Keeping Options Open

"Yep, I think that is what it means. Even I can acknowledge a good woman when I see her. There's just something about her..."

The voice of Flanagan interrupted us, "McFadden, your partner is ready..."

George had poor McFadden taking out a rookie today with him. Lache' who was just on desk before I took his place, was very excited to be going out for a second time.

McFadden sighed, giving me a quick slap on the back. "Well congrats man, let me know when the wedding is..."

As he walked away, I chuckled.

'I said relationship, not a trip to the alter...'

When I turned around, I looked directly into the face of the commander trainee. "What's up mate, did I say somethin' yet again, to embarrass you?"

Nigel exhaled, leaning back in his seat. "No, it's just the whole commitment talk doesn't sit well with me is all..."

"Oh, why not, bad experience or..."

Before I could really delve into his business, he stopped me. "No, no, no, it's just like I informed you yesterday, I like to keep all my options open. You neva know if someone comes along that might appeal to you..."

"I can't possibly think that anyone would steal my attention away from Renee. She's quite the looker mate, she's got everything a man could want in a woman; intelligence, looks, sex appeal, just..."

"That's fantastic chum, you ar a lucky one then. Excuse me, let me go drop these papers off on the chiefs desk then I'll be ready to roll alright?"

"Erm, okay," I said shaking my head as he marched towards Flanagan's office.

'Again, I did or said something to jar this guy...'

I took a seat at my own desk, pondering Nigel's statement.

'What on earth does he mean?'

Moreover, why did I care what he meant or why? Is it because he was a fellow countryman? Do I want to get to know him better since we have the Brit deal in common?

The second statement might be true.

Although many of my co-workers were quite fond of me, I had no real close, tight, male friends. They were all married with kids while I was busy living mi vida loca, going out all times of the night, looking for girls. All of them said they lived their lives through me, often times I had came in giving my stories of nights before with just about every man here in the precinct, attending.

Nigel and I could be partners, buddies; two single men around the same age, hanging together. The plus would be that we were both from the same place, I would not have to explain my Brit speak to him.

However, that might not happen if I continued to say the wrong things. Wish I knew what they were.

"Alright Taylor, I'm ready to hit the road..." he said checking his phone while walking back over in my direction.

"Cool, let's roll..." I said hopping out the chair, following my tall partner of the day out the station.

While leaving, I checked my Blackberry to see if I had any naughty messages from my lady. Of course, there were several making me blush like a little school girl.

Nigel looked back when I chuckled about the last one. "You alright there Taylor?" His browns met mine; the serious look on his face puzzled me.

"Sorry, mate. My girl is sending me some dirty texts is all...hey listen," I paused thinking of how I could take a little time to make friends while still having enough energy to return back to my lair to please my princess some more.

I continued, "Erm mate, why don't we go out for a beer er two tonight afterwards, we can chat. You seem a little uptight, you nervous about going out here..."

Softening his stance, "I'm always a little nervous, I was just wondering why you were cackling like a hen..."

I giggled, "Apologies chum, my gal is not shy about lettin' me know exactly what's on her mind. She's says she'll..."

"Erm yeah, that little excursion tonight sounds great, mate. I need to get out after taking all those stupid online courses last week. I felt like I was back at Salsberry Middle..."

'Did he just cut me off?'

Frowning, "Okay Nigel, its set then." I put my phone back in my pocket, watching him turn in the direction of the squad vehicle.

Still befuddled as to why he interrupted me, I quickly walked ahead of my partner, pushing the remote to unlock the doors.

Seemingly, Nigel had an issue every time I wanted to talk of relationships, my gal, commitment, I needed to find out why and since we would be alone in the car, I would ask him at that moment.

I had long considered myself a pretty stand up person, confronting people when something about them irked me. Although, I was happy to have a fellow Brit in the department to be close, tight, friends with, I felt we needed to settle the tension between us, immediately.

When we closed the doors, "What is yor problem, Mathewson..." I said with annoyance. That last episode bothered me.

"Erm what," he said looking at the radio, trying to find some music.

"What is your deal, Nigel. Every time I start talking about my gal, my relationship, you cut me off. Listen mate if were gonna be chums, you need to stop interrupting me when I speak about her. I mean, we haven't known each other two days yet and seemingly we cannot chat about somethin' as simple as my girl..."

Nigel turned, looking me in the eye, "I don't want to hear about your woman, Michael. Sorry, maybe I should've articulated that..."

"Oh, you jealous, is that it?"

"Hells no, Taylor. I told you I wanted to keep my options open, that commitment is not my deal. Besides...I...I don't..."

Readying myself to explode since he just mentioned he didn't want to chat about my present lover, I sat quietly, balling up my fist, and "You don't what!"

Nigel's eyes narrowed, "I don't like women, Michael. I'm a bender, a nancy..."

Chapter five

Nigel's admission hit me like a ton of bricks. Quiet, we both sat there in the squad car, knowing we should be looking for anything suspicious.

"Erm, Nigel, I...I'm sorry..." I said, looking out the windshield.

'That's why all that talked bothered him, he's not into girls...'

"It's alright, Michael. That was rude of me, very rude, I apologize, mate. It's not your fault I was born a little screwed up..."

Although I wasn't gay, I could sympathize with Nigel. A close, tight friend of mine, back in Britain, came out while we still were in middle school. Often times I was his best pal since no other straight bloke wanted to be around him. I always considered him to be my best chum, until he took, his own life once he found out he had contracted AIDS several years ago. I was devastated and I committed my life doing whatever I could to help fight the disease.

Moreover, because of my fallen friend, I had no issue reaching out to gay men. Although I knew none at this juncture, simply because I did not hang in the same circles like I did when my pal was alive.

"You're not screwed up Nigel, nothin' wrong with being gay..."

"Oh yeah there is, especially when yor parents expect you to be one way and you are not wot they wanted you to be..."

"How close are you with them?"

"Not very tight anymore. My parents are strict Catholics; they refuse to acknowledge me as their son."

"That's really a shame..."

"Such is the reason I moved here, away from them to start a new life as a cop. Moreover, I love fighting crime, it's my passion..."

"Indeed, mine as well..."

"Listen, I really rather you not say anythin' about this to anyone, you know the force is like the military..."

"Of course, Nigel, I would not dare. Your secret is safe with me..."

"Appreciated, look, again, I am sorry I been rude. Forgive me, I...I hope that my confession and my stupidity has not made you change your mind about us hanging out tonight..."

"No, no, not at all..." I said, starting the car.

"Good, you know Taylor," he cleared his throat, then, "When you asked if I were jealous and I told you no, that was a lie..."

Before, putting the gear into drive, I faced him again, "Really, you envy the little thing I got with my girl or..."

"No, I'm jealous that she got the chance to be with you before I could put a little somethin' on your mind..."

Upon hearing that, I turned the ignition off. I heard the chief's voice coming from the CB but paid it no attention.

"What did you..."

'Did he just say that he was upset that he did not get a chance with me?'

"Yeah Taylor, I said I am envious of your girl for getting you first. What did you think I meant when I spoke of keeping my options open?" Nigel leaned in closer, flashing a wicked smile.

"Erm, I thought you were talking about playing the field..."

"Oh yeah, I was indeed, just not narrowing it down to just the birds. I mean, at times, even I like a little gal to keep me interested but clearly, I prefer the feelings of a man..."

Listening to Nigel reminded me a lot of Nicholas, God rest his soul. He used to say the same, how men were what he fancied so much more over the birds. I recall when he first told me that I tried to convince him otherwise, telling him it was just a phase.

However, over time, I had gotten used to the idea of him being a bender, even accompanying him to a lot of gay clubs while I was still in Britain. Before he passed, he came to visit me in New York. Of course, when I took him to the places here, he fit right in.

That last night before he left, he admitted to me that he loved me. That he wished I were gay too, just so he would not be alone. When we got back to my place, we shared a few drinks before waking up on the couch lying within each other's arms that following morning. At first, we were a little jarred by the scene but, once we chatted about it, everything ended up okay. I made it clear to him that I was not gay but I would support him through everything that I could. After some moments, we embraced, planting an indelible thought in my mind. I enjoyed the kiss; maybe I am a bit campy.

"I see, well, um...I..."

"Have you ever thought about what it is like, Michael?" The voice of the chief sounded again, but at this time, it was not important.

"Uh, I have, well, I used to have a friend that was gay and well, we shared somethin'..."

"Really? What was it?" Again, he came a little closer, putting his hand on the dash.

"Uh, well it was a kiss..."

"Is that so, one like this," he said before angling towards me, enveloping my mouth with his.

The feel of his lips a top mine woke my dick up immediately. My slacks had become snug, tight.

"Mmmhhh..." I breathed as his hands cupped my face, keeping me in that position to receive his embrace.

Our tongues, intertwined, making this smooch even hotter. Slowly, I eased my fingers into his hair, combing the strands whilst devouring his mouth.

"Oh...Michael, mmhhh..." he whispered as we connected once more, decreasing the space between us.

Seemingly, for the umpteenth time, I heard Flanagan's voice from the radio. I shifted my hand from Nigel's head to the steering wheel, gripping it tightly before smacking it hard.

When we ceased, I snatched the receiver up, towards my mouth. I took a deep breath, trying to catch it after locking lips with my partner, the commander in training.

"Yes, sorry chief, we were having a conversation...you were sayin'?"

The voice came through loud and clear, "Taylor, we need you and Mathewson to go check out a robbery on Fourteenth and Elm, what is your twenty..."

Fourteenth and Elm was less than ten minutes away. "We are in the area sir, we'll go have a look..." I said while Nigel placed his hand atop mine.

"Good, and the next time I call you on the radio, answer damnit. I know you guys are from the same country but now is the time to work, you can have conversation when you get off the streets. Be careful, over?"

"Ten-four, sir..." I said before slamming the thing down into its holder. "God's he can be such a prick sometimes..."

Nigel, took the back of my hand, placing a light kiss on my knuckle. "He's only doing what a chief should be." At the close of his sentence, he took a strand of my straight hair, curling it around his finger. "I did not want to stop either, maybe later we can continue?"

'How did he know I did not want to stop?'

"Erm, yeah, I, listen we need to get goin'; hold that thought..." I said, starting the engine, bolting out of the lot.

Nigel released my hand before turning on the siren. While my eyes were on the road, his were fixed on me.

As I drove, I thought about Nigel's admission, my friend Nicholas, the kiss that Nigel and I just shared. Obviously, that moment long ago, that Nicholas and I had, left me wanting more.

What else would stop me from decking my new partner besides the fact he might be my boss someday? The initial kiss put an indelible mark on my mind, I could not resist feeling it once more. Moreover, now I knew why I cared so much about what Nigel thought and why he was on my brain the day before.

Nigel was a fine looking bloke and I could not deny the attraction, despite my new commitment, my body and conscious was interested in keeping the options open.