All Comments on 'Kellin Ch. 02'

you are kinda all over the place. Try to slow down maybe. no offense but how many ice bags did cam end up with? lol he got one from Kellin's mom, one from Kellin and then Kellin was making more. not a big deal but it made me laugh.

Mostly I got a feeling of all over the place when Kellin said he liked Cam the year before. here he was saying he was in love with David for five years, so he was in love with cam too the year before? there were other spots where it felt all over the place like David saying he regretted his decision and then he was all lovey with Connor. try to keep more consistent or maybe just go back and read and see if what characters say and do follow correctly. hope this helps.

Interesting chapter.

I was a little surprised that Kellin moved on so quickly....

Can't wait to see what happens.

Keep up the good work.

:)

I'm enjoying the story but I have to agree with Anonymous that the emotions seem to come and go. They're in love one second, then in love with someone else. David starts to regret his decision to stay with Connor and then all it takes is a weekend cottage and good sex and he no longer is thinking about it? David is coming across as being flightly and indecisive.

Laughed over the spray paint on the cars, but unsure about Kellin's and David's feelings for each other. Is David really sorry he chose Conner because it doesn't seem like it. Know all about rebound love, but Kellin switched to Cam awfull fast.

So far, the story intrigues me and I want to see how it turns out. I agree with some of the other comments, though. It did seem that Kellin just kind of jumped into things with Cameron too soon, and David was a total jerk, in my opinion, hurting his friend that way after being so badly hurt himself. David will have to do something pretty awesome to redeem himself.

I like the story but agree with anonymous. Also, since the tittle is kellin i hoped to read more about his "love story" but you write more about david and conner.

thanks

Don't listen to them. There's a difference between being rude and constructive criticism. They chose the former, especially for someone who hides behind the anonymous, like myself. That being said, I agree that Kellin jumped into it way too quick, and David's indecisive, but I'm wondering if that's how it's supposed to be.. I'm intrigued. Continue, please.

Ok. I read it again, and I can see why Kellin fell for Cameron as he did, so I take back my earlier statement about that. I'm interested to see the outcome.

Those who have made the comments about this being all over the place have forgotten high school. Everything that's happened has made sense to me -- from a high school perspective. Of course Kellin would move on quickly -- maybe not completely, but there's a void in his life that Cameron fills nicely. And as far as being in love with David for 5 years and having a crush on Cameron the year before, it happens. Especially when you're young and in an unrequited love situation.

And I understand David not feeling happy with his choice, but then being wooed once more by Collin. Again, young love.

I'm mainly worried that Colin is going to hurt David. He seems violent and unstable, in spite of being in love with David.

Keep going. I'm really enjoying your story. (You were all over the place with the ice bags though -- LOL!)

Can't wait for more.

I enjoyed this story very much! The drama is exactly like every high school anywhere. Please write another chapter soon because it's just starting to get hot and juicy!

where is the rst of this story.? this cant be it.?

PLEASE continue writing this one!

Is this story abandoned? I really hope not!

Please hurry with chapter 3!!!

This is pissing me off Connor is such a fucking douchebag

there needs to be a 3rd chapter :(

It seems to me like this story is mostly about David and his boyfriend, so hy exactly is this story called Kellin?

You gotta continue this story! Such a good start to what could be an incredible series... I really hope u continue this!

Connor's a douche, and David's deluded and a bit too heartless for me to care about their sex life. who cares if they're making up in the woods? I might feel a little sorry for David (for the half second he remembered Kelli actually had feelings), but he made his bed. He burned his bridges, and I'm done caring about him.

YET ANOTHER UNFINISHED STORY