by sagacious21
Your improvement in your storytelling is noticeable from your earlier stories which were already pretty good. That the dialogue between the characters is a bit formal is the only improvement I would suggest. I'm putting you on my definite read list and look forward to the rest of this story!
Let us see, Ken is paid $1200 a week with room and board and gets laid 3 times a week. Gets to beat the crap out of bad guys and he feels unloved and used because they call him Kenny.
Sounds like heaven to me.
this story is turning out to be better than the the action movie dvd i bought yesterday...
So much happened. That nurse needs a cold shower. Excellent story! I think it's just a matter of time for Ken and Connie.
Thanks for the comments. I have cued up the rest of the story for submission, just waiting for approval.
I always knew mall cops were secret ninjas, but I want to know more about the diet that lets you lose 50 pounds in 2 months and turns you from a fat slob into raging action hero who is mistaken for a body builder. Entertaining story, if a wee bit unrealistic....
Now, this chapter is most certainly, an interesting plot twist. Write on!!!!!
Is so like someone on a diet that they sometimes don't notice the changes that have been made. They know it's something different but don't realize that it's as great... Ken is awsome and Connie needs to work fast cause I see Ken will be busy.