All Comments on 'Lady in Red Ch. 02'

What a disaster their innocent dates created. Or at least it was as Gwen thought, I'm still on the fence with Steve since he seem like he was hiding something. I hope it isn't anything bad.

Well, you have created a conflict out of an innocent situation which seems a bit contrived, but should work out with some face to face discussion. Our little girl may be in trouble, but hopefully her being an athlete will let her deal with the slightly drunk jerk and it should be a real lesson in life for her. Both of them need to learn right away that secrets like these "dates" are poison to a relationship.

You hung them off the edge of the cliff and tell us to tune in again next week. Really the two seem to have never read any romances, or they would know better than to do something without clueing the other in. It has to be all in the open or you can just forget about having a future. From the sounds of this they will both go on to bigger and better moments. If it was a five page story they would go to splitsville and then run into each other twenty years down after losing their first spouses but with this coming of the age structure they will get past this moment.

Great chapter mote and quick!

i especially like the naivete of both gwen and steve and the constant sense of humor throughout. i also love the classic feel of small town comfort, and relatability to all the characters.

one minor flaw that i feel the need to point out is the occasional switching of words that sound alike, eg. when steve is talking about growing up on military BASES you have the word BASIS, a relatively minor oversight but it disrupted the flow of reading for a moment while i figured it out.

otherwise a FANTASTIC story, and cant wait for the rest!!!!

a hidden past

an evil seducer

the tension rises

How come Dave Kite was at the pool party,he's not family?.

What an hypocrite Qwen is.She has only herself to blame for getting groped,pity it wasn't rape.

Wow... that last comment. So if a girl goes on a dinner to discuss business, she is a slut AND diserve getting raped? Are we in the 50's???

The "how come" and "Deserve" comments above were made by the same person over 6 months apart. He has an incurable, unremovable bug up his ass about this story. I do not delete comments, but I am amazed by them. He uses a Q for a G in Gwen. You will find his comments, often a couple of them six months apart, on almost every chapter. There are clinical terms for people like him.

I was really liking this until she wouldn’t let Steve know what happened to her on her ‘date’.

It’s always stupidity that ruins these stories.

Bill

Very disapointed in this chapter. It's not a 'date' but yet she refuses to tell Steve about it and attempts to hide it from him. Dad give him the dating lecture and she allows it. This was just poor.

Also, she goes from never dating to lying or hiding things from her new boyfriend. He treasures loyalty and she isn't providing any. I think you took this to a bad place in an effort to introduce drama. She is acting too naive and stupid.

fine.

Mort Governs would at best have been arrested. Or a bunch of guys just beat the ever loving shit out of him. His car dealership bankrupted .

Oooo…. Someone gonna get a beating’…

It’s cool when the TV stations start to follow your high school, before the Technology changes in the early 2000’s seeing a fleet of TV trucks with the 8th dishes pointed back at their stations, or relay antennaes just to broadcast your sons and their teammates, then it get wilder at the state finals.

Building nicely.

You're developing the story nicely, and building Gwen's confidence as she progresses. I truly appreciate how Steve is not the traditional "jock," so that's a head-turner of its own. Charlotte really is the clown, but she's adorable--and I love how Steve straightens out Billy to be nicer to her.

Gwen's developing more confidence and is no one's fool--especially with Mort. I can't wait to see what happens once Steve discovers Mort's groping. While I don't think it's any kind of red flag, you introducing us to Amber O'Leary and Steve's possible "shady" backstory could raise some eyebrows.

I realize this story's far along, but I'm struck by lack of transitions: at one point we're at the pool party; the next we're starting school, although some time has passed. It's a tad rough reading to reconcile some of those points without them. Still rated it a 5, but the transitions are something to remedy at some future point.

Second time through the story and really don't like how you have taken a extremely bright and beautiful woman and turned her into a disrespectful and lying woman. Going out with Mort and trying to make sure that Steve won't find out about it is are solid indications of how immature and disrespectful she is.

Also, Mort is trouble from the beginning and nobody seemed to pick up on it. Especially the father with his speech that he should have seen as being ignored by Mort.

While in part I agree with blue eyed , these are high school kids. Most of us where pretty clueless on how to act in relationships, even the guys/girls that were into sex at 15-17 were still clueless about the relationship part.

DUMB. High School Sophomore mentality. HDK you write better stories than this.

I’ve read this through several times now. It’s a great love story. Yes added together some of the action is over the top, but relax and run with it. On an item by item basis I’ve seen nearly every one of these “ actions “ in this and the coming chapters done though certainly not by the same couple.

Yes reporters can make a name covering small town sports. One of the reporters covered our small town for three years the went onto network staff covering the KC Chiefs as they won the Super Bowl twice.

Seemed to start ok, but a bit immature. It's obvious that ur anti-hero characters are "fat"/non-skinny or in some way physically less desireable, which is a turn off to the overall story. May I suggest u focus on personality traits as opposed to physical ones. It would make want to continue reading.

Wgats this story about!