All Comments on 'Jenny and Carrie Ch. 11'

A very good story. Sad at times and funny at times. Love it.

The only thing I see wrong with it is you need to have someone to proof it for you. As I read it, I will change what I need to to make it read better, but I don't mind doing that if the story is good enough for me to continue to read it, which I have. Can't wait for the rest of it.

Jenni, I understand what you said both at the beginning of this chapter and in private e-mails, but this chapter seemed to have a bit of that "racing" quality that I pointed out in Chapter 1. The buildup of the ladies' relationships with their boyfriends/soon-to-be husbands was way too sketchy, especially considering the the ladies' sexual relationship with each other. We needed a little bit more meat on the bone here. Good coverage of the medical conditions and what the ladies had to go through although even here a bit more detail about how all of this was affecting the ladies emotionally as they were going through it would have been nice.

Peace, Steve

I have been doing the same type of proofing all along that you have been doing because, as you say, it helps make the story read better for me. Sometimes words or parts of words are left out, and I have to guess what is being said. Quality-wise, though, the story is top notch.

Why is this story posted in Literotica?

Maybe It's just me, but I don't find it the least bit erotic.