All Comments on 'Key Logger Surprise'

Nice revenge. I'll hope, he don't gets a VD at the philippines

Nuc

He went somewhere besides the Philipines, there are some nasty strains of VD over there. Take the money and run, that is justice. He retires and she goes to jail, sounds good to me.

Incoming that story was incredible that wife was so busted when the husband finds her and her trick in a booth and gets dowsed with beer.lol,I hope you will be writing more and more chapters to this story if you write any more stories like this try putting them in the novel-novellas instead of these cliff changers.

Pat Murray

Atlanta,Ga

Got to say, not many can develop a respectable revenge/retribution like this author! Bravo! Keep up the great work!

The husband is the good guy, the wife is evil, the dialog is non-existent. There is not a sound uttered from the wife, not a peep. Even the revenge is flat since hubby can't stay around to see (and hopefully hear) what she has to say. This is way too formulaic...and BORING.

The revenge was perfect. All too often authors come up with complex, improbably high risk revenge that would often put the person in jail. Jack just took the money and left. He can't be charged with stealing because officialy she doesn't have the money.

The story was disappointing because his wife Erica doesn't have any more depth than a cardboard prop. The only words from her during the entire story were 'Where the fuck do you think you are going'. There is nothing to give us any idea what was going on in her mind. And Jack's character isn't a whole lot better.

If I see that word "gawd" again in a story, I think I'll shoot my brains out.

"Oh, gawd!"

What crap.

learn the difference between 'quiet' and 'quite; 'wonder' and 'wander', and 'to' and 'too'. Then get an editor to make sense of your bizarre sentences.

straight arrow hubby plans to go whoremongering in the Philippines? Oh, my Gawd! is about the only proper response!

Apparently whoring is bad, using whores is OK.

so let me see if I have this right.... he see his wife at the local bar face fucking some strange guy then pours a whole pitcher of Ice cold beer on her and the guy... and he never ever actally has THAT conversation? she never tries to explain???

sure happens all the time

Cant for the life of me understand how he thought she was doing a business with what amounted to be no sales. But then not noticing you had a whore for a wife indicates the level of brain power he had. I do like him walking out and on her and taking the money and just disappearing. That is good. Going for filipa whores isnt tho, why waste the money, get a nice car and have some woman let you move in with her as her resident stud. Yeppers some guys have no real imagination.

Incoming:

I have to agree with some of the previous posts. I share 'xbow's' sentiments regarding your submission. While I do enjoy a tale wherein the husband exhibits some moxie and executes a revenge which involves brains over brawn, your story felt hollow.

The first part describes an idyllic marriage. Suddenly the husband is confronted by the knowledge that his wife is a hooker. What? When and how did this happen? You give no foundation for her transition from happy housewife to workaholic call girl. With her MBA and her home business seemingly doing well, it's hard to fathom just why she would engage in such a tawdry endeavor. Apparently this couple was doing well financially. Sorry, but to me it just doesn't make sense. Even "literary license" can't bridge the gap here. And the lack of any communication between the two was not credible. You provided one line of dialog between the two, and that was simply her voicing her astonishment and anger at being doused with beer. Were you to have provided more, perhaps you could shed more light on her pursuing her new vocation. I was also curious why, upon being discovered selling her wares, she showed no remorse whatsoever. Again, what happened to cause such an apparent rift in a relationship you had described earlier as exemplary that she would act that way?

I too suggest you find a reliable editor. Although your gaffs were minor (knew vs. new, etc.), I did find them distracting. I do believe you were on to something here. You just didn't pull it off. Thanks for your effort. I'll look forward to future efforts made by you.

Philip

Perfect story? Not even the author feel that it was, but he is growing.

Next should be an editor and more confidence with dialog. His imagination works goodly and the rest will follow if he wants.

In the mean time, a story of marital consequence is better than 1,000,000 cuckster watching male humiliation tails.

So thanks Author - More please.

With all the “willing cuckold” stories posted recently and “nici’s diatribe story, this story by Incoming was such a welcome relief. Incoming’s revenge idea was well conceived despite the fact that there was almost no dialog. A good non-violent revenge story is always welcomed.

Average writing at best. The dialog is uninteresting and there are a number of poorly constructed sentences scattered throughout the prose.

<P>

The characterizations aren't particularly well-done and the characters aren't believable. The plot is simplistic and not presented in an interesting fashion. So little time is spent on Ellen that we literally do not who she is and, thus, we have no idea why she would do what she did.

<P>

It's not a well-written story. Here's a 50 for your effort and I thank you.

Apparently, a lot of guys get off on revenge stories. Either that, or there's an awful lot of men who have been cheated on or think they're being cheated on, who vent their impotent rage reading or writing stories like this. Honestly, a wife fucking around on her clueless wimp husband is a huge turn-on for most men with a set of balls. Either the guy fucked up and married the wrong woman or he doesn't have what it takes. Either way, face the facts and move on. The wives do.

Why all the flames? This is a pretty good story. A guy who works hard and has to travel gets blindsided by his "loving" wife. He considers his options, gets some more informatino, figures an optimal course of action, and does it. Story is a good read and concise. I'd say he did pretty well - she's in the pen and he's retired.

look when you grow up and know what life is about we will talk.betrayal and cheating spouse can destroy a man self emteen.a whore or slut can come out of no where and you're fucked.justice not revenge is what so men want.there consequences for your actions.you play,you pay.

to himself, to the people helping him, and by expression with the pitcher of beer to his wife. She is the one that walked in went to the bedroom and shut the door. For those that think living with a whore wife is acceptable. Why marry just have a whore move in, pay for her food, housing, clothing, and otherwise provide for her, and let her keep all of her "earned" money. Also accept the rise that sooner or later disease or AIDS will strike and as she is "your woman" you will both get it. My goodness why go to jail because seh didnt report income on your joing return. Lastly to the one who said something about being a whore isnt ok but using whores is. You forgot something she was a married woman cheating on her husband to sell herself in prostitution/whoring. She was left by her husband they were not together when he used whores, if she had had character she would have left him to pursue her own business. Might surprise some men to find their loving wifes are working part time in day while they are gone.

all you cockolds out there crying the blues,because someone teaching how to be a man.what are we teaching our kids cheat and you get away with it.

Many more protein shakes…but with her tax evasion I think she would be missing the wellbeing diet while in jail… This one was quite a bit more complicated (not in a good way) and at the same time familiar, with all the computer wizardry and the international transfers. This time the wife says nothing ( I mean, let her say at least two pathetic lines before you reign your wrath on her…). Still, yours is a refreshing change compared with the torrential rain of the rainbow coalition of all sorts of wimps; self cuckolding and voyeurs…

kind of funny though

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About as realistic as cow shit in the middle of Manhattan. Where is the erotica?

Would have like too see more confrontation with her finding out what he had done with the money!

Maybe you could have had him left a dollar bill and and note saying this was her share of the money, thanks and goodbye.

The bitch got her comeuppance. You had to love that beer pitcher scene.

When the whore gets nailed like this one Who the hell needs EROTICA for Christs sake?????

I.C fully believes in ultimate paybacks, TK U MLJ LV NV

No backup plan, vulnerabilities on all side. She must have doing all of the teachers and did not learn a thing.

Really have to admit that the beer pitcher scene was worth the entry fee and that he apparently got a suitable, though being forced to live in the Phillipines does not sound that attractive...

I would have liked more detail but the whore is in jail. I guess that will have to do.

HA

tween you and her is she got paid for sex, you paid for sex.

pilipino whores will get you a bunch of paid stds, hivs, aids, etc.

woulda found a better country to go.

An editor

More dialog

More details

This story would actually work better if it was a brief flashback and a lead in to either

A) the husband meeting the ex long after her getting out of jail, finding her on a street corner or working in a brothel

B) the husband being confronted by the ex, her seeking payback for him ripping her off

C) husband and ex stupidly getting back together years later

D) years later husband is reminiscing as he's now a successful businessman with his Filipina wife and family and how he got to where he is today.

becareful what you HOOK. TK U MLJ LV NV

Simple spelling mistakes ruin a good story... We never quiet - should be quite, doing quiet well.. same again

let someone else clean up your situation.

The wife's reaction when caught by her husband isn't consistent with his surprise at catching her. If he's truly surprised, she'd understand his anger and wouldn't simply get angry herself.

I didn't rate this story. If I had, it would be a 1, partly for the wife's reaction, partly for the spelling mistakes mentioned by others.

Not truly terrible, but a waste of an idea in that it could have been done better.

The money transfer coming into the US before going back out is stupid as that makes him liable for taxes on it.

The story does not go into enough detail to show why he could afford to leave for a retirement in the Philippines at such a young age.

Even with him paying all the bills she would have needed to be one of the highest paid call girls in the area to bank that much.

Too high rent to be hanging at the sort of place he caught her at.

Why did he pay for everything? She had a business and should have contributed to the household.

He's right though, his cock will soon fall off messing with those women.

Some of them have stuff you can't kill with a flamethrower.

Way too short. Maybe a word or too from the wifey after finding hug guy and money gone

I believe I recognize which writer you are based on some of the syntax you use, and i am glad you are still writing.

It was too short, and without her response or final thoughts it didn't serve as quite an effective burn as it could have.

Thank you.

I would have loved to have found out the wife response to him leaving & then finding out he had cleaned her out😂😂😂😂

You cut the story off to quick,should have been another page or two.

leaving on your terms is the only way to fly. TK U MLJ LV NV

You left her the house and cars? Should have at least taken out a huge second mortgage to pad the retirement fund. When she couldn't pay it back, she would have lost the house and work the streets which was the inevitable path she was on anyway.

Her money was in her overseas account. There is no record of that money since she only accepted cash. She manually moved that money to an off shore account. That money is not taxable until she brings it back into the USA. So the idiot husband brings the money electronically back into his USA bank account. The only person who owes tax is the stupid husband since it was his personal USA bank account. Obviously the USA Revenue Service got an international warrant out on the husband for tax evasion and had him extradited from the Philipines!

Read it again. Excellent revenge on the cheating whore call girl cunt. With any luck she's in pain in prison.

If she had all the money in cash as you surmised, she would have no way to get the cash directly to an offshore account. She would have had to deposit the money into a local account to be able to transfer the money offshore. When the IRS checked her local account and found how much money she had deposited and compared it to her business bookkeeping (which she has to have by law) they would find more money being deposited than earned by her business. No taxes paid on the difference, she's a guest of the Feds at a nearby iron bar resort. No reason for the husband to transfer to a local account. He could send it directly into another offshore account. Whatever happened, the wife ended up in jail where she belonged.

This story could have been written by Winterfrog. The husband always stayed relatively calm and came away from the divorce with some dignity.

Quick and decisive. Just the way I like them.

Story but totally unrealistic

2 stars

Buy high priced items etc burn through money giving to family and friends

Divorce slut computer results to irs etc will get you more of money during divorce and she will not be allowed to profit from criminal activity

A hardware keylogger, I've always used software, but it works for me. I have never thought too much of MBA's, now I know why. Signed: BTW

He's really too easy on the cheating wife. Someone else put her in prison for him.

I would think she'd either try to smooth it over with lies or confront him. Still, it was interesting.

How much money did she have in her hidden accounts? Enough to leave the country??!!

The lack of a confrontation spoiled the story. She took the hump after being discovered but we never found out anything about why she started, did she ever care for him, did she have any remorse, why did she marry him? Without anything about this the story is incomplete.

Literally just one big cliched story with so many coincidences it makes Trumps Russian ties look like Romper Room.

The only thing missing was "I did find it odd that before I left for my trip I went to make love to my wife and found a full condom in her pussy and I thought, hmmmm, I need to remember that, it may mean something"

Husband

Good story but rushed and pretty much ruined it. Lots of missing pieces...should have been a couple more pages.

The story should've gone into more detail about things than it did. Feels like it was a summary story. And there should've been some major confrontations with her, & possibly alerting the IRS, stating he wasn't aware of her activities. Leave some money in the overseas accounts as proof. Last of these stories from this author I'm reading.

Not enough distance between the money transfers.

IRS going over her computer with fine tooth comb. Accounts scrutinized like no tomorrow. You don't believe they will ignore laws and hack into banks!?

Transfer back into states. Any deposits etc over x$ reported to the government. Transfer to another country that doesn't have reporting requirements. He would be in prison also.

Another good story. He has a lot of them.

Great little story! O.K, several people have already passed comment on the shaky and incorrect detailing of finance laws here which, to me is positively dwarfed by far and away the vastly bigger sin, and nit-pick of the standard fare, with a typo-ridden mish-mash of piss-poor grammar and parochial dialectic slang that is only relevant to a relatively small area of redneck Hicksville!

Not much of a story

Not sure why this has such a high score. Very light in detail and all one sided. No character development at all.