we have all stayed in touch for over 40 years, there were 10 of us that grew up "together" and death is the only thing that will keep me from missing this one, my health is great! Every one else in the group married someone from outside and beating all odds we have only one divorce. There is a 6 year spread in our ages with my 49 the youngest and a 23rd anniversary in Aug. the 2nd shortest marriage still together. One hell of a group!

Thanks for the comments. It takes work to maintain long term relationships! This is true of a marriage or a 'less formal' relationship! I'm pleased at the success of your group. It sounds like you're living a good life!

And I appreciate your feedback to me. Thank you.

Barnabus

Barnabus329@hotmail.com

very enjoyable. nice, sweet and gentle story of an event we all will go thru in life if we are lucky. I liked particularly the gentleness of the male.. the concern for his girlfriend's feelings and physical well-being and for the possible consequences of their lovemaking. May all girls have similar worthy partners when their time comes.

Awesome story! I loved it! I agree that it should have a second part. Maybe with a foreword explaining a bit of what they have done, college, other partners etc and then when they're graduating or something. They should stay together though :] Not many couples do nowadays although it does happen now and again.

Like someone else said.. I liked his gentleness in how he acted towards her and how he thought about her too and not just himself. Most men are definitely not like that! Hope to see another story soon!

We have a winner!!

I've read many stories on Literotica.

And I have to say this is the best I could find.

Hope to read more!!

Thanks, everyone.

I really enjoyed the working up to the "Deed." A beautiful story.

Good writing, nice pace. A true love story.

The umbrella of moralism protects the sex and Eros from dirtiness/sin. While it might make the intimacy more acceptable and comfortable for some, it also weakens the erotic power. These kids - you portray them realistically in their hesitations and uncertainties toward each other. But you don’t let their eroticism really speak by placing it under love and marriage. In Freudian terms, you force the id to bow to the super ego.