All Comments on 'Jennifer Ch. 01'

It took a few paragraphs for me to understand this story is not "American: and therefor had to be read in a European context. The final kicker was the heights in CM; 5 feet 7 inches makes more sense to me than 175. That's just my hang-up. I made the necessary language shift and reprocessed. I think there is real potential here for a Loving Wife type of story and you have done fairly well for a new author. I vote - Keep on with your tale.

Give it up .

You'll got all kinds of crap from people who hate this kind of story, but it is a cuckold story. As such, it has real potential. I'm anxious to read more.

What Palindrone said is basically true, so be prepared for a load of abuse from certain quarters, on a personal level too!

The story is very well written and holds immense promise. I just hope that the negative comments you're bound to get don't make you give up. There's an excellent story here, waiting to be read by a lot of people that appreciate such stories. Stick with it!

please the sickos are warning people that the big bad comments are coming and are not going to like your story, try telling your family what you like and what you write and see if they feel all lovey towards you they would tell you the same thing your sick fucks.

You should read indiansubmale's stories and comments to see if you are ready to really post a story like this here. What is worse with your story is that this is of your own making. Post it in gay male or fetish, you will have better feedback.

You said it in the story several times that you need to get mental help and that is definitely the truth! It's called Paraphilia and is a mental sickness and this guy for sure has it! Please take this FETISH story and post it in the FETISH section with the other sickos!!!

She makes you a cuckold? How does a secret jerk off fantasy compare to an actual event? How is that even make sense? If she hates him and is so disgusted then simply get a divorce and take half his shit. Why CHEAT on him? Why commit ADULTERY? Why DEGRADE herself?

If he had a picture of various drugs and people using them and jerked off to it, would she become a crack whore just because???? According to the author, the answer would be yes.

I think that your story is very very good. I can not wait to read more. Please continue the store.

A great start and overall well written. You seem to be headed towards Jasons submission, which is what I believe most of us cuckolds truly crave. Can't wait for more.

forget about the cuck fantasy bullshit. OK, now examine the marriage and relationship. She is right that her first instinct is towards divorce. He should jump on it, and let her get away. Since she goes in at the start to the idea of cucking hubby with extreme prejudice and reservation, than it is MORE than just a red flag....It's all the fireworks on the 4th of July sounding off that this is going to end VERY BADLY! She has ALL READY lost respect and trust in him, and will realize that it REALLY is someone else that should provide her with a normal healthy and stable relationship. The problem here is that the marriage itself is too young and not strong enough to withstand the torture and angst and general mayhem and stress that this most ridiculous and misunderstood of fetishes will deliver on the would-be cuckold couple. The next problem will be that the people she is likely to meet as a result of this experiment will NOT be the kind of people interested in her maintaining a healthy normal or stable relationship with them much less her husband. The story, as it evolves from here, should be how he puts a stop to it, saves himself and her and their marriage from destruction. Unfortunately, the story from here MOST definitely will be about her growing contempt and his continued humiliation, and the only matter left for debate will be how long the fuze is still lit on this ticking time bomb of a marital disaster. Will it just end swiftly after she realizes he doesn't do it for her anymore, or will she embrace the cruelty of the position and enjoy slowly destroying his manhood so that there is no trace of the man he used to be that she thought she had married? Will it end in a blanket of depression and solitude, or will he be encouraged to commit suicide, thinking probably correctly that he'll never be what she needs again, and that there could never be another woman out there that he can find a true loving happiness with? Since this character is half way admitted his own bi-sexual tendencies, may be his liberation will come after he finally comes out as fully homosexual, and he will ultimately be fulfilled in the arms of a likeminded poofter. Obviously, in any case, the answer is that this marriage is OVER. Why experience the pain of trying to fix something so heinously broken? Get therapy, get in touch with what is really important in your relationships, and try to crave the happiness in life that doesn't come at the expense of other's misery. Good luck!

The basic writing is OK, but that's not the problem. The problem is plot structure. One of the more difficult aspects of writing a good story is to have the internal logic of the plot and motivations of the characters make sense -- within the story.

A small example: you need to get the story going by having the wife find the porn collection. It might be an otherwise irrelevant detail .. finding the porn is important, how it's found isn't. But it still has to make sense. I tripped over the section where he's browsing his collection before going to work (really??) and then 'forgets' to turn off the laptop. It's just silly.

The BIG problem, as others have mentioned, is with the character and motivation of the wife. She is set up as being conservative, which is also the basic problem of their sex life. So what happens? She finds his porn habit disgusting, is ready for divorce, and then is prepared to fuck some guy as a precondition for reconciliation. WHAT?? Is this the same wife we're talking about? You need to make the set-up more logical, more coherent, in line with the personality you give her.

Line ONE...'searched for keyS...inserted IT'.

GMAFB

Nice story and well written. I wonder what Hank's reply will be to Jason's request. I think Jason will be learning a hard (no pun intended) lesson. If Jennifer likes how Hank handles his equipment if he agrees to Janson's request, then Hank find himself going on a long dry spell that may last a very long time. Can't wait to see how this develops. Thank on what appears to be a good counter to his watching porn and ignoring his wife.

Please don't do that!

Just continue to write!

Submissiveness is a mask for unhappiness, no matter how convincing the afflicted sound. Giving up your self-worth is wrong in all cases. Stop before it's too late.

just shitty plot. nothing erotic now nor in the future to see.

i am going to fuck around on u because u read porn, translated into communication, I have been fucking around cheating on u in secret, now u you have given me a way to do it without hiding. Divorce the idiot and get on with your life. End of story.

Fantastic introduction!!!!!!!!!!!! Congratulation!!!!!!!!

Please, continue soon ;)

There were this many fucked up guys that want this shit, I can't believe anybody could live like this, let alone like it, makes me sick.

The wife "discovering" disgusting fantasies on hubby's computer is not new. Nor is the idea of a man with a small cock, who lacks self-esteem, who thinks he is not worthy of his wife, and who wants to be humiliated as a fetish for sexual excitement. If wife Jennifer is so disgusted by this, so revolted, and she is seriously thinking about divorce, then why is she now proposing to do the cuckolding that she finds so "sick?"

Is Jennifer now thinking she wants to shock her husband ("be careful what you wish for, you just might get it") so that he'll realize that fantasy is not the same as reality? Does she love him in some sense so-as to want to give him his fantasy? Does she want an excuse to fuck around, as another comment suggests?

What would the future hold for Jennifer in this scenario, as opposed to simply divorcing hubby and seeking a healthy, long-term relationship with someone she can truly respect and love? And why is our "hero" so much into grovelling, whining, and apologizing when it's only a fantasy, deviant though it may be?

I guess "in sickness and in health" meant nothing to Jennifer when she said the wedding vows -- she does not even pretend to want to heal their relationship and is descending into as sick a role as that which she criticizes vis-a-vis her husband. She'll be a cheating domme who will relegate hubby to a fluffer and creampie role. Yuk. Oh, by the way, one star.

While some things are expected... the well written and rounded out plot makes it a perfect set up for the eExpected" yummy Creampie to come

I liked it, continue.

Stop writing, this is so unoriginal and boring!

I am one of the sick dudes that gets off on stories like this one. I am one that wouldn't be able to live like that but I get off reading about other men put in this position. Over my life I have known two marriages like this. My wife and I were pretty good friends with them. Some times we would go to one of their outdoor parties in the summer and watch one or both of their wives take one of the single men into the house to fuck. Most all of the people knew what was going on. It was funny to be their when one of their wives came over and told him she was going to show him the house. His face would turn red and he would wiggle and twitch the whole time she was inside. Like I said, I wouldn't put up with that but it was really fun to watch. Please keep writing stories like this one. When you have so many readers and only a few people don't like them it can't be all bad.

Unrealistic, boring, and beat to fucking death.

I notice a lot of people are calling this boring--frankly, I'm really enjoying it. It's more about the emotional journeys of the characters, and not just plunging into outrageous sex. If you just want to read about outrageous sex scenes, there's plenty on Literotica for you to read! (I enjoy those stories, too :3 ). This one's about emotional development...it kind of reminds me of Junichiro Tanizaki's "Naomi" (or in Japanese, "The Love of a Fool)." It's a really hot book, although there are only really a few spankworthy pages. It's a long savoring of the emotions behind cuckoldry.

Besides, aren't you scanning these furtively before you're caught? You should be able to tell if a story's not your cup of tea, and move to the next one before you've invested a lot of time :3

Come out of the closet and find yourself a guy that you can marry, it's becoming legal in many states now

Nice fantasy, not of the "my-wife-is-always-willing-and-just-waiting-for-the right-moment" category, which makes it more interesting than other wife sharing stories.Looking forward to reading part 2.

Dude, if someone was willing to rip my heart out I"d be gone, if you really want this fucked up gay shit then who cares, you are beyond help as a man anyway.

It's amazing how much byle your story stirs up. It's like fifty/fifty love it, hate it. I really enjoyed reading the comments. I think you're off to a good start. Go for part two. Lets see what that brings. You might want to get a BP vest though.

You have to remember america is imperisl the redt if the world moved to metric years ago. The last time i looked this site was international

but the wind isn't blowing in his favor, TK U MLJ LV NV

If this is your first story, make it your last. Most of us would appreciate that. We have enough wimp ass cuckold stories in this genre already. Who needs another writer polluting erotica.

I mean, this is your story, you made the people in it... the wife is angry about the porn, so her response is to become the slut she hates? It doesn't even make sense. Why didn't you bother to put ore than 10 minutes of thought into your story? Don't you have any pride?

Oh my, the wife/girlfriend talking about their man's porn habit. I'm sure many on this site have been there. I loved how Jason rationalizes his porn use. It is touching and even a little amusing. Nice work.

SHUT THE DOOR ON YOUR WAY OUT BITCH!

FETISH

grow a set.

Biases apply so take with a grain of salt.

Seemed a little too aggravated, sort of like an absolute worst case scenario on the borderline of believable for her reaction. I know you need a plot hook to move forward, and who doesn't like a little dominance in this genre, but it feels like Jennifer isn't fledged out as a multi-dimensional person.

Try to evoke the inner turmoil of "aghast" without reckless abandon? Insert some sort of struggle on her part.

As always, grain of salt. I can't filter out these suggestions from my personal preference to just a universal point in writing style. Maybe people love a single-track-minded bossy woman. As for me I've always found there's a unique but important distinction between 'dominant' and 'bossy'

Another story with no ending. 1*

illiterate cuck shit.

just another whore wife

Please don't write anymore... if you do, please look at what you put down and think... would this ever happen in a million years??? Dump the wife ...

...."You're a sick pathetic animal and you disgust me." Divorce the slut and go on with a happy life! That idiotic wife doesnt know life and your time is to precious to waste it at her!!!

the feel is so nice . I came wondering where it would go....

"So you mean to tell me, you get it off, by fantasizing about other guys fucking me while you watch? You're a sick, sick bastard, do you know that?" she cried. ... I totally agree with that line from this story.

I sincerely hope that there is.no chapter two. This was awful.

Typical cuck. Ever finishes

Imagine getting mad with your husband for watching porn.

It's a great story!... I'm A Very Very Submissive Black Cuck!.. I don't know how I got so turned on by the lifestyle but I know when me and my ex girlfriend would go out guys would gawk over her. Then I was caught the same way!... She asked me if I wanted to try it out and I said yes and she gave me exactly what I asked for and more!.. I'm a 6'5 225lb black man. In two sessions with her trainer I was on my knees cleaning his phallus!... He was very dominant and Huge. She eventually made me move into our second bedroom and I had to listen until they were finished then I had to clean her and him up. It turns me on so much that I can't control my lust. I think I need a psychiatrist....lol... Cleyon Davis Jr

To bad this story was only a one chapter story. It was a good start and could have gone a good couple more. With continued on the cuckolding, then chastity cage uses, with forced cream pie eating..