All Comments on 'Lacks Charm But Wins the Girl'

As a fellow Kiwi I always look out for your work. This is OK, but it feels like it was written in ten minutes! The typos and sloppy punctuation aren't worthy of your usual standard - maybe you could get it edited and resubmitted?

The storyline is great, but it's just too rushed to do proper justice to any part of it. It really needed to be at least twice as long to allow a proper appreciation of all the constituent parts.

I agree with the previous comment from your fellow countryman. It was a terrific story about an unusual couple. A bit of scrutiny on the typos and punctuation would have earned a 100. I enjoy your work and can only encourage you to keep at it.

Cheers,

Nicely done but must agree with that other comments. The typos, etal. make it more difficult to read than necessary. Need a good editor. But that said, I have always enjoyed your stories! Always a little different with nice character development so the reader cares about the them.

Though you are a Kiwi,your stories twitter amongst the rafters. Of course, with their wicked little claws, they could have crawled up the side. You missed (or were too polite) to allude to the awful classic American 'So, Mrs Lincoln, aside from that, how did you enjoy the play?.

Its been a long time since I read something quite like this. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Thanks

Proof read before publishing

A really great read, but please start using a spelling/grammer checker. Such errors are so distracting!

great story , but absolutely atrcious grammer

better luck next time

while the spelling was off the story was wonderful.

I like a good story line, written well, and with some nice but not "overpowering" sex. Keep writting.

You wrote: great story , but absolutely atrcious grammer better luck next time

Thanks for your comment but really, ought you be commenting critically on this site when you write like that? Luck rides with me but what about you and others like you?

Definitely Five Stars, E.G.! Thanks for a nice little tale. Improbable but fun.

It was a five star story with a two star proof reading before it was published. Loved the story; fought with the readability. Please write more.

An old retarded, er, retired sailor.

Usual crap writing.

Give up.

As Always Mr. Grigor - another great story.

19pvc44

Why does she call him dummy on first meeting? She's supposed to wait until they have both acknowledged their love to each other before she's allowed to start her process of humiliation.

Great story, but a little more punctuation would have gone a long way towards making it so much easier to read. That’s my only complaint. I can almost hear Hunter talking to Lee, in his Kiwi accent, telling her to show him her breasts. Do Kiwis talk like Mick Dundee? You know, inquiring minds want to know.

Well damn! that was an hour of my life I can't get back

Enjoyable story ... couldn't wait till I got to the end to understand the beginning and middle !