All Comments on 'Johnny Breaks Out'

Story to good to stop keep it going.

Got story and the storyline will have me reading the next chapter but the point of view needs work. Is this present tense? Past? First or third person? It seems awkward phrased almost as a clinical description at times.

Great story with these bugs worked out

You keep mixing tenses Please make it past or present, but mixing them throws me out of the story.

Well when the shell breaks you've gotta go with it! A great start to what promises to be a well thought out and written story. I look forward to reading the next chapter. As this is my first foray into your writing and the first story you posted here I have added you to my favorites list. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination (memories?) and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.