All Comments on 'Join The Club'

I enjoyed both of your stories.

.....maybe his mother, aunt, etc.

Another twit that thinks writing in present tense is the way to go.

Garbage.

not sure if he was on drugs but they might be needed to understand the two pages of mind numbing confusion

3* For the attempt.

Theres no back story or character development.

Starting things off with any reader not having a clue

what the authors trying to convey.

Then this story left me annoyed.

Two sisters that supposedly lust after and Love him.

Chose to apparently trick him into going to an orgy.

Get him both drunk and drugged out of his mind.

Then proceed to tease and fuck him in-front of a

dozen plus strangers that all seem to know exactly

who he is but he didn't recognize any of them.

This came out as more of a brain fart.

Some where in here is the ingredients to cook up

a decent story. But it needed a lot more preparation

and baking to get there...

I think whoever wrote this exercise in total confusion must have overdosed on acid and magic mushrooms.

It's not a perfect story, but it's a solid story... I like how it begins. I'm living the story through his eyes, as it's happening. I feel the story begins as he begins to consciously come to. There are a few things I would of added, maybe a little more depth and color to the setting... Would definitely have gone into more depth with his inner thoughts and past actions. But otherwise it's a nice piece and I look forward to what you will submit next. Cheers.

Why do people waste our time with crap like this?!!

Calling this dumbass first-person/present-tense stuff "writing" is only fooling yourself.

the basics for a decent story were there but i could have used a little resolution to what was going on. what club are they in? was it a drug he took or was it all in his head? these are questions that while maybe unimportant to the story as a whole would serve to flesh it out and make it a more enjoyable read. as they say: the devil's in the details.

I enjoyed this story. It was well thought out.

I felt drugged reading this, in a good way, if that was your intention keep it up. Well done.

Nussimme siskon kanssa kiimassa.