All Comments on 'Journal of Desire Ch. 02'

I really liked some of the writing and presentation of the characters in the story. But, the rather over done image of Jonathon Corsair detracts from the plot. Some of the lines like her legs turning to pudding are out of a bodice ripper novel and make it hard to take the story seriously. The scene at the newspaper office is probably the best part of the story so far, but she should have fired "Ms" Warren because anyone can see that she is going to be a fox in the hen house and a negative factor in the effort to turn the paper around.

The development of the story line and characters is progressing well. Keep things going.

Do not listen to those that critique your story.

Editorial comments, when given...should be listened to and evaluated if possible.

keep writing. more often.